- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh my finally someone I can relate to!! I like can’t let go of things from months ago that he already apologized for but my ocd latches on to how he acted and how he said sorry and wants it a certain way and is like he didn’t really seem that sorry and he didn’t necessarily but stilllll!! I never know if things are in my head or if the relationship is over and he’s a jerk
- Date posted
- 4y
YES OMG ....... i literally relate to this SO HARD. if it’s okay with you, my instagram is urfairiegf i would love to talk to u about this!!
- Date posted
- 4y
@zoya ACAB IM DOWN!
- Date posted
- 4y
100%
- Date posted
- 4y
If your partner does something that’s considered a serious mistake, (for example: cheating or hiding/lying about something they know would hurt you), you should leave. Obsessing over the incident is your brain telling you what to do. You stay because your heart says to. “Serious Mistakes” don’t happen with someone who truly loves/wants to be with you. I held on to a guy who was oh so very sorry many times for different mistakes. He always appeared to be sincere and ashamed while apologizing. I eventually even married him. Wasted 13 years because I allowed myself to foolishly believe things would improve. It was extremely difficult and painful when I left him, but now (almost 2 years since the divorce was finalized) I am finally putting myself first and realize I should have listened to my brain and not my heart. All relationships have problems. All bicker/argue. There is no “perfect” relationship. There is a time to know when to leave though! Don’t waste yourself on someone that doesn’t return your feelings and does unforgivable actions!
- Date posted
- 4y
The thing is, he doesn’t fully show his emotions when he says sorry and so I can never tell and he doesn’t lie and he says he is sorry but I’ve seen him when we were broken up and he sincerely seemed sorry because he would send paragraphs of how sorry he was I mean it was bigger and we were broken up. But he is not a very emotional guy and me having rocd im very very emotional. Sometimes I just wanna feel loved and stuff but I don’t and Idek if that’s a symptom or not. Like I don’t know if it’s in my head or not that he’s not putting effort but I told him my love language and he every now and then compliments me and stuff but never like tells me how he feels about me as if He’s in his feels cuz he isn’t a “phone type of guy” as he told me, he’s more in person and I haven’t seen him for a month. Idk if it’s my ocd playing tricks on me. I just don’t know how to forgive him for past mistakes until he actually seems sorry so I’m waiting it out to see him again.
- Date posted
- 4y
this triggered me really badly. i purposely left out the serious mistake bc it wasn’t as bad as cheating or lying. he called me a name that was rude (for the first time, this wasn’t repeat behavior) and then told me it was a serious mistake and would never happen again. his way of apologizing to me is acknowledging what he did wrong and then promising to never do it again, which is exactly what he does. there are no “should”’s in a relationship (excluding the obvious like abuse). no offense but telling me to “listen to my brain” isn’t very smart considering i have ocd.......please put a tw next time.
- Date posted
- 4y
Please put a 'tw' before posting something like this. All relationships are different and some issues due to rocd are just that. You have to resolve the ocd before you can make that kind of distinction.
- Date posted
- 4y
This comment does cause a lot of anxiety because it is different with rocd, it’s hard to see the trueness of your relationship so to leave isn’t the best advice
- Date posted
- 4y
Don't give relationship advice to someone you don't know. I know you're just trying to help but this is not helpful on an app about the disorder that is proclaimed the "doubting disorder".
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m 30 years old and have been diagnosed with numerous OCDs including ROCD. My years of struggling to leave my relationship was because it was hard to see the trueness. I wouldn’t listen to anyone and I always defended him. I posted my comment hoping to help someone not make the same mistake I did. Sorry for being honest about it. Everyone’s relationship is different but there’s never reason to harm someone you love by what you do. I said to leave if the problem was unforgivable, not just leave no matter what.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to diss your feelings because they matter. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I am hoping it is my rocd but I haven’t seen him for a month and I am hoping that he works on it and maybe once I do erp for once, that i can see clearly.
