- Username
- DavidS
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I love this explanation! Thank you!
This helped me so much
Really helpful info. Thank you.
"pain should be confronted to be defeated" I like that. I need to hear this today.
This is spot-on. If you were an alcoholic, you wouldn't continue to give yourself alcohol (i.e., perform compulsions). Resist and see the change :)
Did you recover from OCD? You seem to have such a accurate perspective on this disorder.
I just started my process. I had OCD most of my life, but was very comfortable with it, the recent world situation and personal issues got my subconscious mind to scare me so much, I had no choice but to change. I did all I could to learn and connect dots from all sources I found. I still keep on connecting the dots. Mind Over Matter. đ¤
When you mention a lack of self love, this video popped up in my mind. I do agree that, at least for me, this might have happened due to a lack of self love. But your addiction analysis, having an addictive personality myself, seems to be a very plausible theory on ocd mechanisms. https://youtu.be/Q9yKaI0vLJs
Hi, Lack of sufficient self love, is a common feature and repeating pattern for the great majority of anxiety conditions, which OCD is part of, so we are all here coming from the same place. All humans need to feel good, when it doesnt come naturaly by ourselves, we give this power over us to either a certain external factor, behaviour, or drug, to do it for us. Thats why addiction and OCD are usually cooccuring. They stem from the same root, the need to be loved, to feel good about ourselves.
It does make a lot of sense. I knownit wont happen overnight, but when I do try to be kind and love myself, Im immediately flooded with guilt or intrusive thoughts.
@luchalysol Happens to me to, and many others. Thats the subsconscious part of us sabotaging. Thats why we keep at it, until this door is unlocked. I think if we trace to the roots of addictions and OCD, both stem from insufficient self love. Kind of explaining why some peole get easily addicted to drugs and alcohol and others don't. All humans need to feel good, when it doesnt come naturaly by ourselves, we give this power over us to either a certain external factor, behaviour, or drug, to do it for us. Thats why I believe perhaps that OCD is not only about recovery, but rather acquiring a new mindset for a lifetime of correct and healthy self management, practicing everyday self love and relaxation.
@DavidS I can see that. Ive always had somewhat of a fear of being a bad person. But it skyrocketed when I had what I now believe was an onset of cleanliness ocd. I was worried about having bad breath, almost suddenly, brushed my teeth multiple times a day. I started avoiding people because of it. I then became so insecure that I developed an aloofness and superiority complex to mask my insecurities which then led to me realizing I was wrong, feeling guilty and horrible. And now I have harm, moral, responsibility ocd, manifesting mostly as pure o.
@luchalysol This is where the trap is. Guilt, shame, and thinking we are bad people is exactly where the subconscious mind pulls us towards- the Compulsion. The Reaction (Your part) to the Action (Subconscious mind/Unsolicited/Cravings/Obssessions). Determine you are not playing this game. You do not perform any Reaction thought feeling nor behaviour based on the on the Action of the subcondcious mind. You know way better how to feel happy and relaxed. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.madeofmillions.com/ocd/pure-ocd/amp
I am glad this approach makes sense. I find it somehow simplifying the recovery and explaining how both challanges 'addiction' and 'ocd' are more similar than not. As Yoda said: one must unlearn what they have learned đ¤
I donât agree at all. I am sorry but thatâs not what I feel. How can you be so sure? Like you beat OCD comparing it to a drug knowing that thousands of people are still trying to figure out a way out of it and trying to better understand its mechanisms. OCD is such a difficult and multifaceted problem that we need to be open mind. Imagine just for a second your theory doesnât hold up. It means you stuck in a world where you have zero chances to overcome your OCD because the way you see it is wrong. But of course u free to believe whatever u believe itâs true.
Nothing in what I wrote changes the approaches currently offered, but perhaps it will help find new approaches. Have you noticed how drug addicts that went through rehabe tend to mention how many days, weeks, months, years they are drug-free? What they actually say is, yes they do get thoughts, but they don't act upon it. Same here, yes thoughts can come unsolicited but what counts is our response, or actually lack of it.
@DavidS Iâm a recovering addict and totally agree with you
@Kat2244 Prop to you for recovering from an addiction. That must take a lot of strength and dedication.
@Kat2244 Thank you Kat2244 I hope it will help gain new coping skills for recovery, and maybe one day the scientific communities will find new ways to assist.
Is ocd just a coping mechanism for resisting feelings you donât like? Something has occurred to me in my recovery process. Iâve spent years fighting my feelings and thoughts. I tried everything - meditation, yoga, Cbt, somatic experiencing, Ativan. I wanted to escape the pain I felt and the anxiety and bad thoughts. Now that I think about it, my dad turned to alcohol for that and maybe I turned to OCD. I always had general anxiety as a kid, some depression too. Over the years, my anxiety attacks and panic attacks decreased, however my ocd has gotten completely out of control. The last few weeks Iâve been working on exposures to anxiety and my thoughts. Itâs horrible stuff because I have to let myself just feel the anxiety attack and all of the horrible sensations (including derealization!). Just ride it out and let it do itâs thing. However I noticed that when I get anxious these days if I just let it do itâs thing itâll peak and come down after some time. And I actually feel some relief afterwards. It feels very natural. The old me would try to squash it using Compulsion strategies to escape that feeling. Has anyone else encountered the notion that OCD might be a coping mechanism for dealing with difficult feelings you donât like?
