- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I get you, I always feel in denial even though I know that I’m straight and want to be married to a man, it’s like it won’t accept who I am, it wants me to always think I absolutely need to be someone I don’t want to be because of minor things it latches onto as ‘proof’ of me being gay, such as liking the prettier dolls in a shop or admiring the way a girl looks, even though there’s so many reasons as to why I’m straight (having a boyfriend I’m attracted to being one of them ?) it still won’t accept it and still makes me think I’m in denial, it’s mental, literally
- Date posted
- 5y
So it is the ocd Because every time I talk to myself saying that I’m straight and I know I am I’ve only been with women in my life I’ve had crushes on women but now when these thoughts pop I know they don’t defy who I am me or like when I say that I’m straight now it’s starting to feel weird and that’s what scares me because I know that I am straight but my mind is telling me otherwise therefore I feel like I’m doubting myself and I search Google every single day and I guess that’s another form of compulsiveness and To be reinsured about myself but that drives me nuts because I know what I am and what I want I know who I am but my mind is going everywhere that’s the part that scares me the most that I lost
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- 5y
I still have faith but at the same time it’s troubling And it’s only really bad when I try to sleep because my intrusive thoughts manifests itself in my dreams and I wake up with panic attacks
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- 5y
Like I want to have a women I can call a wife with children a good job you know hell writing this makes me emotional I hate this feeling I wish my life came back to normal I wish my ex girlfriend never left me this sucks
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- 5y
You should be thankful you had a girlfriend before ocd. I never got the chance to pursue a girl properly and now this ocd is making my life a living hell.?????????
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- 5y
Is this the ocd doing this ???
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- 5y
All I know is that HOCD is also defined as the doubt disease I know it’s mental it’s not real but it’s annoying scary and I hate it don’t like the feeling it’s not me it doesn’t feel like me I wish my life would go back to normal like it did a month ago before all of this hit
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- 5y
Accept the thoughts and do erp, if u do this good without reassurance then it will be over in 2-20 weeks I think. I depends on your mental strength ??
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
So pretty much I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts my entire life, I had no idea could’ve been symptom of OCD until maybe a year ago , I have this fear right now that I don’t actually love my fiancé and I’m not attracted to men. I am attracted to men. Let me be clear. I’m not attracted to females. I never have been and I never will be. But it’s one of the scariest thoughts I’ve ever had that I don’t actually care about the person that I would sacrifice anything for that I would do anything for. He’s pretty much the closest family that I have and I just wanna be with him for the rest of my life. A couple months ago was that I just didn’t care at all, and I didn’t have any feelings and everything that I felt was me being fake in that nothing was real. But I eventually got over that and the new thought is that I’m actually gay even though I know I’m not. And in the world we live in now where it’s be yourself be you if it comes across your mind. That’s the obvious truth. Be yourself… It’s kind of scary to think about. I just want it to leave me alone. I’m actually so scared that eventually I’ll believe it because some thoughts that I’ve learned were intrusive. I ended up starting to believe and it turned into a whole catastrophe for my life. I met this girl and she felt a certain way about her husband and then she told me that eventually I’ll feel that way and ever since then I just I haven’t gotten over this fear that I’m gonna end up feeling the same way she is. Also, I recently got over a few themes. I’m not ready to share, but I’m so proud that I got over those and I just I’m waiting for this one to leave me alone and it’s not and I’m starting to get really scared that it’s true and I don’t want it to be true. and just to be very clear I don’t care who you love what you love who you like what you identify as because you can in fact be yourself but this just doesn’t feel like me. I’m genuinely reaching out to try to get help for this because now it’s messing with our personal life. We’ve never argued so much in our entire relationship and now I realize that it’s mainly my fault because I’m detaching myself from all emotion just so that I can get over this thought I’m detaching myself from all intimacy and that’s even scarier because what if it’s not me detaching myself and it’s me just not being attracted that’s another thought I’ve hadI’ve gone all long enough so thanks.
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- 24w
Im a straight man and sometimes I make the mistake of compulsively getting on here. It’s gotten better but I slip sometimes. I feel like I’m alone in this and I even read on some OCD page that Women are more likely to suffer from this theme than Men. That just makes me feel like I’m in denial of some sort. I feel alone and feel like my intrusive thoughts are different. I know that’s what everyone who has ocd thinks, but I can’t help shake the feeling like what if I’m lying to myself or what if I have some underlying secret. I don’t want to be gay. I find I argue with myself in my head over and over and sometimes by repeating “I don’t want to be gay, I want to be straight” I’ll end up saying the opposite and that would scare me even though I know that It happened because I’m constantly fighting with OCD. Just feeling a bit down today. I had a sexual dream about an ex girlfriend and it felt great and I’m not scared by it. I find and want to be with Women romantically til forever.
- Date posted
- 13w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
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