Anyone have ROCD - centered around your significant others friends / family members? Fear of wanting someone else. :(

It’s horrifying to try and get through these awful thoughts when they’re going on. They come in episodes. Triggers out of nowhere. The family members are the most horrible though in my opinion

Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone! My counselor has been great help. It’s just an obsession nobody can understNd unless you’re going through it ... :(

Yep 100% that’s how I feel.. I mean I’ve gone through the obsessions with people at work, his friends, etc. but gotten over it.. to me the (brother) is the hardest to deal with, as he’s part of his life more significantly. I also am dealing with it with his brother & his brother and I never really even got a long - so that’s what makes it more weird.. However, our brain latches on to our “biggest fears” or what we know goes against what is “morally right.” My triggers come from attractiveness, or someone can say something and it just is triggered, and my mind makes me think I want them instead. It’s so miserable. I’m getting married, it’s been a challenge with my ocd.

It's comforting to know that someone out there is going through something similar :) and that makes sense that this is happening to you. ROCD can happen at anytime but it likes to attack when something big happens like honeymoon phase ending, moving in together...or getting married! So for OCD this is normal :) but I wish I had more advice, honestly this obsession has only happened recently and I'm still trying to figure it out myself. But sometimes what helps me is acceptance, grounding, and sitting with the discomfort. I accept that I'm going to find others attractive and that's okay because it's going to happen. I use a grounding technique to bring me in the present moment. I'll use all my senses to keep me out of my mind and onto what's happening around me. And sometimes I'll sit with my anxiety. This one is hard but sitting with the anxiety and observing it without judgment can be very helpful. The thing is you've got to practice in order to get over it. A few months ago I probably wouldn't have even been able to read your post without freaking out, now I'm okay with these issues because they're normal for someone with OCD. It's my normal :)

Definitely.. thank you so much for the great insight. I wish you all the best! Do your obsessions make you fear you “want them” because you find them attractive?? I always say it’s such a weird feeling, the ROCD.. just a doomful feeling.

Girl...yas, omg it's crazy. TRIGGER WARNING Right now I've discovered that my bf's brother is attractive and it's really thrown me for a loop. But I'm using this app when I can as therapy. Then I tell myself as soon as the thoughts come up, "attraction doesnt mean love." This way I can remind myself just because I find someone else attractive doesn't mean I love them. You can be attracted to someone without loving them. There are different kinds of attraction too! Attraction means an interest or a pull towards something, it doesn't have to be sexual or loving. I can find a lamp attractive lol Hope this helps ??

I totally get that. I try to explain it to people and it can be very confusing for them understand. I'll be sitting there while this is happening and it's difficult to get through but you can do it! Dont give up. Keep telling yourself it's okay :) Also just curious, when you say they are horrible, are they the ones you're semi attracted to? I do the same thing lol his brother is actually an ass but I still find him attractive? This is just my opinion but I believe when this happens it's our brains latching onto a problem even if there isn't one. Like this one time I passed this guy at work that I NEVER thought was attractive but then I noticed he had nice hair and I got so anxious. The funny thing is he wasn't even cute, I was just scared that I thought he was. Lol it's just the OCD brain I guess

Yeah, that's your brain trying to "check in" to see how it feels for someone I think. But it's just another part of having OCD. Another thing too, your brain wants to try to find a problem so it'll ask the same question in a different way.