- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
And if I didn’t tell her every single thought I would feel like she didn’t have enough info to determine if I was a bad person so if I forgot something I would call her back in my room to finish the thought then ask “so now that I’ve told you the whole story, now do you think I’m a bad person?”. I have a psychiatrist that I’m seeing but you know how that’s mainly just for quick med checks. She was the one who told me that the ecstasy didn’t create this problem but just brought it out
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh my gosh... you literally sound like me.. I did that exact thing where if I didn’t tell my mom then I would feel this tremendous guilt that I was lying to her, or hiding stuff away from her. It’s so weird to actually hear that someone felt and did the same things as you... I’m glad you’re seeing someone because that’s your best bet to get better. I just started seeing a therapist today and I’m going to see my psychiatrist tomorrow because I just feel SOOO anxious and depressed lately...:/ just know you’re not alone
- Date posted
- 4y
@Animallover065 I feel like that when i dont tell her things now and i have to tell her everything and she has to pay full attention or i start again and i tell her every detail and its annoying and if i dont i stress out like mad and i annoy most people by doing it
- Date posted
- 4y
I smoked a joint on vacation back in September with my guy. Holy damn... My anxiety and rOCD went crazy. It was like panic attack number two. Intrusive thoughts were on over drive. And they were ridiculous thoughts! I knew they were but they felt so real. I also thought I'd never come out of that high. I was freaking out. The interesting thing is is that I've never had anxiety from weed before- but i also barely smoke. It's like once in a blue moon. And now... I will say- I will never smoke a joint ever again (sadly). It was a terrible time. I hated every second of it. I never wanna go back to that. I think it was the THC compound that really set off anxiety and ocd.
- Date posted
- 4y
I was freaking out for 4-6 straight days. Dudes.... It was a nightmare. CBD ftw
- Date posted
- 4y
ive never done ecstasy but i smoked weed recreationally from like 22 until recently im now 28 and in the past few years i used weed to like help with unwinding at home after stressful days at work then i was using it to help me fall asleep when i had more stress going on and i believe ive had ocd since i was at least 12 but didnt realize it and it would come in waves but yeah my life got very stressful and depressing this year and weed stopped calming me down and started making me more anxious until one time the next day i woke up and had anxiety attacks all day and that continued on and off for like three days until i went to patient first and got something to regulate me and it was non stop intrusive thoughts like i couldnt turn my thoughts off if i tried i couldnt sleep i couldnt eat it was bad and scary and thats what actually got me to get diagnosed so i definitely think drugs can make people with anxiety or ocd and other things like that worse its just weird that id never had that experience before with weed and now im never going to smoke again ive had bad ocd moments since then not caused by weed but i do think that smoking like intensified everything anyway hope that helps also there is an episode of the ocd stories podicast where they talk about someone whose ocd started after getting high once and his theme became obsessing over how do you know if youve become psychotic or "lost your mind" his fear was he was going crazy and didnt know it all from that one experience and that its actually pretty normal hopefully i can find the episode for you
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes please if you find it, send it! I cannot handle weed! It gives me the weirdest thoughts and major anxiety. That is weird that you went all that time smoking without those symptoms. Did your doctor say anything about that? I had done ecstasy a handful of times prior to this occasion but I think this time I just did too much cause it was so much more intense this time. I think it’s safe to say I do not handle drugs well and I am staying far away from them now!
- Date posted
- 4y
@Kingston4 yes i mean im not sure why that time it happened but i had bad events in my life happen before i smoked and i think instead of easing my anxiety it made it worse ... couldve been the strain or couldve been that my life hasnt been this stressful until recently ocd can be episodic for some people and get worse at different times my therapist never examined that she actually didnt care too much about the weed i mentioned it in my first appointment then we did diagnostics and mainly focused on themes and doing my erps which was probably for the best because it might not be helpful for my therapist to help me over analyze why something happened when i do that too much anyway lol but yeah when i find the episode ill post it here
- Date posted
- 4y
@Kingston4 lol and i feel the same way about drugs now too
- Date posted
- 4y
@Kingston4 the podcast is called "the ocd stories" and its episode 211 called John Grayson and Bob Cianfrone - the fear of going crazy ... hope it helps :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymously Thank you!
- Date posted
- 4y
I did the SAME thing in 3rd grade... I would tell my mom everything I was thinking or that crossed my mind because I felt so distraught over these thoughts... All my life I have delt with similar thoughts like yours, I would have obsessions over things. I’m actually 20 and I completely understand. I’ve never tried drugs, so I’m not sure. Are you seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist??
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I’ve always had OCD, and for most of my life it was little things that seemed manageable at the time or something that would phase out of my head within a couple days/weeks/months. But, the older I got the more severe it became, I’d find myself collapsing deeper and deeper within my own head trying to out think the thoughts that bothered me. About a year ago I had a thought that rattled me to my core. My brothers and I were watching a movie in our mother’s room when my youngest brother turned to me to say something. His close proximity to me triggered a fleeting sexually explicit image in my head and that thought caused me to spiral. Asking questions like, “are you attracted to your minor brother? Are you attracted to minors? Are you gay? Etc.” a couple days went by and my mental stability continued to crumble until I broke down to my mother, she was understanding and we found a a psychiatrist. I got on medication and for a while everything was slowly but surely trending in a positive direction. The thoughts would still pop into my head but they were becoming more manageable. As we all know OCD and mental illness comes in waves. Currently my OCD has been pretty severe. I feel those intrusive thoughts latching on in my head and it’s been very hard to kick them. It’s gotten to the point where I find myself being uncomfortable being in close proximity with my little brother because I feel as though I am capable of harming him in any way. And the more uncomfortable I become being around him the more I find myself lashing out in anger towards the people I care about the most. Those moments of anger cause me to spiral even farther as my head fills with ideas like “what if you are capable of hurting someone or even murdering them?” There’s times where these thoughts rattle me so much that I feel like it would be better to be in prison where I couldn’t harm someone or that even being dead would be a better solution than possibly running the risk of hurting someone in my life I care about. This is about the jist of it, a majority of the OCD I have is centered around the idea that I am capable of harming my little brother physically, mentally, sexually. It’s been exhausting and it feels like there is no end in sight.
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m new to treatment and only realized I have OCD a few months ago. I went through a tough and abusive marriage and ended up getting divorced. I had my first panic attack several years ago and ended up needing to go on Lexapro. This helped me significantly and allowed me to leave my partner. Several years later and I decided to stop Lexapro because I thought I was good to go. I’m in a very healthy relationship, have a great job, friends/family, go to the gym and have a wonderful life. It’s been about a year off the meds and I’ve had some panic, but I’ve been able to manage it. For some reason, the last three weeks has been really difficult for me. I have different spirals and different thought processes: what if I’m schizophrenic? What if I have a deeper mental disorder? What if I hurt someone? What if I need to leave my partner? What if I end up becoming so depressed that I end up hurting myself? My brain just goes from one what if to the next and once I conquer one, the next one pops up with even more intensity. I started taking NAC and inositol and I’m taking saffron during the day because I really don’t wanna go on back on medication but sometimes my thoughts scare me and I’m convinced that I’m not gonna get better and I know that’s just the OCD loop, but I’m wondering if this resonates with anyone else!
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
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