- Username
- sonia.i
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Intrusive thoughts that are sexual and inappropriate are very common in OCD and have nothing to do with abuse. Someone might have them and have a history of abuse, but it’s not a prerequisite. Stop digging into your past: that’s a compulsion called mental reviewing. It will only feed your obsession. And it will never get your certainty or help you understand/explain anything. In fact, it will only breed further confusion.
I struggle with mental reviewing almost all the time. So terrible.
Yeah, mental reviewing , checking things from the past, trying to find certainty of past events are compulsions and get you nowhere except more uncertain, in fact in my experience, it led to false memory ocd. When I accept the fear and uncertainty and let it scare me, instead of trying to fight it ,hard as that is, gradually, the fear reduces and it starts to lose its grip. Then a more realistic view begins to emerge.
Thanks for the reply. I know that it just feeds my obsession, but I cant stop! So I'm not only mental reviewing, but then I have to think of whatever im mentally reviewing a certain number of times in the "right way" and if I dont I have to start over. Also, if another thought enters my head, i have to deal with that one, and the one i just was. So if i keep getting a new thought, I'm pretty much stuck in that cycle for a while. It is very hard to explain, but it is absolutely miserable. Also, when i do try to just let the thought be and go one with the day, it is still there in the front of my mind. So I might not he going into all the compulsions of thinking, but it is like it is stuck in my head. So, should I literally just let that attack my brain all day, and that's how eventually I will be able to just let a thought pass through my head? I'm really trying to just understand more about my OCD and what I need to do to not let it defeat me all day long. Any thoughts are much appreciated!
@Melissar3 Yea I didn’t know that was a compulsion you see I unfortunately don’t have enough knowledge on ocd so these new sensations and compulsions are scary and unaware
@Melissar3 Best advice I got is always refocus on ur work when they get to strong
@Melissar3 Stopping all compulsions all day cold turkey will probably be too much too fast if you’re not used to ever resisting them. That’s where some scheduled ERP work can come in! And why it’s important to be gradual. If you normally mentally review for 30 min after a trigger, try reducing it to 15 for a week, then 10, then 5. Then stop. You have the right idea with just letting these thoughts be. That feeling if it still being stuck in your head is totally normal and expected: your OCD is used to getting what it wants (compulsions) and when you resist, it will basically throw a temper tantrum and keep trying to get you to do them. Stop trying to get rid of them and OCD loses its power. It’s tough to stand up to OCD but if we can truly just allow the thoughts to be without wrestling with them, they do eventually drop off. And the more we practice this over time, the easier it gets. When you have this mindset switch, keep in mind that you aren’t going to get relief immediately (that’s why compulsions make us feel so great, they DO work immediately.) it will take time and commitment. Most people require 2-3 months of consistent ERP to see noticeable results and changes to the quality of their lives. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be a lot of little victories along the way to help keep you motivated! Write down a list of reasons why it’s important to resist compulsions (ie, it’s only hurting me in the long run, it’s not actually giving me certainty, I’ve done this a million times before and it’s never helped heal me from ocd, I want to get better for my loved ones, etc) and look to that when you don’t feel strong enough to resist. You can do this!
Same with me. I spent over 40 years trying to think my way through the obsessions, it doesnt work, trying to get the right feeling or having to start all over again, is just making it worse. I completely agree with pureolife. That is how you will recover.
That is such, such helpful information! Very kind of you, I appreciate it. Doing these things, how is your OCD?
It’s about 90% better than it was before I got treatment. It has given me so much of my life back.
I’ve never truly opened up about my story with anyone but I’d like to share with those who may understand.. Since I was 5 years old I have memories of (well I think they are memories although when I recall them, they feel like dreams. So they might have been or they’re just false memories) but I have this memory of engaging in not sexual acts but maybe kissing my older brother or maybe younger. Now it gave me so much anxiety because I had no idea and I still have no idea if it is true or not. That ate me alive for so long. But as a young girl I struggled with very bad anxiety, it was... well I’ve never officially got diagnosed with OCD but I read up on it a few years back and finally felt less alone. I always had intrusive sexual thoughts whether it was about children, family members, even God.. I had no idea what it was and I felt disgusted by it. It was unbearable anxiety. I’ve always struggled with those thoughts and depression and anxiety. But even as an adult, sometimes I may see a photo of my younger brother, who is now growing into a young man, and I get this thought or feeling of thinking he is cute. Which confuses me because I question myself and whether I am secretly attracted to him. Like what if I’m just using OCD as a justification? I’d never engage in any kind of sexual activity with any family member, that just sounds DISGUSTING. But I really am confused. And it makes me wonder. Was I abused as a child? And do I not remember? I don’t know
MY OCD STORY I’d like to tell you guys my ocd story because why it happened is still a mystery to me. I have never dealt with ocd for my life. I only dealt with some thoughts recently that I would worry about and obsess about but...most of my ocd thoughts would be something that my ex boyfriend would say. For example. My ex boyfriend would say things like, “I’d fuck her” about a random girl. Now I get those thoughts and deal with sexual ocd trying to repress those thoughts. Another thing is my ex used to say weird things about girls younger than him. Way younger, and talk about their body and how they’ve changed so much since the last time they’ve he’s seen them. This caused me to struggle with pocd. Anybody have any thoughts about this? I am not trying to blame him but just wonder if someone else had this experience or can explain what more this experience means for me. My therapist calls these traumatic memories, which I then obsess about.
Is it still only ocd when you think/obsess/ruminate over if something traumatic happened TO YOU not by you? Sometimes I get weird groinals or intrusive thoughts near my family members. It makes me wonder and ruminate over if something may have happened and I just can’t remember. Thoughts like, “What if I was abused and can’t remember?” I haven’t had this issue in a while but it came back up because I had a bad dream :( I know dreams are meaningless so I don’t want to ruminate over it but I don’t really know if anyone else has themes directed towards others like this. It’s almost like what if I have PTSD and don’t know it? Please help
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