I think I’m at a point where I can no longer be helped. My thoughts seem too convincing, I can’t talk to anyone in my life about them. I feel like I’m going to be stuck with this mindset for the rest of life and I’m just going to continue to get crazier. I’m too afraid to interact with people irl because I’m afraid they’ll notice something is up, or that I’ll get thoughts. Almost my whole life is being consumed by these thoughts, I noticed a lot of things that used to keep track of in my day to day life I’ve completely forgot about. I’m worried if I see a therapist I’ll get misdiagnosed and only get worse. Everytime I try to remind myself of old morals my mind tells me that I was only being brainwashed and that I’m trying to brainwash myself again. It feels like I don’t even want to go back to my old life, it feels like I only want to follow these thoughts and see where they lead me and it sucks that I predicted all of this would happen. That my mind would come up with more unwanted stuff and I’d forget about everything I’ve ever cared about and become lost in confusion. I think I’d rather see someone in person than online, but I’m not sure about the therapists in my area or if they’ve ever even seen anything like what I’m going through. I don’t even know if it’s ocd anymore, but I really wish I could get out of this. It feels like I’m getting worse everyday even though I know it’s just all in my head and I need to let it go and focus on real life but I can’t stop worrying about what’s in my mind and what happening to me and what’s going to happen.

"Pure" OCD

kshoemaker625

Date posted: 5y

I've been where you're at. It can get better. If you see a therapist and feel you're misdiagnosed, you can always find another one. If you consider medication, it can potentially relieve some symptoms enough to help therapy along. There is hope. If you feel in crisis mode at anytime, please consider calling a suicide line. Your life is worth living and it can get better. If you're in the US and want that phone number, please let me know and I can give it to you

Freemeofocd

Date posted: 5y

I could’ve written this myself

Scribble

Date posted: 5y

My brain comes up with a lot of stuff and I almost always react to it as if it were valid or real. It very confusing. Sometimes I feel almost entirely convinced that my obsessions are what I want, and then eventually I get out of it feeling very confused about what just happened to my mind. I honestly feel like I’m eventually going to become completely consumed by this mess in my mind and that I’ll never get out of it. I’m dealing with this every waking moment of my life, I’m scared the only way to get better is just to do whatever my mind tells me to. I can’t stop the constant analysis about EVERYTHING. I only want to think about this and figure it all out. I just can’t bring myself to think about anything else, my mind has just become so addicted to this mess and it’s my fault for not getting help the second the first thing started.

kshoemaker625

Date posted: 5y

Try not to blame yourself. Ive done that too, thinking oh if u just had gotten help a long time ago X,Y, and Z never would've happened. But what you can try to remember is now. Now is the only time you can start, you can't change the past so remembering that that regret isn't helpful is key. I've experienced everything you're describing and have slowly but surely been getting better, so there is hope

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