- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh my finally someone I can relate to!! I like can’t let go of things from months ago that he already apologized for but my ocd latches on to how he acted and how he said sorry and wants it a certain way and is like he didn’t really seem that sorry and he didn’t necessarily but stilllll!! I never know if things are in my head or if the relationship is over and he’s a jerk
- Date posted
- 4y
YES OMG ....... i literally relate to this SO HARD. if it’s okay with you, my instagram is urfairiegf i would love to talk to u about this!!
- Date posted
- 4y
@zoya ACAB IM DOWN!
- Date posted
- 4y
100%
- Date posted
- 4y
If your partner does something that’s considered a serious mistake, (for example: cheating or hiding/lying about something they know would hurt you), you should leave. Obsessing over the incident is your brain telling you what to do. You stay because your heart says to. “Serious Mistakes” don’t happen with someone who truly loves/wants to be with you. I held on to a guy who was oh so very sorry many times for different mistakes. He always appeared to be sincere and ashamed while apologizing. I eventually even married him. Wasted 13 years because I allowed myself to foolishly believe things would improve. It was extremely difficult and painful when I left him, but now (almost 2 years since the divorce was finalized) I am finally putting myself first and realize I should have listened to my brain and not my heart. All relationships have problems. All bicker/argue. There is no “perfect” relationship. There is a time to know when to leave though! Don’t waste yourself on someone that doesn’t return your feelings and does unforgivable actions!
- Date posted
- 4y
The thing is, he doesn’t fully show his emotions when he says sorry and so I can never tell and he doesn’t lie and he says he is sorry but I’ve seen him when we were broken up and he sincerely seemed sorry because he would send paragraphs of how sorry he was I mean it was bigger and we were broken up. But he is not a very emotional guy and me having rocd im very very emotional. Sometimes I just wanna feel loved and stuff but I don’t and Idek if that’s a symptom or not. Like I don’t know if it’s in my head or not that he’s not putting effort but I told him my love language and he every now and then compliments me and stuff but never like tells me how he feels about me as if He’s in his feels cuz he isn’t a “phone type of guy” as he told me, he’s more in person and I haven’t seen him for a month. Idk if it’s my ocd playing tricks on me. I just don’t know how to forgive him for past mistakes until he actually seems sorry so I’m waiting it out to see him again.
- Date posted
- 4y
this triggered me really badly. i purposely left out the serious mistake bc it wasn’t as bad as cheating or lying. he called me a name that was rude (for the first time, this wasn’t repeat behavior) and then told me it was a serious mistake and would never happen again. his way of apologizing to me is acknowledging what he did wrong and then promising to never do it again, which is exactly what he does. there are no “should”’s in a relationship (excluding the obvious like abuse). no offense but telling me to “listen to my brain” isn’t very smart considering i have ocd.......please put a tw next time.
- Date posted
- 4y
Please put a 'tw' before posting something like this. All relationships are different and some issues due to rocd are just that. You have to resolve the ocd before you can make that kind of distinction.
- Date posted
- 4y
This comment does cause a lot of anxiety because it is different with rocd, it’s hard to see the trueness of your relationship so to leave isn’t the best advice
- Date posted
- 4y
Don't give relationship advice to someone you don't know. I know you're just trying to help but this is not helpful on an app about the disorder that is proclaimed the "doubting disorder".
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m 30 years old and have been diagnosed with numerous OCDs including ROCD. My years of struggling to leave my relationship was because it was hard to see the trueness. I wouldn’t listen to anyone and I always defended him. I posted my comment hoping to help someone not make the same mistake I did. Sorry for being honest about it. Everyone’s relationship is different but there’s never reason to harm someone you love by what you do. I said to leave if the problem was unforgivable, not just leave no matter what.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to diss your feelings because they matter. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I am hoping it is my rocd but I haven’t seen him for a month and I am hoping that he works on it and maybe once I do erp for once, that i can see clearly.
- Date posted
- 4y
And the guy I was with didn’t show emotions often either but would act very genuine when telling me sorry...every time... Just hoping others don’t allow a repeat offender to cause the pain I endured.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
He kissed a girl while we were unofficial but a day after he said I love you . I felt we were exclusive based off of things. He acted out of unofficial vs official. Thought because we were single it was ok and if he knew it would have hurt me he wouldn’t have did it he said it was silly meaningless kiss and he wanted nothing with this person. I know he’s telling the truth because he would have lied to me about it but he didn’t . Unfortunately I found out 7 months into the relationship plus he has “no type” and is attracted to women I never ever thought he would be and I think it’s really disgusting . Even in my last relationship I felt this way. So before enter ing this one I told myself no cheating or ones that like these women and here I am …. He didn’t “cheat” but it feels like it. I have been spinning and crying and anxious for over a year now. After I found out I would rotate between that , the women and a transparency thing for a whole year every single day. Asking friends for advice , talking to him , crying , texting all day, even googling . Now I started chat gpt for advice. Whenever I hear it’s ocd I feel relieved but don’t believe it and when I hear it’s wrong relationship I cry uncontrollably and don’t want to believe that either I left him 2 months ago but I’m still in the same position because I love him so much I know he’s a great guy , he tried so hard to make me feel comfortable and he loved me so much but I couldn’t stop spinning . I want to get ba k with him but just picture anxiety forever and questioning am I in love , am I settling , am I forcing this , is this ocd or wrong relationship , could I be happier elsewhere , I can’t see him without feeling anxiety or seeing the kiss but then i can’t picture myself ever loving someone again like him . Our love and connection was so strong . I feel in another relationship as soon as something happens I’m going to want to leave and truly regret leaving my ex . What do I do. I’m starting erp but it’s so confusing to me and I feel like it won’t help and I’m going to be stuck like this forever. I hate waking up everyday because I’m so sad and miserable. Please help me (edited)
- Date posted
- 17w
Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.
- Date posted
- 13w
I’m currently in a very emotionally stressful situation with my partner. We had a huge argument because I did something I had promised not to do again: I looked at my ex-partner’s profile. To me, it didn’t have any real emotional meaning. It was impulsive, meaningless, almost automatic. But my partner was deeply hurt – and I understand why. I told him about it. We talked. It was hard. But after that, things got even worse for me. I suddenly remembered that it didn’t just happen once. And since then, I’ve been stuck in this thought loop and I don’t know if it’s OCD or not So, should I tell him that it was more than once?”– if I should tell him, even if it might mean he’ll leave me. Should I confess this? I urgently need advice. I don’t know if this is OCD or not – the thought suddenly came to me in that situation. I have been formally diagnosed with OCD. But if I know that my partner would see this as very serious and might possibly leave me over it – shouldn’t I still tell him? I feel so awful and I’m having panic attacks. Is this OCD?
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