FOR ALL WITH SEXUAL OBSESSIONS: Iâve noticed that most of the people on here struggle with intrusive sexual thoughts that cause a lot of distress, in fact, more than I ever expected to see. I myself have a lot of experience in this area, as Iâve been a sex addict for almost 15 years (Iâm 25 now). Iâve actually never had sex; Iâm addicted to masturbation. Iâm writing this post to get my experience out there and maybe provide some perspective for those who can relate. Now, the difference with me is that my sexual behavior is NOT actually caused by OCD. I am actually a chronic sex addict with a paraphilic disorder. My sexual fantasies are centered around control and domination of people I find attractive. I donât fantasize about hurting anyone, but I still donât like the fantasy because we as humans are not meant to be dominated. We were created as equals. Anyway, Iâve noticed that some of you think you have a sex/porn addiction because of obsessive sexual thoughts, even if you donât act out on them. So Iâm going to write down some of the major components of addiction that make my behaviors addictive as opposed to simply being caused by OCD or another disorder. If you are questioning whether or not you are a sex/porn addict, ask yourself the following questions: 1.) Do the fantasies prompt me to act out sexually (e.g. masturbate, call a hooker or prostitute, etc.) and do I gain pleasure/gratification from acting out? 2.) Do I feel intense shame and guilt after I act out, which prompts even more acting out to escape those negative emotions? 3.) In general, do I sexually act out to escape from reality and/or any negative emotions and distress Iâm feeling? 4.) Do I continue to act out even though I and the people around me donât want me to act out? Have I tried stopping before on multiple occasions without any success? 5.) Do I continue to act out in spite of SEVERE negative consequences? Examples of such consequences might be legal consequences, dropping out of school, losing a job, or destroying interpersonal relationships. For example, I have dropped out of grad school twice and got fired from my part time job due to inappropriate behavior and yet Iâm still continuing to sexually act out. Thatâs how I know Iâm a full blown addict and not just someone who struggles with sexual thoughts due to OCD. 6.) Did I experience any sort of trauma(s) as a child that could have shaped my present-day sexual behavior? Having experienced trauma as a child is a huge component for addiction. For example, I had a very rigid and overbearing stepmom for most of my childhood, which probably influenced my present day sexual fantasy about domination and control. If you canât relate to at least 2 or 3 of these items, then you are probably NOT a sex/porn addict. I relate to ALL 6 of these criteria, personally. Now that doesnât mean you shouldnât seek help if you feel like your sexual behavior is out of control. Such thoughts/habits can always morph into addiction. So if you catch it early, do something about it then instead of later! I only wrote this post because Iâm perceiving that a lot of people on here are very quick to label themselves as an addict, when really this type of addiction is very different than what someone with OCD sexual thoughts experiences. Like, OCD sexual thoughts usually cause distress ONLY. My sexual fantasies also bring me pleasure at the same time. Thatâs the main difference. I hope this helps. Let me know if you have anymore questions or want to talk.
What has led you to believe that OCD is the source of truth? Or it could be that you cannot distinguish between what are thoughts and what are OCD thoughts. A normal thought considered significant becomes a compulsion especially when you attach meaning and get anxious about it. What OCD is doing in your brain is searching for threats when there are none. Trying not to have a thought is like pushing a baloon into the water in the hope that the balloon will sink, but it will come up and you know it's hopeless. That's how it's with OCD. I get that everybody is afraid to do ERP because I don't know how to emphasze this enough, it's really scary to do ERP. It's not easy. It's not supposed to be easy. If it was easy, we as a community wouldn't exist, nor OCD specialists. Because it would have been easy, and we would have gone on with our lives simply because it was easy. It's hard to do ERP. But it's worth it. And those people who still think they can't do ERP. They can instead actually try "Do nothing" about the intrusive thoughts thing. We are already exposed to intrusive thoughts whether we consciously do it or not in the case of ERP. But take the opportunity and use those intrusive thoughts as exposure and change our response around it. Sometimes I sound like I don't have OCD. And I know that. I suffer from OCD just like you do. I suffer from Pure O, Magical thinking, and superstitious numbers, and the list can go on. Even as I am writing this, my OCD is like erase that sentence and think about something positive or else something bad will happen. So what have I done then? Nothing. How do I feel? Terrible! And the distress is too uncomfortable. But this way I know, I am starving OCD. And then it tries its best to change and attack other things that I value and love. But once you decide and tell yourself with courage that, I can candle anything that OCD throws at me, that's when you claim power back from OCD. OCD knows your limit of tolerance. So it always try to go higher than that. Try not to outsmart OCD. Because you can't. What you can do is sit in the discomfort and do nothing about your thoughts and compulsions. I always say this and I will say it again, it sounds so easy. But when it comes to doing, we are all back to doing compulsions, and neutralizing thoughts. Somehow it just doesn't work. Why? Because deep inside all of us we have the what ifs, and they have us fight and flight response which makes the thoughts, urges feel so real. Except, it's not dangerous at all. So an alternative to the ERP is "Do nothing". And it's not something new, nor do I take credit of inventing it. No. Most of us are tired of OCD. We need to get tired of the default responses we have for the compulsions and replace them with nothing. We can try. Stay Safe. Awais Bahar
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