sonia.i
- Date posted
- 5y
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
Intrusive thoughts that are sexual and inappropriate are very common in OCD and have nothing to do with abuse. Someone might have them and have a history of abuse, but it’s not a prerequisite. Stop digging into your past: that’s a compulsion called mental reviewing. It will only feed your obsession. And it will never get your certainty or help you understand/explain anything. In fact, it will only breed further confusion.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
I struggle with mental reviewing almost all the time. So terrible.
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah, mental reviewing , checking things from the past, trying to find certainty of past events are compulsions and get you nowhere except more uncertain, in fact in my experience, it led to false memory ocd. When I accept the fear and uncertainty and let it scare me, instead of trying to fight it ,hard as that is, gradually, the fear reduces and it starts to lose its grip. Then a more realistic view begins to emerge.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks for the reply. I know that it just feeds my obsession, but I cant stop! So I'm not only mental reviewing, but then I have to think of whatever im mentally reviewing a certain number of times in the "right way" and if I dont I have to start over. Also, if another thought enters my head, i have to deal with that one, and the one i just was. So if i keep getting a new thought, I'm pretty much stuck in that cycle for a while. It is very hard to explain, but it is absolutely miserable. Also, when i do try to just let the thought be and go one with the day, it is still there in the front of my mind. So I might not he going into all the compulsions of thinking, but it is like it is stuck in my head. So, should I literally just let that attack my brain all day, and that's how eventually I will be able to just let a thought pass through my head? I'm really trying to just understand more about my OCD and what I need to do to not let it defeat me all day long. Any thoughts are much appreciated!
sonia.isonia.i
- Date posted
- 5y
@Melissar3 Yea I didn’t know that was a compulsion you see I unfortunately don’t have enough knowledge on ocd so these new sensations and compulsions are scary and unaware
sonia.isonia.i
- Date posted
- 5y
@Melissar3 Best advice I got is always refocus on ur work when they get to strong
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
@Melissar3 Stopping all compulsions all day cold turkey will probably be too much too fast if you’re not used to ever resisting them. That’s where some scheduled ERP work can come in! And why it’s important to be gradual. If you normally mentally review for 30 min after a trigger, try reducing it to 15 for a week, then 10, then 5. Then stop. You have the right idea with just letting these thoughts be. That feeling if it still being stuck in your head is totally normal and expected: your OCD is used to getting what it wants (compulsions) and when you resist, it will basically throw a temper tantrum and keep trying to get you to do them. Stop trying to get rid of them and OCD loses its power. It’s tough to stand up to OCD but if we can truly just allow the thoughts to be without wrestling with them, they do eventually drop off. And the more we practice this over time, the easier it gets. When you have this mindset switch, keep in mind that you aren’t going to get relief immediately (that’s why compulsions make us feel so great, they DO work immediately.) it will take time and commitment. Most people require 2-3 months of consistent ERP to see noticeable results and changes to the quality of their lives. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be a lot of little victories along the way to help keep you motivated! Write down a list of reasons why it’s important to resist compulsions (ie, it’s only hurting me in the long run, it’s not actually giving me certainty, I’ve done this a million times before and it’s never helped heal me from ocd, I want to get better for my loved ones, etc) and look to that when you don’t feel strong enough to resist. You can do this!
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Same with me. I spent over 40 years trying to think my way through the obsessions, it doesnt work, trying to get the right feeling or having to start all over again, is just making it worse. I completely agree with pureolife. That is how you will recover.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
That is such, such helpful information! Very kind of you, I appreciate it. Doing these things, how is your OCD?
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s about 90% better than it was before I got treatment. It has given me so much of my life back.
Related posts
Lulu~
- Date posted
- 24w
False memories + real events (TW: POCD)
Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 23w
Real event false memory ruining enjoyment guilt
Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- OCD newbies
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- False Memory OCD
- Real Events OCD
L0ng16aelak
- Date posted
- 18w
Unsure if I even have OCD
Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond