Hey guys so I had harm ocd for the first time back in 2017 and it lasted till 2019. It was absolute torture. It was so bad I couldn’t stop crying I thought I was going insane. The therapist was trash and just wanted to throw me on meds but I don’t want any meds. The therapist didn’t even specialize in OCD. Somehow it went away and I’m been living a happy life for 9 months till it somehow came back. While I was good I would think about it and be like wow I’m really cured, but it’s back and it’s haunting me and bringing past memories and haunting me back how I used to felt. Now I’m convinced this is gonna stay for years and not go away and I’m gonna end up killing my family on their sleep. Suddenly become violent and listen to the urges. It’s so bad. I just want peace and live life like everyone else. But I can’t anymore. What am I gonna do. I can’t live my 20s peacefully anymore.

Gwalker

Date posted: 5y

Hi Naeun, Sounds rough, know that there is a large community of people who are going through, have been through the same thing (me to). NOCD looks like a good service, I cant access it where I am in NZ, I can really recommend this book https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Harm-OCD-Mindfulness-Unwanted-ebook/dp/B07B92CR9D

catmom

Date posted: 5y

This book is GREAT for Harm OCD, I’ve read it myself & cannot explain how much it helped me. Love love love Jon Hershfield!

john 2018

Date posted: 5y

Have you thought of going back to therapy but with an OCD specialist?

Naeun

Date posted: 5y

Will I ever live a happy life without intrusive thoughts bothering me or what ?

Naeun

Date posted: 5y

I can’t stay w this again like last time I just can’t. Back in 2017 was my darkest fears and I can’t stop

Naeun

Date posted: 5y

It’s hard to go a therapist during corona esp and idk my mind keeps telling me that a therapist will throw me on meds for the easier route

catmom

Date posted: 5y

Hello!! I think we are sort of in the same situation...isn’t it funny how we all think we’re the only ones in the world we who deals with this when in reality there’s an entire community of people experiencing the same thing! 3 years ago was a really bad OCD spell for me, it went away (also had a really bad therapist though), and 3 years later it came back! This time around I decided to see an OCD Specialist & it is one of the best decisions I’ve made. Sure I get anxious spells with my Harm OCD & other subtypes but they generally go away a looottttt faster. I feel like I can cope with it now- for life. You can live peacefully with OCD, so many people do, you are no different! I promise you that ocd treatment helps. Meds do too, but if that’s not your thing, ERP itself has shown to significantly improve people’s quality of life.

Naeun

Date posted: 5y

@catmom ... has reading this book got rid of ur harm ocd completely?

catmom

Date posted: 5y

I think you’re misunderstanding the goal of OCD treatment/recovery. It’s not to get rid of the intrusive thoughts completely- that’s impossible bc even people without OCD get intrusive thoughts. Getting better is when you have an intrusive thought but the anxiety it causes it lessened by a tenfold, it doesn’t cause us to ruminate or stress over it or figure it out for hours or days. It sort of just exists in our heard without ruining our day. That’s the goal. And no, the book itself did not, but it has a lot of tips that helped me & it also helps you understand what you’re going through a lot more which is great! I recommend it greatly :)

Gwalker

Date posted: 5y

The book helped me to better understand the condition and the tricks that ot plays, it has helped with my tool kit for dealing with OCD. My goal is shifting from getting rid of it to accepting it and giving it space in side me. Underneath all of the bullying its actually just a broken Amigdala trying to warn me of dangers that don't exist. It hasn't been easy but I'm making strong recovery. ERP story writing is now boring for me

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