This isn’t ocd related but I would really like some help. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about two and a half years and I have some problems. -She never texts back and says it’s cause of her ADHD (I do believe her) but this is a problem because I need to just talk to someone through the day -I am always the one who has to make plans -I always compliment her always call her a beautiful angel all that stuff but she rarely compliments me -I just don’t think I am getting the appreciation I deserve -I know she loves me but I feel like I love her a lot more Overall I love her and I want to marry her but I just don’t know what to do. It’s depressing to stay in a relationship where it feels so one sided. Idk if we should take a break or what but it’s just hard. If anyone has any advice about relationships at all please tell me.

I've been in an on and off (mostly on) relationship for a little over 4 years. During this time my ocd and anxiety have been pretty consistent until the last year-ish. During the last year it's slowly gotten better and I have made great strides. I'm doing better than ever with minor flare ups, but nothing compared to before when ocd and anxiety ruled my mind. I was in counseling for a while last year (my counselor had to drop his clients for another job, I'll probably be back in counseling eventually but im not in a rush because I'm doing a lot better than when I started therapy) and that helped. Research about ocd has helped me. Most of all a strong will to get better has helped me most. One thing that I struggle with is that my girlfriend is my main trigger now. I don't have rocd and I don't obsess on her. Her carelessness (in reference to how careful I am in daily life), her kind of lack of common sense, her over emotional tendencies (I know females are naturally more emotional), the fact that she's so mean on her period that there's really no excuse, she treats me like a crush she's known for 2 weeks instead of her boyfriend of years, and she has a bit of a temper although she never crosses the line into abuse. All these things give me anxiety and bring back my intrusive thoughts. When she's gone they go back to a manageable place. When she's around or about to come around it is like a time bomb of ocd and anxiety. Most women I've dated (pretty much all casual except the woman I'm with now) have brought similar feelings out in me. I like living my daily life alone. I'm not sure if it's my girlfriend or just the fact that I'm in a relationship with another person regardless of who that person is triggers my ocd and anxiety. I'm a high twenties male dating a female that's my age. Sometimes I feel like I have no right to want to be treated differently since my ocd and anxiety are not easy to deal with, so dealing with other people's issues is just a fair trade? Idk. I'd really appreciate some input on my situation. Please feel free to comment your true thoughts. I'm not a sensitive person so realism is best for me.

Hi, I wanted to make a post because I honestly feel really alone. This is going to be long, but please bear with me and let me know if you relate or have any advice. I’m currently dating quite possibly the best guy I’ve ever met. And by FAR the best guy I’ve ever dated. We have such a strong connection and it’s my first healthy, non toxic relationship. He treats me with so much understanding, respect and kindess. But heres the thing. I have truly terrible ADHD, OCD, Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, Panic Disorder and depression. And more specifically I’ve come to realize- ROCD. I constantly have thoughts about him not wanting me, lying to me, cheating on me, etc. I’ve seen a lot of posts about having ROCD where you doubt wanting to be with the other person- but I know with everything in me I want to be with this man. What I obsess about is him leaving me. I have constant anxiety, espescially since my PTSD kicked in about a year ago. Whenever I’m physically with him, I feel incredible. I literally do not get anxiety, and if I do its considerably less harmful- and hes there to hold me and comfort me. I have trouble eating because of my anxiety, but with him that’s never the case. We’ll have a great time- but the second I leave I begin to doubt how he feels. Whether he’s with another girl. Whether it’s too good to be true. Wondering when hes going to leave. These thoughts cycle and cycle in my head in a manner that is so all-consuming I can hardly focus on anything else. If I text him and I don’t get a text back I immediately assumt the worse. I thought at the beginning it was just because we hadn’t made it official, and when we did these feeljngs would do away. But then he made it official. And they didn’t. And then I thought when it got more serious they would go away. But then he told me he was falling in love with me( I felt the same). If anything, it made it worse. I told myself when he told me he was really in love it would get better. He did. We said I love you, and still. Constant worry. He’s not a great texter or caller, but I expressed to him how much I need communication and how much it bothers me when he doesn’t respond- and he apologized (WITHOUT getting defensive) and said that he would work on it. And he HAS. But still. It’s a cycle. The anxiety waiting for a text, the dopamine rush when I get it, respond, then wait and it starts again until he responds. Then again. It’s a vicious cycle and it’s tearing me apart. We’re open with each other- so everytime I get a thought I bring it up to him for reassurance. I explained to him that I’ve been hurt so badly before. The last time I was in love/my first love- was a narcissist who took my virginity by raping me and i stayed with him for a year and a half after that until it got to be too much physical and emotional abuse and he then fucked my best friend. Told everyone I was pathological when I tried to warn people about him. Every guy I’ve started to care about since then has lead me on or used me, and the less attention they gave me the more I needed it and the more I prioritized them. My dad was a narcissist who gave me love then would dissapear, or come back and I would have to take care of him as he was depressed and suicidal (I was 4) and to this day relies so heavily on me that when I don’t respond to him he says hes going to kill himself. I understand that I have severe abandonment issues, as well as trauma, and that I most definitely have an anxious attachment style. I’ve been trying so hard for the past two years to heal myself, but now its all the more important because I can tell that even though hes patient, it hurts him that I don’t feel secure, that I don’t seem like I trust him. I said that as time goes on and I get to knkw him more it’ll get easier, but I’m terrified that may not be the case. I’m so worried that I’m going to ruin this thing, that it will be a self fulfilling prophecy and that I’m missing out on this honeymoon phase, on being happy because I’m constantly worried about when it will be taken from me. I’m in therapy and we tlak about this a lot and I know it stems from my low self esteem and people-pleasing tendencies, but it doesn’t really seem to be helping all that much. Can anyone relate? Does anyone have advice?

i'm scared I don't have OCD, I used to be 50/50 about it but now I just keep doubting I do. The reason i'm scared is because I can't feel anything for my girlfriend anymore, sometimes I do and want to love up on her but other times I just feel unnatracted to her and don't feel anything for her. This is taking a tole on the both of us, she cries alot because she knows what i'm going through but it's also hurting her. I also sometimes (not very often) think about breaking up with her or being with someone else and it scares me because I want to love her and only her and only be with her. I'm afraid I should break up with her but I really don't want to. Whenever she compliments me I get uncomfortable, sometimes whenever she says I love you I hesitate to say it because I feel kind of guilty and I can't really feel anything. She picks up on all of these things which makes it even harder to really hide. i know I shouldn't hide it but she's the crying type and I upset her too much already with all of this. Someone please tell me they can relate or that it's OCD, can someone please help me?