Dear fellow OCD Warriors: I wanted to tell you about a victory I had tonight. I had to repair a bird feeder that a raccoon knocked down. I of course concluded that the raccoon had rabies and that I would get rabies by touching the bird feeder. I’ll admit that I washed my hands more than I should have BUT I did not take a shower (even though I really wanted to)! This win felt really good and it was nice not wasting time taking a shower. Would you please share a victory you had recently?

I did an exposure today. More accidental than purposeful, but that's pretty much how it always is for me 😬 So basically, I had to touch some dirty shoes in order to put them on (or at least dirty in my mind), that I had previously trudged through garbage & used syringes with about a yr ago, like I'm talking a "landfill-level" hoarded house - around June of last year if I remember correctly (me and one other person were cleaning that hoarded room for a payment $100 each, which was originally gonna be $25 but the owner eventually realized/admitted that the conditions were just too awful to be cheap about it. Anyways, I didn't realize just how gross it would be till I got there - bcuz the one-time job advertisement didn't exactly mention the severity, only that it would be an organizing of boxes, so I didn't know just how triggering it was going to be for my OCD. It was unspecified. And at one point I got so nauseated that I had to step outside and I was gagging over the lawn). But ya, I don't think I've used these particular shoes since, not once, and this being literally a year later. I also don't remember ever washing them, just sort of stuffing them to the back of the shoe rack, bcuz when it comes to OCD... "ignorance is bliss" or whatever 😂, avoidance, out of sight out of mind... etc. Well, I chose to take a risk and wear them this morning bcuz they went with my outfit, and I planned to wash my hands when I got home anyway. BUT, what completely slipped my mind is that it was quite windy outside, which meant I was constantly brushing my long hair out of my face, u know... away from my eyes so I could see where I was going 😒, with my now "perceived-to-be-dirty" hands, AND -- i wore some of that dreaded lip balm of which I would normally be grateful for to prevent an equally dreadful case of dry lips, so my hair was also "sticking" to said lips, meaning I was having to move my hair off of my mouth like every 5 minutes - yes, very annoying. And all of this for a yard sale, was it worth it? 😅. Well perhaps, cuz I did buy something. Anyways, I was lightly grazing my face & mouth, not that lightly was gonna help, therefore, even though I did wash my hands upon my return, the transfer of germs would have already happened imo I'm at a point now where I'm basically just telling myself "if I get sick, i get sick" 🤷‍♀️ Cuz there's no compulsion, at least none I can think of, that could possibly undo the potential damage that's already been done (and I'm not asking for ideas LOL) If heaven forbid this does result in sickness, I'll just have to act accordingly by going to the doctors, ppl do it every day... Obviously if I become ill, that will ultimately suck, but like I said, it happens to ppl every day. It's not unheard of * If u guys think I'm in any actual danger - that I've taken on some sort of poison - then sure, tell me, but otherwise I think it's fine * And I feel like what I said before still applies, that if I've taken on board a poison, and start showing symptoms like involuntary/uncontrollable tremoring or something, then unfortunately I'll just have to go to the hospital (of which my city's hospital definitely isn't the best, extensive waits, but ik I'm just spiralling down the rabbit hole now)... this is what ppl do when they're poisoned, no? Go to the hospital? ✅ I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still feeling a little uneasy, but I keep reminding myself of how much time has passed. And most importantly, these converse shoes, even though they were pushed to the back, were still in contact/often touched by my OTHER pairs of shoes in the front. So the cross-contamination has likely already been happening throughout the whole year when wearing my alternative shoes, without my OCD alerting me to it, and without any ailment to me Feeling hopeful 🙏 🙌

I’ve avoided driving majority of my teen years because I got into a head on collision when I was 17. Even before then, I was absolutely terrified of driving. Saying I was terrified is an understatement. I’d literally shake at the thought of anything to do with cars and imagine my body scrunching up with the car metal after getting into an accident. OCD would convince me that I simply cannot trust myself behind the wheel, and that something bad will happen - like I’ll kill my self, someone else, or an animal and I hated it. Needless to say, I genuinley could not bring myself to get started with driving until I was 19, which was a few months ago lol. I got my permit at 17, practiced driving a tiny bit then stopped after the accident I got into. I eventually got the permit renewed a few months ago at 19, then I finally got my license a month after. Now I’m 20, and today I drove myself 45 mins to and from work! I still need to practice more, but holy lord I never thought this day would come. All the years I’d feel embarassed/judge myself have come to an end. Just because I was delayed at doing something doesn’t mean I’m not capable. For anyone who has goals they want to reach and they feel like they’re impossible - they’re not. Fight OCD as best as you can. I hope I can be a symbol of hope for anyone whose struggling

I’m really trying to be better at not washing my hands every second and I proud of myself the days I didn’t give in to compulsions, but today I feel a little defeated. I was getting ready for work and I was trying to cover up a pimple on my face, but I had sunscreen on. I wanted to put a pimple patch so I tunrned around got the paper towel in my bathroom and the towel touched the shower wall. I had a wart 6 months ago and although I didn’t have it on my hand… I did have it on the palm of my foot. I’m almost sure I sprayed Lysol on the wall but I forget because I’m ruminating constantly and my mind likes to play tricks on me. I was also in a rush today for work so that’s triggered the thoughts more. I put more sunscreen on my face to camouflage the pimple patch/ pimple. I’m scared that I contaminated my face . I even looked it up on gpt (which is another compulsion.) it was basically saying the percentage was extremely low. It’s like the answers right there but my mind won’t believe it. And I know you shouldn’t trust everything on google. Too lazy to edit, but a small part I left out was that after touching that part of the towel where I thought is contaminated …. I rolled that part on the floor and broke it off. But then continued to still roll it because the part I touched , had touched the other pieces too. I don’t know if that makes sense. So when I finally had that “just right feeling.” I put the paper towel down , washed my hands again but my hands weren’t as soapy bc it still had the tinted sunscreen on them. Washed my hands more and just got fed up and dried my hands off with the paper towel I still feel is contaminated. Ugh😞. I’ll be honest too after having the wart on my foot, I cleaned the shower in itty bitty sections. I think cleaning the whole thing at once had me overwhelmed and especially the early stages after my wart was gone I didn’t want to clean bc I was nervous I would catch another one. I had used so much Clorox to wipe down where my foot had touched the ground on the shower floor. I don’t think I wiped down the outer perimeter but I’ve recently just sprayed Lysol on the floor . I could be better at cleaning my shower more but it is what it is right now.