my ocd is the worst when I get up in the morning. I journal before I go to work and when I’m off but some days the fear worries overtake me before I leave the house and then it takes me forever to leave the house because of the self checking compulsion that has to do with appearance. Does anyone have any strategies or suggestions?

Well we can both support Sid :) I’m baking in the California sun and Sid is going to eat Lobster! Life is unfair!

I experience this too. In fact the last two mornings have been pretty rough and then it just sort of snowballs. Do you wake up with the thoughts or the anxiety first? I try to notice it and say “good morning anxiety I know you are there.” and then I try to keep moving forward. It doesn’t always work though. The days when I don’t have a lot of structure or don’t have to go to work I tend to ruminate and stay stuck in my head. I wonder if waking up with anxiety happens for a lot of OCD sufferers?

I bet it does. Thanks for responding. I am glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. It is much worse like you said when there is no structure when I am not working and free floating anxiety takes hold and I ruminate about things that haven’t even occurred. I think by worrying in advance that I can protect myself from something bad happening but in essence all it does is steal the present time.

@mvp I don’t ever wake up with anxiety, UNLESS I went to bed the night before with it. Do you do relaxing things before going to bed? I feel like the less anxious you are when you go to sleep, the better you will feel when you wake up in the morning.

Pineapple, I think it’s the thoughts that create the anxiety. Once I get into my day I do better, but have trouble resting in general even if I have done a lot during the day. It’s like I keep telling myself to keep going even when I know my body wants to slow down. Being part of this group is actually helping me.

Hang in there Sid (and I’m sure Pineapple will reply!). You’re strong enough to accept the uncertainty! It’s hard, I know - but there is no alternative, because uncertainty exists whether we want it or not. I often find that focusing on the positive reasons to accept uncertainty help (for example, the great trip you’re taking). I have a script for accepting my uncertainty, that also helps. The anxiety can be brutal at times for sure but even small wins are progress.

I think he meant P, not Pineapple? Lol

@sid in the morning do you think the anxiety comes first or the thoughts? @pineapple, waking up with anxiety has always sort of been the way my anxiety manifests itself. It’s often disappointing for me because I may go to bed pretty relaxed and then wake up with that anxious feeling.

I read something somewhere once about how anxiety was a response to prevent yourself from feeling any future pain. Do you notice a pattern with your morning anxiety? (Other than it’s in mornings?) did something happen the night before? Not enough sleep? Are you dreading something that day? Or you don’t have anything to do on the days you wake up with extra anxiety?

Do you see therapy for ocd?

Right now I am nervous about going on vacation and driving by myself for several hours although I have been doing it for years. I am also obsessing about leAving my dog at the kennel for a week although this is my vets kennel and there are well trained people who will wak him during the day. I am not good at change at all and fear that something bad could happen by going away. I am obsessing over it. I guess I am dreading leaving the dog. I listen to ocd stories regularly and know this thinking doesn’t make sense but it is hard to control sometimes.

Sid, you probably can’t control your thoughts but you can learn to accept the uncertainty involved with leaving your dog or driving alone. Recognize them as obsessive thoughts - yes, something MAY happen to your dog, driving MAY be dangerous - are you willing to accept those uncertainties to be able to go on vacation and enjoy yourself?

I will have to or I won’t go at all. I have to accept the uncertainty to get to my destination and wil

Will drive myself crazy with 2 days left before I leave. I will pray to accept the uncertainty. I have done this numerous times. You would think by now that I could just let it go.

Go for it! Focus on the goal! Where is vacation taking you? What do you have planned there? What made you want to book the trip in the first place?

I am going back home to New England to the beach in Rhode Island where I grew up. I plan on writing, doing some exploring with my camera, going to old haunts and eating lots of seafood. My boyfriend will come mid week and I will take him to Galilee to see the lobster boats. This is where I grew up and there are many great memories. I spent lots of time w my mom there before she died.

Accepting uncertainty is tough! I often refuse ? but that sounds like an amazing trip and if you have your bf with you, even better. Does he know about your ocd/support you with managing it? Shit I love lobster!! I’m jealous ?

