I need your help I really need your help right now. I was masturbating because I wanted to make sure that I get turned on from my boyfriends image but there was always thoughts about children coming up, not even specific images but just the thought of the word. I immediately stopped and thought “No I don’t want to think of this” and after it was gone I kept imagining my boyfriend. Then another thought came up. I did the same as before. This happened a couple of times during masturbation but I always tried to focus on the thought of my boyfriend. Right now I am anxious and afraid because I didn’t stop masturbating completely. I feel like those thoughts could have influenced me during the masturbation

Hey yall, having a tough time. I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts while I self pleasure and it GENUIENLY feels like I enjoy them for whatever reason. And then now about half an hour later it’s like okay it’s a sexual thought but I might not actually like it. Idk I just really hate myself, because I basically genuinely liked it in the moment

I’m a csa survivor which made me develop hypersexuality while actually being a asexual individual. (Where I did CP and talked to groomers and sexted, ect ect) A few months ago I’ve started to heal, but the fact that I’ve seen so many private parts since I was idk, young? I imagine them everywhere, it’s really frustrating and sometimes I also get intrusive thoughts about other kids or my siblings. It’s deeply distributing but I also kind of think of it from a curious kind of aspect which I despise too. Honestly I have a hard time with any kid in underwear, my intrusive thoughts have been ALOT the last months and they’re really really overwhelming. I also easily go into overanalysing them or even trying to figure out more clearer the thoughts to “test myself”. I think, I hope. Idk it’s scary

I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.