- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I've been where you're at. It can get better. If you see a therapist and feel you're misdiagnosed, you can always find another one. If you consider medication, it can potentially relieve some symptoms enough to help therapy along. There is hope. If you feel in crisis mode at anytime, please consider calling a suicide line. Your life is worth living and it can get better. If you're in the US and want that phone number, please let me know and I can give it to you
- Date posted
- 4y
I could’ve written this myself
- Date posted
- 4y
My brain comes up with a lot of stuff and I almost always react to it as if it were valid or real. It very confusing. Sometimes I feel almost entirely convinced that my obsessions are what I want, and then eventually I get out of it feeling very confused about what just happened to my mind. I honestly feel like I’m eventually going to become completely consumed by this mess in my mind and that I’ll never get out of it. I’m dealing with this every waking moment of my life, I’m scared the only way to get better is just to do whatever my mind tells me to. I can’t stop the constant analysis about EVERYTHING. I only want to think about this and figure it all out. I just can’t bring myself to think about anything else, my mind has just become so addicted to this mess and it’s my fault for not getting help the second the first thing started.
- Date posted
- 4y
Try not to blame yourself. Ive done that too, thinking oh if u just had gotten help a long time ago X,Y, and Z never would've happened. But what you can try to remember is now. Now is the only time you can start, you can't change the past so remembering that that regret isn't helpful is key. I've experienced everything you're describing and have slowly but surely been getting better, so there is hope
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
- Date posted
- 15w
I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.
- Date posted
- 11w
I hate the way ocd has completely messed up my brain, I struggle to tell the difference between an intrusive though and a regular one, I have really bad issues with morality and I feel as if my brain can no longer tell what is and isn't right and I can't tell if I'm over reacting about situations and I end up feeling stuck in a loop of wondering if I'm a bad person and trying to look at a situation rationally and not knowing if that's even possible with the state of my mind, I feel like none of my thoughts are actually mine. I hate it and I wish I could feel in control of my thoughts even for just a day, just to know what it's like. I've had ocd symptoms since I was about 9-10 so i feel like I've never really know a life without it. I just wish I could live out my teenage years like anyone else my age. I can hardly engage with my hobbies and passions and I don't know what to do about it. I can't go to therapy or get medication because I'm not even diagnosed, I just feel trapped. I'm only a teenager, like I said, I don't want to live my entire life like this.
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