No no one knows about it except one of my best friends who moved from here to California and the dr I went to who said I had mild ocd which is not the case.

Pineapple keep writing to me ..you are helping me by supporting me and I really appreciate it.

That trip sounds fun! Except the uncertainty! Do you see therapy for ocd?

I am the same way, and would love to hear more about others experiences.

Hi P and community if this helps anyone then it is worth sharing. Here’s the mind game reality I played on myself before the trip about going and leaving the dog. Luckily I got the encouragement. The truth is the dog was fine and didn’t have any trouble staying at the kennel even for a week. The trip was fabulous and very relaxing. What I realize is that the anticipatory anxiety triggers the ocd. So I’m back and then it looks for something else to hang on to. Now it’s about going back to school and can I do it though I’ve done it so many times before. I think it’s like dr Reid and dr Phillips say it’s a continuous battle and you have to live with the anxiety, have courage and do it anyways even if you are not psychologically available. I realize most of the fears I obsess about never happen.

Hi Sid! Hey that’s awesome that you had a good time on your trip. I also read somewhere that “anxiety is trying to resist future anticipated pain”. So the nature of ocd and anxiety is that yes once you have one situation settled in your mind, another will pop up to make it go wild again. Live with the anxiety and move on with your life despite it. The fears may or may not happen - do not engage with those thoughts!

Hi P, thanks for writing me back. It’s hard not to have anyone to talk to about my anxiety. I am trying to live with the anxiety and move on but some days are better than others.part of my problem is self acceptance and comparing myself to everyone else. It’s always the question of the what if and it’s a downward spiral. I have had a lot of loss in my life and no family living close by. Yesterday I went out with a friend who has all this family living near by where they all help each other and those old feelings came back.what if I get sick and something happens. I have been working hard building myself asupport system but I only have a couple of friends and family who live away who really knowers me. I get in this ocd survival mode that triggers these compulsions I want to be rid of.

The question is how do you not engage with those thoughts when the ocd comes on head strong. I can rationale all I want but I can still stay stuck. Again thx for giving me someone to talk to about this.

I know how that is, I’m really struggling with not engaging with my thoughts right now too! And I also don’t have family nearby and even if I did we don’t have the best relationship. I think even a couple of really good friends in your life is enough - you don’t need loads. I had a situation where I had to go to the hospital b/c of my ocd and I was basically alone in another country and this girl I barely knew came through for me as a friend and visited me and brought me clothes and talked to me. So you never know who will be your angel sometimes. The trick with thoughts I think is not try to rationale your way out of them. Just don’t engage. Observe the thoughts and let them play out but do nothing. Your anxiety will go nuts and that’s where friends and distractions help. Confide in people about your situation. They may surprise you..

Oh and the thought about getting sick “yes you may get gravely ill and be completely alone and die a lonely death” - it’s like the ultimate acceptance statement and sounds harsh AF but it’s actually what we need to tell ourselves to get better and desensitize ourselves to those obsessions. Like b/c I have ROCD mine is “yes my bf may be cheating on me.” It’s awful and I don’t want to think about it AT ALL but sometimes I can and prevent myself from ritualizing (ie blowing up his phone with calls/texts)..sometimes, eh, I suck at it pretty hard. Progress is not linear. But the harsh acceptance statement is important as is the not acting on the fears. Sometimes it’s too strong tho, I agree....!

Hi P , You sound pretty intelligent and self actualized and I really appreciate the fact that you write me back ,give me encouragement and share your thoughts.

Just reading your response helped me to better cope today by trying to not engage and distract myself by focusing on other things. I am trying to live with the anxiety and not react to it just live with it which is difficult for me. It requires a lot of mindfulness on my part because it comes and goes all day. I listened to someone really good from the ocd stories I think her name is dr Kim . She has her own series on anxiety and ocd called the stress less life podcast. I listened to the ones on social anxiety and procrastination which also helped me get through an unstructured day. I ended up accomplishing at least a few things and gave myself permission to rest without getting overly compulsive. Just having a place and someone to write to who understands what it is like to have to fight to stay in the present who doesn’t judge really helps. If I could have willed myself out of this I would have done it a long time ago.