- Username
- Sarah26
- Date posted
- 4y ago
The casual use of the term 'OCD' is ridiculously harmful. I am a kitchen designer, and I daily have customers say something like "please can the cupboards line up becuase it will upset my OCD". I have started speaking up about it because I do genuinely hold pin a lot of blame over my delay in diagnosis on this blasé approach, as I have never been particular about symmetry. But I will never speak out about it too much - I usually just say 'i have OCD' to those people, and generally they go sheepish. What I want to say is similar to what you have written! I want to say something along the lines of: "I have OCD too. I get so caught up on hypotheticals that I constantly wrestle with suicidal thoughts. I have a constant court case in my head arguing my guilt over an impossible multitude of different situations, that I often perform checking habits that people notice, and if I can't check, I consider turning myself in or just ending it in order to assume control." It's a struggle, and I appreciate you so much for fighting the fight both with your OCD, and the people that unintentionally disparage it x
Thank you guys! I’m glad I wrote it on there. I asked 2 of my friends what they thought of it before I posted and then said right and now for the anxious wait to see if anyone actually gives a crap 😂 even if I stopped one person from saying it I’d be pleased, I think it related my diagnosis because everyone makes OCD sound like nothing and also very stereotypical so it took me years to figure it out ❤️
I think I will write a fictional story of this one --- I already have an idea. And also tomorrow, I will write a discussion about OCD on my secret blog haha
Yes. (I'm so tired I can think so I just have up and wrote yes I got nothing........good job though mate.) 😊
I love this. ❤️ Also, I can relate. For the most part, this is what OCD looks like for me too.
I am sick of my brother he knows such things when he doesn't. Goodness, he is a stupid asshole
The more I come here, the more I realize that ocd is a scary, weird, f*ed up illness, so I don’t get how organized people claim to have ocd or think it’s a cute or funny quirk. If they only knew how miserable life can be sometimes when you have to deal with an inner voice who’s constantly trying to ruin everything, and constantly making you feel scared to even wake up in the morning or go to sleep at night..
Trigger Warning My theme that I struggle with most is that I am developing schizophrenia. I wanted to share this anecdote with everyone in case someone is dealing with family/friends who do not understand what it is like to have OCD. One of the most effective ways for me to manage my OCD is to use humor to deal with it. Often times I will make jokes about it and recently a family member said, “you like having OCD, if you didn’t, you wouldn’t talk about it so much”. What he does not understand is that on the days I am able to laugh at my OCD I am so grateful because on other days all I want to do is lay in bed and worry about having schizophrenia. I didn’t know how to reply to that in the moment, but I want to say to him now is that the reason I make jokes about it is because some days it feels so real and I spend my day: Keeping track of every car in the rear view mirror to make sure that they are actually there and not hallucinations. Plugging my ears with my fingers to make sure that I am not hearing voices. Telling myself that if I have to carry a tray without dropping it to prove I do not have schizophrenia. Going over in my mind overtime I misspeak to try and figure out if it was just a mistake or if it was because I was going crazy and was speaking nonsense. Being very careful while typing because if I make a mistake it might mean I have schizophrenia. Lying in bed until five in the morning reading about schizophrenia. Thinking that if I can’t fall asleep by a certain time it means that my sleep schedule is being affected by schizophrenia. Trying to not look at any buildings where a person with schizophrenia may be treated. Constantly checking my emotions to see if I have them or if I lost them because I might have schizophrenia. Frantically searching for a sound that I heard to make sure it wasn’t a hallucination. Searching for something I may have seen out of the corner of my eye because it might have been a hallucination. Thinking that every time I have an itch it’s actually a tactile hallucination Spending hours thinking about wanting to die if I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Putting my ear on machinery to make sure that I didn’t think that it was talking to me. Everyday looking up percentages and data and calculating them over and over again to calculate the likelihood that I will develop schizophrenia. Spend my day thinking if I actually am enjoying my activates or if I’m faking it because I actually have schizophrenia. Convincing myself that my food is poisoned because that is what a schizophrenic would think. Going over common schizophrenic delusions and checking to see if I believe them too. I am sure that a lot of people in this group struggle with this theme. Even though a lot of people think that OCD is just washing your hands a lot or organizing, know that I know how you feel and I have gotten through the worst of it.
*me preparing to share with loved ones or friends about my mental illness* *taking a deep breath and being brave* me: “So... I wanted to share something deep with you. I have recently been struggling with OCD.” them: “OH MY GOD ME TOO!!!! I hAtE iT wHeN tHiNgS aRe NoT cLeAn!!!!!!!!!”
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