- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Mafero - thank you so much for responding with such a thoughtful response. I really and truly appreciate it. It is good know I am not alone. I do apologize for my late reply; my anxiety and depression have been extremely high lately and my OCD symptoms have worsened. I am interested in a NOCD therapist as I am currently without a therapist right now, but unfortunately my insurance does not cover it. I hope you are doing well and thank you again for reaching out.
- Date posted
- 4y
I also suffer from contamination ocd and it got worse this year due to covid.
- Date posted
- 4y
I suffer from contamination OCD, as well. I would recommend getting a therapist through NOCD. I am wondering if you still have insurance? For me, I was never able to play out therapy in full when I was first diagnosed because it was so financially straining. Now, I’m starting with a NOCD therapist - I just had my intake appointment today!! I loved my old therapist and am happy I have her there to share notes from my past therapy sessions with my new one. So, I ramble. For me, contamination OCD has been a lot about STDs/AIDS, going to the bathroom (specifically, feces), showers , etc. - the fear that I will contaminate everything is definitely there and I’m excited to fight back and kick OCD in the butt through ERP with my therapist. I think COVID makes contamination OCD and therapy a bit tougher because in our minds, it might be hard to reconcile being safe in terms of precautions with COVID and our OCD itself. I think choosing to wash your hands once for 20 seconds only is a good place to start (I still can’t do this after going poop and at other times, but I know I’m going to get there with recovery). If you use too many disinfectant wipes, make a conscious decision not to buy them. I wish I could offer more help here - I also think you need to practice some self-compassion. This is a hard time for everyone...then you add in OCD...then you add in the work issues. Know that you’re not a victim and that you CAN do hard things. Know that not every employer is like your old one...that not every therapist is like your old one. We are here for you as the OCD community and we can fight this creature that looks like a monster and has a huge roar (but is not dangerous and truly pathetic - a bear’s shadow on the wall for a mouse of a creature) together.
- Date posted
- 4y
By the way, my hands are currently cracked and bleeding so please know that you’re not alone. OCD is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but doing ERP and putting in the hard work to fight back is worth it and can help your quality of life. We can do this!!
- Date posted
- 4y
We are here for you! Fight back. Don’t let OCD swallow you whole - YOU determine the script of your life....not it. Maybe you can get a book if you do not have access to a therapist right now?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔
- Date posted
- 22w
Does anyone have any tips that helped them? Mine is due to a specific person and I work with them so it’s been really difficult. I’ve started ERP which has been reaaalllllly challenging and I would love to hear from anyone else that has gone through any type of contamination ocd and how they have overcome or are fighting their way through it. Thank you!l
- Date posted
- 18w
(Long post warning) Hi, I’ve been struggling with severe OCD for six years now. it started in 2019 with my theme being getting sick/emetophobia. it devastated my life. I almost didn’t graduate high school from it. I remember washing my hands for three hours one day until they were nearly bloody while crying and asking why I could not stop doing it. I remember id have to write and rewrite sentences when I did my English homework and that’s why I nearly failed that class. I remember how I would spend up to thirty minutes to an hour pacing the halls of my apartment while my mom was asleep until I neutralized the thoughts about throwing up and I could finally go to bed. I don’t know when it happened, but my theme switched. Sometimes in late 2020 or early 2021, it switched to POCD. It started with a single thought, and I focused on it and it’s been my theme since then for four years. It has been absolutely destroying me. I feel so disgusted and lost and just tired. My compulsions are severe now. I thought they were bad before, but now they’re ten times worse. I can’t eat, drink, change my clothes, walk, or even do things on my phone normally. I’ve developed so many mental compulsions that it’s so intricate and complicated yet at the same time I’ve done them so much that they’ve become normal. An example I have is if im putting on a shirt and I have a “bad” thought, I have to take it off and put it back on two more times (that’ll make it 3 times I put the shirt back on - odd numbers are my safe number). I have to have a good thought on the third time otherwise I have to take it off and put it on two more times to make it five times I put on that shirt. If not that then I just put on a different shirt because the original is now tainted with my bad thought. I can’t open apps on my phone. It’s with the numbers again. If I open TikTok once while having a bad thought - I have to close it and open it two more times and so on. Sometimes I do it up to 30 times. So I just don’t do things usually. I don’t turn on the TV because I know I’ll redo it. I don’t open a book or grab it off my shelf because I’ll have to repeat the action. I can’t even lay in bed without getting up and redoing it even if im exhausted. I just feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do. I feel disgusting and even now my minds screaming at me that I am dirty and what I think is true. I just wish I was free of this, I wish I could just live my life. I’ve wasted hours and days because of my compulsions. I mask it so well around my friends. I don’t do them in front of anyone or I’ve learned to hide it well. But when im back home alone, it goes haywire. I just want to live again.
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