Question about delayed obsessions. Tonight I did my groceries and wiped them all down (contamination ocd) and washed my hands and arms before heading up to shower. As I dried my arms on the hand towel I was feeling really calm. I debated putting the towel in the wash but I was feing confident and said "nah, just deal with it, Cat". Now three hours later I hate that I have been washing and drying my hands with the same towel and touching my phone. I am working really hard to not sanitize my phone. I'm in bed with it now just trying to sit with it. I plan on just sitting with the discomfort. The towel was used on clean hands and fomites are not the major issue with covid 19. Cdc guidelines and no more. My question is, why was I so confident in the moment but three hours later am having the obsessions? It makes me feel like I have to do compulsions even if I think I'm fine because later i will regret not doing it. What's up with that??

Wow that is such a good analogy!! I'm going to screen shot this and come back to it. I love that! As much as I'm still nervous, this is a great explanation!

@catattak Well think of it as who wouldn’t be nervous during a fight! (Not that I have ever been in one haha but I think we have all seen stuff on TV and movies)

@StefH It's so true! I came back to this post this morning already to re-read your analogy and it helps so much

Such a good point. And now I'm like, "do I trust past me?". I've made the decision to trust past me. I have not sanitized my phone and I will ot be washing my hands for the millionth time before bed. I will just be dealing with it. But I could definitely see it saying put differently if it weren't a towel with clean hands. I sanitized my kitchen and I bet any money, in the morning when it's worse, I will be glaring at my kitchen all morning, walking on egg shells and trying my hardest to tell myself not to sanitize again

@catattak You can do it!!

@Alyosha Thank you so much!!

@catattak You already took a step forward so you got this!!!

I can completely relate. So many of the above comments helped me though. I'm going to stay strong and you will too :)

@catattak I'm trying ?I have to as I'm running out of hand towels

Its perfect

Thank you so much for sharing your relatable experience. You obviously carry on right? It makes me wonder if I should have just tossed the towel in the wash to begin with but I dont want to feed obsessions that arent there yet. Or even ones that arent there at all.

@catattak Honestly, I've been terrible with resisting the compulsions. I have such a hard time just being like, "eh, it is what it is." I am very much not a "it is what it is", let things roll off my back type person. Im really hoping erp will help improve my ability to just deal with the uncertainty and not start the ocd spiral even hours after something happens.

@ans87 I'm usually a "meh" person but never have been when it comes to fears of getting sick. Even before a pandemic, the thought of getting a cold was overwhelming because it meant I might need a sock day or I might not be able to perform my best at work and people would judge me. Literally anything else can roll off my back, but not fears of getting sick.

@catattak That makes sense. I mean, my dad has serious health issues to the point where even a cold could be disastrous so that adds to my already heightened concerns about touching everything. I think part of the reason why my ocd is so severe is because of the fact that not having control over a situation is one of the worst case scenarios for me. So my ocd obviously feeds off of that.

@ans87 Yes I think that's it's for me too. Getting sick means I'm no longer in control. Actually my therapist identified that for me a year or so ago and it's sort of making sense again. If I'm sick, I can only control my performance to an extent. I can take cold pills but ultimately how sick I get is not up to me and the length of time it takes me to get better is also out of my control.

@ans87 I’m in the same boat as you! I hate uncertainty! Not even just OCD uncertainty but even when it comes to making plans or anything I’m not the type of “fly by the seat of your pants” (or whatever the saying is) type of person which makes this all that much harder!