Just a vent but i deal with certain ocd themes and get anxiety over sexual intrusive thoughts But I heard research that it’s possible to have those if you have had any type of trauma and/or abuse in your life and I unfortunately cannot remember my past much so it’s very hazy I usually don’t like my bad thoughts bc they get in the way of my daily live so I can’t rlly dwell so much in the past

I’ve never truly opened up about my story with anyone but I’d like to share with those who may understand.. Since I was 5 years old I have memories of (well I think they are memories although when I recall them, they feel like dreams. So they might have been or they’re just false memories) but I have this memory of engaging in not sexual acts but maybe kissing my older brother or maybe younger. Now it gave me so much anxiety because I had no idea and I still have no idea if it is true or not. That ate me alive for so long. But as a young girl I struggled with very bad anxiety, it was... well I’ve never officially got diagnosed with OCD but I read up on it a few years back and finally felt less alone. I always had intrusive sexual thoughts whether it was about children, family members, even God.. I had no idea what it was and I felt disgusted by it. It was unbearable anxiety. I’ve always struggled with those thoughts and depression and anxiety. But even as an adult, sometimes I may see a photo of my younger brother, who is now growing into a young man, and I get this thought or feeling of thinking he is cute. Which confuses me because I question myself and whether I am secretly attracted to him. Like what if I’m just using OCD as a justification? I’d never engage in any kind of sexual activity with any family member, that just sounds DISGUSTING. But I really am confused. And it makes me wonder. Was I abused as a child? And do I not remember? I don’t know

MY OCD STORY I’d like to tell you guys my ocd story because why it happened is still a mystery to me. I have never dealt with ocd for my life. I only dealt with some thoughts recently that I would worry about and obsess about but...most of my ocd thoughts would be something that my ex boyfriend would say. For example. My ex boyfriend would say things like, “I’d fuck her” about a random girl. Now I get those thoughts and deal with sexual ocd trying to repress those thoughts. Another thing is my ex used to say weird things about girls younger than him. Way younger, and talk about their body and how they’ve changed so much since the last time they’ve he’s seen them. This caused me to struggle with pocd. Anybody have any thoughts about this? I am not trying to blame him but just wonder if someone else had this experience or can explain what more this experience means for me. My therapist calls these traumatic memories, which I then obsess about.

Good morning just wanted to vent a little so the theme I struggled/ still struggling with? I don’t even know if am or if it’s just not as bad or what but the theme I struggle with is Schizophrenia OCD and I’ve just been noticing I’m hyper vigilant of random thoughts ? Like I’ll be reading something on fb or watching tv and a random thought or word will pop into my head that has nothing to do at all with what I’m doing at the moment and also just remembering random memories too that have nothing to do with what I’m currently doing. I noticed it happens way more often when I’m stressed out or anxious. I’m pretty sure yesterday morning I got triggered and that’s when the random thoughts and everything started again. It’s just annoying because now that I know I struggle with that theme so I’m not thinking as often “oh I probably have schizophrenia” but I’m still too focused on the random thoughts and words that pop up and it won’t be anything bad at all actually I’ll just be random words that I heard earlier from like a show or movie or video I was watching. It’s just really annoying and kind of stressful I was just wondering if anyone has gone through this and has any tips ??