I'm usually searching threads trying to help folks with their vastly different OCD issues. But now I'm having some issues and would like some support. I'm a 42 year old man. I have had OCD since I was a kid. Most of my symptoms are internal intrusive thinking and then repeatedly saying phrases in my head to counter the thoughts. A few years ago I began slowly tapering off of my benzos and started trying to deal with the anxiety myself. It's been a tough road but I have myself down to a very low dose now. The problem I have now is I have a spell about 3 times a year where things get difficult. I start thinking I have dealt with this for long enough. It has affected my marriage, lost me precious time with my kids and now I'm starting to have issues with being anxious around my own family. I stutter when talking and feel like a total idiot. I don't know how to stay calm without the benzos. After so many years im getting so tired of dealing with this. The doctor raised my SsRI recently, probably a month ago. It really hasn't helped much.

I understand i was on benzos when I needed them. I stop taking them and allowed the exposures to things I fear help me. The brain eventually gets accustomed to the thoughts from exposure exercises and doesn't see it has a threat. It does take time but it is possible. Keep pressing forward man you got this. There are some good books on harm ocd as I have this theme too.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling right now. I used to take benzos too and tapering off was very difficult. If you’re still tapering down, that’s probably a big source of the issue. Each decrease feels like hell. And that may be why your ssri feels like it isn’t helping much. You may want to consider trying a different ssri. Especially if you haven’t found it particularly helpful in general. Also: are you seeing an ocd specialist? While meds can sort of “take the edge off,” the best real treatment is CBT with erp by an ocd specialist. Learning to stop neutralizing your thoughts (which is a compulsion) and practicing managing your fear through erp could help lessen the thoughts and your anxiety overall. You may also want to add a daily mindfulness practice into the works. It can help you stay present and learn to let the thoughts pass by without getting caught up in them.

I see a normal psychiatrist. I have seen them for many years and I know alot of the general techniques that your talking about. Most of the time I do fairly well. But about fall time every year I normally hit a bad patch where I have to work much harder to deal with the symptoms. It seems to follow the changing of the seasons. My psyc seems to think I may have some S.A.D going on as well. I started on 15 myself of diazepam 2 years ago and I'm down to 1/4 of a 2 mg tablet 3 times a day. So 1 1/2 mg a day. Not much at all. I know this will pass. Im just tired after all these years of dealing with it.

Mg not myself lol!

The hardest thing for me. Is my family has never understood. I hate the term "I'm a little OCD". People have no clue what real OCD is.

Getting my stubborn wife to go to something like that would be impossible. She already knows everything. You can't tell her anything, she thinks she knows whats up. She has never really got it!