I need your help I really need your help right now. I was masturbating because I wanted to make sure that I get turned on from my boyfriends image but there was always thoughts about children coming up, not even specific images but just the thought of the word. I immediately stopped and thought “No I don’t want to think of this” and after it was gone I kept imagining my boyfriend. Then another thought came up. I did the same as before. This happened a couple of times during masturbation but I always tried to focus on the thought of my boyfriend. Right now I am anxious and afraid because I didn’t stop masturbating completely. I feel like those thoughts could have influenced me during the masturbation

Okay so I'm young. A bit young than u might Imagine. Me and my boyfriend where bored and I searched up gay porn js as a joke on google. It was completely blurred. And we where js talking about our truma, and personal stuff while literally just looking at the titles. And I saw a title. A title that has trumstixed me before (I saw the actual video before involving a minor. ) and I clicked on it, still heavily blurred to show my boyfriend the title. And i said baby this really effected me this video. And then I looked below it, same video, blurred. Different title. And I clicked on it to stupidly read the other title. And it FUCKING UNBLURRED. and I SCREAMED saying to my boyfriend if he saw it. And he said no he looked away. And he was so unfazed. And I asked chat gpt about it and it said what I done was NOT okay. Because I looked at child stuff on purpose? My heart has just SANK. self harm urges are back. INTENSE confession compulsions to my mum are back. What do I do. Please someone help.

I was self pleasuring and as I was climaxing already my sister popped into my head and I indulged in it for a second. Then it happened again later where I was already climaxing and jt made me climax harder. And often when I have intrusive thoughts during the actual process, the taboo stuff will start to make the sounds build up and I’ll stop bc I don’t want to get off to it even tho I’m tempted to chase it. But sometimes I’ll let the taboo stuff build it up and when I climax I ONLY focus on the feeling not the thought so it doesn’t count as me getting off to it, but idk if it does or not. Point is, I need HELP!

I (22M) had been...pleasuring myself, and just as I was finishing, I felt like I needed to test myself mentally and a thought popped up (again, solely mentally) and it felt like I enjoyed it for a split second while I was "finishing". I tried to redirect my focus in the moment, and it didn't really work. After, I felt really off-put and worried about what it could mean. I have been extremely fearful of ending up being "that" way. I know false attraction etc. could have played a role, but I've never been officially diagnosed. There had been times I tested myself in my head before (not like in a context like this), and I felt like I had spikes of attraction before feeling offput by it, and I've been really, really worried if I had been in denial. The thoughts that I tested myself with included non-problematic things that I found attractive, so I'm not sure if that affected my reactions all those times, but regardless I had been worried. I also tested myself in my head after waking up almost every day, and it felt like I failed when I did. I tried to not assign meaning to it, and it helped with avoiding spiralling, but again, I don't know if I'm in denial or not. I understand if this is probably, but I was wondering if I could get any insight.