- Username
- AlyssaClaire
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Mafero - thank you so much for responding with such a thoughtful response. I really and truly appreciate it. It is good know I am not alone. I do apologize for my late reply; my anxiety and depression have been extremely high lately and my OCD symptoms have worsened. I am interested in a NOCD therapist as I am currently without a therapist right now, but unfortunately my insurance does not cover it. I hope you are doing well and thank you again for reaching out.
I also suffer from contamination ocd and it got worse this year due to covid.
I suffer from contamination OCD, as well. I would recommend getting a therapist through NOCD. I am wondering if you still have insurance? For me, I was never able to play out therapy in full when I was first diagnosed because it was so financially straining. Now, I’m starting with a NOCD therapist - I just had my intake appointment today!! I loved my old therapist and am happy I have her there to share notes from my past therapy sessions with my new one. So, I ramble. For me, contamination OCD has been a lot about STDs/AIDS, going to the bathroom (specifically, feces), showers , etc. - the fear that I will contaminate everything is definitely there and I’m excited to fight back and kick OCD in the butt through ERP with my therapist. I think COVID makes contamination OCD and therapy a bit tougher because in our minds, it might be hard to reconcile being safe in terms of precautions with COVID and our OCD itself. I think choosing to wash your hands once for 20 seconds only is a good place to start (I still can’t do this after going poop and at other times, but I know I’m going to get there with recovery). If you use too many disinfectant wipes, make a conscious decision not to buy them. I wish I could offer more help here - I also think you need to practice some self-compassion. This is a hard time for everyone...then you add in OCD...then you add in the work issues. Know that you’re not a victim and that you CAN do hard things. Know that not every employer is like your old one...that not every therapist is like your old one. We are here for you as the OCD community and we can fight this creature that looks like a monster and has a huge roar (but is not dangerous and truly pathetic - a bear’s shadow on the wall for a mouse of a creature) together.
By the way, my hands are currently cracked and bleeding so please know that you’re not alone. OCD is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but doing ERP and putting in the hard work to fight back is worth it and can help your quality of life. We can do this!!
We are here for you! Fight back. Don’t let OCD swallow you whole - YOU determine the script of your life....not it. Maybe you can get a book if you do not have access to a therapist right now?
Hello, I'm new here. I wanna recover but I feel like I don't know how to do that properly on my own. I have been waiting for treatment for months now, I have received wrong treatment before (from a therapist that encouraged compulsions/reassurance, I developed my contamination OCD because she suggested I would do compulsions to cope with my germophobia actually). I want to connect with people who have recovered if possible, so they can guide me on the right way. I feel like I don't really know what I'm doing. I've tried ERP on my own but I don't know if I am doing it correctly as I do not see progress. I cut one thing out and another gets worse or a new thing pops up. Anyone experienced with this? Is it normal? Anyway thanks for reading and have a nice day!
I’m new to this app and really happy to be within a community of people working through same thing. I have been working through contamination ocd since the start of the pandemic. It’s debilitating mentally. It just wants me to seek certainty in every compulsion and also reassurance and researching online incessantly. Anyone else struggle with this specific ocd? Wiping down doorknobs every time someone touches them. I can’t even sit outside in the grass I’m afraid of the pandemic. I won’t touch my groceries for three days. I miss my old self. I literally feel like a different person since March.
Hey everyone. This is my first post here and it’s probably going to be a long one because I guess I feel comfortable enough to be open here. I need help. When I first got diagnosed with OCD, I figured it only impacted a small part of my life. I thought I was only affected with compulsions and obsessions that dealt with contamination, tangible perfectionism and the obvious intrusive thoughts and that’s it. Well, I’ve come to realize that most of my thinking has been impacted by OCD. At this point the only way to describe how it feels to me is a forest of thorny vines growing in place of my mind or maybe through and around my brain constantly growing every-time I give into this type of thinking (which is basically all the time because I wasn’t aware this was OCD). I’ve definitely felt it more recently, but I know it’s always been there from what I recall from past memories. I got diagnosed not so long ago with OCD and I was happy to because it explained this thing I knew was wrong with me but I didn’t know how much it will and has impacted me in the past. So, I think I’ve created a matrix in my mind or strengthened the OCD thought patterns because now I feel like my OCD impacts everything I do. And I guess I’m saying I need help here because maybe you guys will be able to see it, maybe validate me and point me where I can get help. I’ve been telling the people around me, I think my thinking is disordered and I need help but I don’t think they really understand the amount it’s affecting me or grasp what I meant when I say “I Need Help”. I did have a therapist before but because of a insurance change, she can’t work with me anymore and I’m not sure when I’ll get another (just to clarify). Back to the matter, the past couple of months I’ve been in my head just thinking and thinking. About everything. To the point where my head starts to hurt or until I feel sick of thinking about it but I can’t. I find that’s my obsessions and compulsions (other than the need for order [which can also be mental]) are very mentally based and I find myself ashamed of them so I hide them so maybe that’s why the people around me don’t feel my need for getting help as much as I do. Anyways, examples of this have been, -constantly thinking about what’s the purpose of all of life and the hidden messages in life -feeling like if I don’t do everything perfectly then what the point or being very mad at myself -being obsessed with how I present to the rest of the world sometimes even in close relationships -having calculated movements and actions (having to move my body a certain way or it doesn’t feel right) -obsessing over an absolute truth -questioning friendships and other relationships - obsessing over achievements or failures -obsessing over people -obsessing over decisions and outcomes because I want to make the perfect decisions I could go on and on but basically it’s just a lot of thinking and ruminating and obsessing to the point where people tell me I look like I’m some where else all the time. And I’ve started to feel like I find comfort in it now. I’m also diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I feel like it’s all just OCD. And same goes for my dissociation. I feel like they all root from my OCD. I’m so tired of feeling like this all the time and without my therapist I feel like I’m stuck here. I can’t make decisions, I’m never present, I can’t make or keep friendships/ relationships, everything impacts me deeply because I create a emotional obsession to it, I can’t just be without questioning everything and I’m constantly in my head. I’ve also started getting high all the time because I feel like it’s the only way to escape my brain but I’ve felt like it’s getting out of hand. I’m starting to lose in any type of hope of getting better. Does anyone have an advice for working on OCD by yourself or identifying when it’s OCD (especially mental obsessions and compulsions) so I can start to chip at this boulder that’s weighing down my life and energy?
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