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- 4y
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I can really relate to you as I am 27 years old and struggle with real ocd mixed with PTSD. This pandemic has made everything so difficult. After college I moved back in with my parents and then lived abroad in Dubai for a year. I have a narcissistic father who is emotionally abusive (once physically abusive to me) and toxic dynamics between my parents and grandma. I have been drinking more in this pandemic because I’m just so fed up being at home. I work from home now but it’s really getting to me mentally. Just know that you aren’t alone ❤️
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That sounds freaking rough too, good Lord. I know this is messed up in it's own way, but I'm glad that we all have this app. OCD, pandemics, and issues with living circumstances can feel isolating and knowing you guys are out there makes me feel more determined to keep whoopin' butt. The app is a Godsend and you guys sharing is moreso.
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- 4y
@Anonymous I am also on the BetterHelp app for therapy. My therapist isn’t an ocd specialist (I had one since I was 14 but she’s way too expensive) and the one I have now was a psych professor and specializes in PTSD. I always have fear of my past coming to haunt me or have random fears like “what if this person secretly recorded me during sex?” (I tried a sugar baby website when I was 23 and just got exploited by 40 year old men and not paid, so I got trauma from that) so I would compulsively check porn sites to make sure my reputation is still fine and I was not secretly recorded. A friend told me alot of girls were doing it and I was in major debt and wanted to get out of my abusive toxic household. So being single and young I said why not. Now I have agoraphobia in my own city (NYC) My narcissistic ex in Dubai (who I found out in the end is married with 2 kids and 43 years old not 33 like he said) would bring up my past and say “how could I marry you”, so it triggered my ocd really bad and I started to check the internet. Now I fear no guy will want me or they will judge me. That’s just an example of what I deal with. But I’ve been learning to sit with the uncertainty of life and exposing myself. I’m hoping to one day go back to dating without fear of rejection after I take the time to work on myself. Sorry for the rant, but you are not alone at all. This app has really helped me a lot.
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@Anxiousgirl I appreciate the rant; it feels good to see real conversation. And I'm also excited to have less fear. My biggest hope with relationship fear is that I can have that fear and not feel the need to push it away and to have it be less crippling. And goodness. The factors thrown in there sound roooooough, amiga. Good on you for sharing with everyone and I'm wishing you mondo luck from the states. 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
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@Anxiousgirl Awesome! And yeah, I've looked for support groups a bit and will be asking my therapist for any recommendations/leads she has on that. It'll be great when those groups'll be in person, but I'm fine getting digital suggestions from her too.
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@Anonymous Was that you i just added on IG? If so, nice to meet u! Yeah, I’m sure there’s groups over zoom right now. I would definitely ask or google.
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Thanks so much for sharing, it really does feel good to not be alone and I hope this app and the methods help us to feel more hopeful and see improvements 🙏💕
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@Anonymous i agree I'm glad you guys commented it feels good to know people wanted to respond and have seen improvements this is helping me feel connected
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@Anxiousgirl Yep, I added you afterwards!
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Dude, that sounds rough. My words of hope would be that ocd's, living circumstances and other complications have been rough as hell on me, and after just the orientation meeting and first education session, I feel much more eager and motivated. You're circumstances seem really tough and I can't say they're exactly the same. What I can say is that my own left me feeling hopeless and I know see this working out. Also, chat in app! It feels good to not be alone when dealing with the shame and fear of intrusive thoughts.
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Thanks for the words of encouragement 🙏 it helps :)
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Also fyi I plan on never smoking weed again after how horrible this past experience was.
Related posts
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- 25w
Hi I kept seeing this app on repeat on TikTok over and over and I thought I give it a shot. I have never been diagnosed with OCD but I know that I have it. I’m a young adult and I found out the first time I had OCD was watching lelelons truth video? I was 14 at the time She had to resist sitting back down in a chair after her having sat down she started having a mental break down when she was told to resist. That’s when I knew. It started with myself going up and down a staircase twice buckling unbuckling my seat belt everytime I’m in the car ect I have always been super anti social but trying my best I can socialize but my mind wants to make it sexual with family and friends ughhhh I hate it because that’s not me when I graduated thoughts of hurting my loved ones corrupted my mind I broke down outside of church one time asking if this was really me or not i question if I’m a good enough friend or person in this world to begin with thinking everyone is judging me so so close how can I make this situation better did I do something wrong I struggle with depression as well not to bad but it’s there I come from a loving family but broken as well i believe in god and my OCD makes me go often he’s not real that stuff isn’t real no one is there to save you the list goes on. Anyway I struggle a lot and I really hope that this will help me because I feel extremely hopeless. Lucky for me I do have the ability to seek therapy and I am excited. The only person I ever tell my thoughts to is God no other human has heard so I’m really really hoping this helps me out if your reading this thank you it means a lot because this is my first time ever admitting all this it’s a lot to take in I know and I hope you are ok and that you have a great night and know that we got this
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- 19w
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
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- 10w
Hi, I’m new to the app as of today. I’m 20 years old, and wanted to get some stuff off my chest about the types of OCD I’ve been experiencing over the years. I’m not entirely sure how or when my OCD was brought up, but I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Anywhere and everywhere I go, if I see things placed in an order/angle that my brain doesn’t approve of, next thing I know I’m “fixing” it to be in the placement I feel looks better. I’m not aware of why I feel the need to do that, but until an object is in the “right” placement, I won’t take my eyes off of it. My eye will even twitch. Another form of OCD I have is in relationships. I spend each day overthinking and over-analyzing every one of the relationships that are important to me. Friends, family, significant other. Another one is what’s considered “Pure OCD” . When I get an intrusive thought of something devilish, whether it’s randomly seeing my great aunt naked bc my grandma considers her “fat” even though she’s not, or it’s seeing something demonic and traumatizing, I immediately tell myself, “I don’t wanna see/think about that” over and over and over until the thought is gone. Or I’ll try to replace one mental image with another. One other form of OCD I face every day, is religion. I got baptized for the first time in my life earlier this year in January. I had finally started to repent for my sins, and now I’m constantly feeling afraid that I’m letting God down due to my depression/lack of motivation and vaping/smoking. I also fear excessively that He’ll banish me from His kingdom, or just turn a cold shoulder. I know that what I’ve just typed up is probably all over the place. That is my brain unfortunately. How do you go from being a mentally disorderly and seemingly erratic young woman, to a more well-established, successful woman? I’m all ears!
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