- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Mafero - thank you so much for responding with such a thoughtful response. I really and truly appreciate it. It is good know I am not alone. I do apologize for my late reply; my anxiety and depression have been extremely high lately and my OCD symptoms have worsened. I am interested in a NOCD therapist as I am currently without a therapist right now, but unfortunately my insurance does not cover it. I hope you are doing well and thank you again for reaching out.
- Date posted
- 4y
I also suffer from contamination ocd and it got worse this year due to covid.
- Date posted
- 4y
I suffer from contamination OCD, as well. I would recommend getting a therapist through NOCD. I am wondering if you still have insurance? For me, I was never able to play out therapy in full when I was first diagnosed because it was so financially straining. Now, I’m starting with a NOCD therapist - I just had my intake appointment today!! I loved my old therapist and am happy I have her there to share notes from my past therapy sessions with my new one. So, I ramble. For me, contamination OCD has been a lot about STDs/AIDS, going to the bathroom (specifically, feces), showers , etc. - the fear that I will contaminate everything is definitely there and I’m excited to fight back and kick OCD in the butt through ERP with my therapist. I think COVID makes contamination OCD and therapy a bit tougher because in our minds, it might be hard to reconcile being safe in terms of precautions with COVID and our OCD itself. I think choosing to wash your hands once for 20 seconds only is a good place to start (I still can’t do this after going poop and at other times, but I know I’m going to get there with recovery). If you use too many disinfectant wipes, make a conscious decision not to buy them. I wish I could offer more help here - I also think you need to practice some self-compassion. This is a hard time for everyone...then you add in OCD...then you add in the work issues. Know that you’re not a victim and that you CAN do hard things. Know that not every employer is like your old one...that not every therapist is like your old one. We are here for you as the OCD community and we can fight this creature that looks like a monster and has a huge roar (but is not dangerous and truly pathetic - a bear’s shadow on the wall for a mouse of a creature) together.
- Date posted
- 4y
By the way, my hands are currently cracked and bleeding so please know that you’re not alone. OCD is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but doing ERP and putting in the hard work to fight back is worth it and can help your quality of life. We can do this!!
- Date posted
- 4y
We are here for you! Fight back. Don’t let OCD swallow you whole - YOU determine the script of your life....not it. Maybe you can get a book if you do not have access to a therapist right now?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
(long read ahead, sorry lol) I’ve struggled with ocd for as far back as I can remember. I find that it gets worse with stress, and recently I’ve really been struggling with the contamination aspect of my ocd. I’m worried about it becoming unmanageable and negatively affecting my relationship with my partner. I’ve been living with my boyfriend since January (got kicked out of my house a week after I turned 18, it’s for the better though my house is toxic as hell) and I love living with him, but him and his family aren’t as concerned with cleaning as I am used to. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 2 years and there’s been many times throughout our relationship that his struggle with depression severely impacted his ability to keep up with cleaning his room. This is something I completely understand because I’ve struggled with it too so i’ve often helped him clean, and since i’ve moved in he’s done so much better at keeping up with cleaning (especially because he knows about my issues with clutter, mess, germs, etc.) He is really good at being accommodating towards my needs (not overly so, i’m aware that recovering includes accepting being uncomfortable), but it’s so hard for me to differentiate between what is the normal standard for cleanliness and hygiene and what’s excessive and unhealthy. I get so stressed out every single day over the thought of how dirty everything is. He has 3 cats that mainly stay in his room (he has a catio attached to his window/side of the house) and dogs which stay on the opposite side of the house and backyard, so there is fur everywhere constantly (i’m also allergic to cats but it’s not severe). I can’t stop thinking about how they are getting germs from their litter box all over everything. They also used to piss under his bed and in his closet when his room used to be a mess and it’s soaked into the floor so no matter what it stinks. It’s so hard to bring myself to walk around the house without slippers because my feet will get visibly dirty and my socks would get covered in hair. I always think about how my boyfriend sometimes walks on the rugs in the bathroom in shoes and all the germs that spreads. There’s so many more things but this is already getting long and I am shaking just thinking about how unclean everything is. I want to deep clean the entire house myself so I can get it to where It’s not like psychological torture everyday and it’s easier to maintain but I have been so busy I don’t have the time. I am worried about my boyfriend thinking I don’t like living with him or that I think that’s he’s dirty but i don’t. We have had several conversations about this and he’s reassured me that he knows none of my obsessive thoughts are personal but I still feel so bad about it. I would like to get therapy to help work through this but currently that is not an option for me. I know things will get better once I get through the main things in my life that are causing a lot of stress and therefore making my ocd flair up, but I need advice on what to do in the mean time. I keep having moments where all I can do is shake and cry and clean and I feel bad for my poor boyfriend who can only sit next to me and try to comfort me or help me clean. I also don’t want to make him worried that nothing he does is enough for me (i’ve also already talked to him about this and told him about how I can never even be clean enough for myself and that I don’t think he’s dirty). There’s been many times where I want to tell him to do things that I think might be my own unhealthy compulsions (ex. not wearing shoes in the house or in our room, not getting into bed with socks on, making sure to completely dry off before getting out the shower, put makeup and jewelry back where they belong right after using them, etc.) but i can’t tell if they’re reasonable or not and i try to not tell him unless it’s something that severely distresses me. I’m aware that everything is going to have germs no matter what and have been using NER’s to help manage my thought spirals/rumination. I know that I shouldn’t keep doing compulsions because it just offers temporary relief and makes the problem worse because nothing will ever be enough. I just feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless and exhausted and want some feedback.
- Date posted
- 15w
sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔
- Date posted
- 12w
Does anyone have any tips that helped them? Mine is due to a specific person and I work with them so it’s been really difficult. I’ve started ERP which has been reaaalllllly challenging and I would love to hear from anyone else that has gone through any type of contamination ocd and how they have overcome or are fighting their way through it. Thank you!l
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