- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Great job, David! Even though you still performed a compulsion (washing your hands) in response to your obsessive thoughts, that is a great improvement over having to take a shower. You should be proud of your progress!
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s AMAZING David. Congrats on your success! You inspired me tongiht
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s awesome! I had a victory last night, cooking food at home in a skillet
- Date posted
- 6y
@JJjj the key is to start small. If you were to touch your tire without washing your hands after, that would probably send you into a full blown panic. Take small steps before taking a huge leap. For example, how when David touched the bird feeder, he still washed his hands after, but he did not shower. You need to start with small exposures and work yourself up to potentially touching the tire without washing your hands. Even when you start with the small exposures, you will still feel anxiety, but I promise you it will go away after you continue to expose yourself to your fear.
- Date posted
- 6y
David, the biggest accomplishment so far was to open my car from outside (outside handle). For years I am opening my cars with inner handle- first opening windows with remote and then manually with inner handle. Tire is out of scope for me right now.
- Date posted
- 6y
I posted a quote on here that I thought fit very well with OCD, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” I know right now the exposures feel impossible, but once you actually do it, you will realize it wasn’t actually impossible and you will feel so much better for your accomplishment of facing your fears and no longer letting your OCD control you.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks David. I have to say that it seems really stupid and when my colleagues asked, I simply told them about my OCD.
- Date posted
- 6y
Funny thing was, that later they asked how I managed to do “remote” windows opening. It is hot these days here and sit into car after 8 hours parking outside is like sit into hot oven. Funny how this stupid phobias and OCD let us to find out some unusual and new rituals...that actually help other people to find comfort.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you, everyone, for your support. I love this group! Congrats, Sairwah, on your achievement!
- Date posted
- 6y
David, you fear contamination from animals ? I am asking because when I told somebody about fear getting contaminated - especially about rabies - people does not understand my fear.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi JJjj! Yep, that was exactly the fear I had.
- Date posted
- 6y
Well, I am suffering exactly from this - each and every day I have to sit in my car and drive to work over animals that were hit on the roads. I am always afraid that piece of it could be stuck on my car and suffering from enormous fear that I could get contaminated. Hard to live with that specific phobia and OCD.
- Date posted
- 6y
I know this would be REALLY hard, but if you touched the tire when you got home and didn’t wash your hands, you would be taking a huge step in the road to recovery. The anxiety will go away for you, just like it did for me when I didn’t take a shower. Please let me know if you take on this challenge.
- Date posted
- 6y
Some days ago I have to fix defect on my daughter’s car. On the way to tyre service I ran over “animal doughnut” on the road. Being frustrated and full of fear I saw tyre repairman checking the tyre with his bare hands. Instant panic ! What if he would want to shake hands with me after repair was done ? Imagine me - PURE horror. I am glad he did not want to shake hands with me. So, as you can see, I am a beginner in fight, touching tires is not possible now.
- Date posted
- 6y
JJjj - I think it’s GREAT that you open the car with the outside handle; that’s amazing progress!!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- Date posted
- 19w
I want to beat OCD because I have seen and felt the benefits of clearing my brain from unnecessary, pointless, thoughts. OCD is like 0 calorie food. It’s pointless. No nutrition or benefits come from my obsessions or compulsions. I don’t care to have answers to everything anymore. I catch myself just trying to stress myself out so that I have some worry to feed on. But like I said, it’s a 0 calorie food. I get nothing from it but wasted time and energy. My brain feels more spacious when I’m not consumed by OCD. I’m present. My personality has room to be herself without making space for bullshit. I tell myself now that worry is poison. I think Willie Nelson was the person I got that quote from? Anyways, that imagery of worries being poison for the mind has been transformative for me. I’m evolving. 💖 Thanks NOCD community.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 19w
December 14, 2024, marked two years since my first ERP therapy session with my NOCD therapist, Mixi. And October 2024 marked a year of being free from OCD. It was not an easy journey, confronting my fears face to face. Exposing myself to the images and thoughts my brain kept throwing at me, accepting that I might be the worst mother, that my daughter wouldn’t love me, and that I deserved to be considered a bad person. It was challenging having to say, “Yes, I am those things,” feeling the desire to run, but realizing the thoughts followed me. At the start of my therapy, I remember feeling like I couldn’t do this anymore. Life felt unbearable, and I felt so weak. I longed for a time before the OCD, before the flare-ups, before the anxiety, the daily panic attacks. I thought I’d never be myself again. But I now know that ERP saved my life. The first couple of sessions were tough. I wasn’t fully present. I lied to my therapist about what my actual thoughts were, fearing judgment. I pretended that the exposures were working, but when the sessions ended, I went back to not sleeping, constantly overwhelmed by fear and anxiety. But my therapist never judged me. She made me feel safe to be honest with her. She understood OCD and never faltered in supporting me, even when I admitted I had been lying and still continued my compulsions. My biggest milestone in therapy was being 100% transparent with my therapist. That was when real change began. At first, I started small—simply reading the words that terrified me: "bad mom," "hated," "unloved." Then, I worked on listening to those words while doing dishes—not completely stopping my rumination, but noticing it. Just 15 minutes, my therapist said. It wasn’t easy. At one point, I found myself thinking, “Will I ever feel like myself again?” But I kept pushing through. Slowly, I built tolerance and moved to face-to-face exposures—sitting alone with my daughter, leaning into the thought that my siblings might die, reading articles about my worst fears, and calling myself the things I feared. Each session was challenging, but with time, the thoughts started to lose their grip. By my eleventh session, I started to realize: OCD was here, and it wasn’t going away, but I could keep living my life despite it. I didn’t need to wait for it to be quiet or go away to move on. Slowly, it began to quiet down, and I started to feel like myself again. In fact, I am not my old self anymore—I’m a better version. OCD hasn’t completely disappeared, but it’s quieter now. Most of the time, it doesn’t speak, and when it does, I know how to handle it. The last session with my therapist was emotional. I cried because I was finishing therapy. I remember how, in the beginning, I cried because I thought it was just starting—because I was overwhelmed and terrified. But at the end, I cried because I was sad it was ending. It felt like I had come so far, and part of me wasn’t ready to say goodbye, even though I had already learned so much. It was a bittersweet moment, but I knew I was walking away stronger, equipped with the tools to handle OCD on my own. If I could change anything about my journey, it would be being open and honest from the beginning. It was the key to finding true healing. The transparency, the honesty—it opened the door to lasting change. I’m no longer that person who was stuck in constant panic. I’m someone who has fought and survived, and while OCD still appears from time to time, I know it doesn’t define me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. Have you started therapy, is something holding you back? Is there something you want to know about ERP therapy? I'll be live in the app answering each and every one today from 6-7pm EST. Please drop them below!
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