This isn’t ocd related but I would really like some help. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about two and a half years and I have some problems. -She never texts back and says it’s cause of her ADHD (I do believe her) but this is a problem because I need to just talk to someone through the day -I am always the one who has to make plans -I always compliment her always call her a beautiful angel all that stuff but she rarely compliments me -I just don’t think I am getting the appreciation I deserve -I know she loves me but I feel like I love her a lot more Overall I love her and I want to marry her but I just don’t know what to do. It’s depressing to stay in a relationship where it feels so one sided. Idk if we should take a break or what but it’s just hard. If anyone has any advice about relationships at all please tell me.

If you’ve brought this up repeatedly and nothing has changed, it’s likely not going to. She doesn’t want to do the things you want her to (for whatever reason), even if it would mean a lot to you. First and foremost you have to accept that to move forward. Second is that it sounds like you are very much a “words of affirmation” love language style. Perhaps she has a different style. Maybe she even wishes you used her language more as well. Does she exhibit other styles like acts of service? Perhaps you just aren’t hearing her love language the way she feels comfortable expressing it. Third I do see a bit of a boundary issue here. She doesn’t want to talk to someone via text all day and you feel you NEED to. If you have an anxious attachment style and she has an avoidant one, you could be simply overwhelming her with affection and constant contact, when she actually wants and needs more independence and space. If she never has a chance to miss you or feel separate from you, she likely won’t feel or express that sense of appreciation you so crave.

I’ve been in this position many times before. My partner is not very affectionate and used to have a hard time with what I asked as well. What I did in turn was that I became 100% honest with him, and told him that if he does not meet my needs, we will have to take a break or end our relationship. It’s terrifying and not fun, but I was tired of asking so often. The issue was that I never gave him the time and space to grow and show me the love I wanted to be shown, and that he didn’t understand how serious it was to me to feel appreciated. In the end he took it seriously and worked on it slowly, it was bumpy because he wasn’t used to it. The key to fixing problems is time and patience, and the communication of urgency about the issue. I know you can do this and I know you guys will be fine, and hey, if you end up taking a break that is perfectly okay and normal. My boyfriend and I have been on two breaks and have been dating just a bit longer than you :). It’s normal and doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong, relationships can just be a lot of work and sometimes we need to make time for our own self love and individuality. And maybe a break isn’t what you need either! Maybe it’s just some space while she learns to fix these issues that you have presented. Needless to say I hope it goes well and if you need to chat about this, please feel free to reach out:)

Talk to her and tell her how you feel and ask her what's going on

If she's not willing to make changes then maybe it's not worth your effort either

^^^ this is very important too. I was very much so like the poster in terms of needing to talk all the time while my boyfriend is more avoidant. In turn I didn’t allow him to miss me or want me as much as he wanted to because I was always anxiously loving him. It took me a couple months to realize this and move around it, because realistically loving through anxiety is a cope for the inside. It really benefited my relationship to take a step back from wanting to always be around him, always want to text etc. and allowed me to learn a healthy attachment style that helped my relationship flourish.