- Date posted
- 4y
And the guy I was with didn’t show emotions often either but would act very genuine when telling me sorry...every time... Just hoping others don’t allow a repeat offender to cause the pain I endured.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
i’m anxious because after my boyfriend and i got in a argument i was “daydreaming” or thinking about what it would be like dating someone else who was more “right for me” and what if i was excited about that possibility like i had already moved on from my boyfriend. but when i really think about it i don’t want to be without him and don’t want to picture us breaking up. i know i love him but those other thoughts scared me and im now questioning if they mean im falling out of love with him. and if that’s the case i feel like i need to confess that. but at the same time these thoughts could be ocd because the “daydreaming” started after we had been getting in arguments a lot and then i kept seeing other couples interact online and i compare my relationship to that. but then when i think about my own relationship i have everything i want and am being treated how i want to be treated. i’m just scared that because i have had those thoughts about being with someone else that i need to break up him because our relationship is tainted now and i need to start over and do everything perfectly. i think these thoughts are triggered my us fighting and him not fully understanding my rocd and me looking at relationships where the boyfriend understands the girlfriends ocd and supports her and wanting my relationship to me more like that. which logically i know doesn’t mean we have to break up and i need to start over. i can just bring up this issue and communicate what i want and how i want to be supported. i just feel like i need to confess all these thoughts and that i “daydreamed” about being with someone else (no one in particular) and how im now focused on his flaws in comparison to couples online.
- Date posted
- 21w
So i had really bad pure ocd but recently it’s been sooo much better but i’m in a relationship and me and my bf dated before about 2 years ago then we broke up and now we are back together but i’m having an issue where i will try to go back years and find something i did wrong and i really do not want to find anything to feel wrong about or guilty specifically something i may have done wrong to my boyfriend but the thing is i’m a good girlfriend and i’m very loyal so i don’t want to ruin something for me because of my past if that makes sense like i can’t remember doing anything wrong but my brain keeps going are u sure let’s look at all your interactions with people and it’s so annoying i just wanna live my life in the present does anyone have any tips
- Date posted
- 19w
Recently my bf wanted to confess to a comment he made to his friends that always bothered him that he said this and it was literally within the first week we had met. (It’s sweet that he wanted to apologize for it, he even teared up bc he knew it would hurt my feelings) He told his friends that I was “super pretty but that he also thinks these girls on tiktok are hot” (girls with piercings and dark makeup, basically alt/ goth looking). Then he said “I just think that look is attractive.” He said the only reason he brought it up was bc he was on tiktok when he was talking to his friends (on discord) and a girl popped up on his FYP and made him think what he finds more attractive. Then his friends wanted to see pictures of me and everyone agreed I was pretty. Then like 3 days later he was talking to his friends again (they only ever talk through discord bc they don’t live in the same city) and was basically just raving about me and how pretty I am. Then his friends said “what about the tiktok girls and what you said” and then my bf said “I was trippin”. This is making my ocd so bad bc I kept ruminating if I should add it to the list of reasons why we need to break up or if this was my “sign” to end it. But then I also get reminded of the positive, like when he told me the first time he saw me he thought I was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, and has even reassured me by showing me messages of him talking to his best friend about me (also the same week of us first talking) and told him that I was “actually perfect” and “INSANELY pretty”. I try not to be upset at him since this was when we barely knew each other and his type back then was more emo/alt girls at the time and I look different. But I have spiraled so much about it bc I don’t want him to settle for me. He’s tried reassuring me so many times that he was always very attracted to me and never thought anyone was prettier than me, he said just in that brief moment that look still caught his eye but that it went away super fast. He also tried explaining to me that “hot” doesn’t mean “better” or even “prettier” just that the look itself is what he used to describe as hot. He said “hot” is also a casual thing to say, especially to guy friends. Whereas to me, hot means the BEST looking. Sometimes I want him to admit that he was just not that attracted to me in the beginning/more attracted to tiktok girls in the beginning bc it makes more sense to me LOL but that’s just me being annoying and I get very bothered when someone tries to sugar coat things rather than telling me the harsh truth. I think this may be another common thing in ocd, like just WANTING him to tell me the worst case scenario bc it’s more logical to me that way. He ends up crying with me bc of how sad he feels that I have such low self esteem from it and also is so frustrated that I won’t believe him, even though he was honest enough to want to share this with me. Sometimes I think he is playing two truths and a lie to make his explanations more believable. Am I making him out to be a villain who always wants to manipulate me or is this just an instinct I have when I feel that someone is not telling me the truth. We’ve had other problems with him not wanting to be brutally honest bc of how I react so it always scares me that he is always telling me a fabricated story. I also am starting to feel embarrassed for myself and for him being with me. I wish someone could just tell me if the things he’s done or said are deal beakers
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