Hi everyone. First time here. I suffer from Contamination OCD. I have a good support group in friends, family, and my boyfriend, but I have not met anyone else with OCD and I needed to reach out to others to find help. I first got OCD when I was 17 (I am now 33) and was able to go into remission, but COVID brought it back. I was struggling at work (which was outside with the public). I found a therapist and she wrote me a doctor’s note suggesting I be allowed to work from home. My work was not accommodating at all and only offered me FMLA leave, so I took it as my only option and eventually got on Short Term Disability. The whole process took forever and was incredibly stressful. My leave was supposed to be a time of healing and it just made my OCD symptoms worse. My employer basically treated me as though I was trying to get out of work and proved to me that though they talk about the importance of mental health, they don’t take mental health seriously. I ended up having to leave my job “involuntarily due to health reasons” as they would not grant an extension nor let me return with any restrictions/accommodations. My therapist seemed good at first, but it became clear that she wasn’t really helping me. She would often use our sessions to vent about the insurance company and in one session, she basically called me a hopeless case and kept saying “I don’t know. I am concerned. I don’t know how you are going to be able to function” and threw out the word hospitalization, though she did backtrack on that one. I struggle everyday. I am worried that something from outside of the home touched something clean and is now contaminated. I need help working through this. I am constantly looking for reassurance, question if things are clean, wash my hands, use too many disinfectant wipes, and take showers upwards of 50-60 mins. I feel like my mind is being taken over by my OCD, I’m losing time, and it’s straining my relationship. For anyone who is struggling with contamination OCD brought on by COVID - any tips? My therapist never gave me anything specific to work on with this - to help me focus on something else. I am in the process of finding another therapist, but until then - any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Mafero - thank you so much for responding with such a thoughtful response. I really and truly appreciate it. It is good know I am not alone. I do apologize for my late reply; my anxiety and depression have been extremely high lately and my OCD symptoms have worsened. I am interested in a NOCD therapist as I am currently without a therapist right now, but unfortunately my insurance does not cover it. I hope you are doing well and thank you again for reaching out.

I also suffer from contamination ocd and it got worse this year due to covid.

I suffer from contamination OCD, as well. I would recommend getting a therapist through NOCD. I am wondering if you still have insurance? For me, I was never able to play out therapy in full when I was first diagnosed because it was so financially straining. Now, I’m starting with a NOCD therapist - I just had my intake appointment today!! I loved my old therapist and am happy I have her there to share notes from my past therapy sessions with my new one. So, I ramble. For me, contamination OCD has been a lot about STDs/AIDS, going to the bathroom (specifically, feces), showers , etc. - the fear that I will contaminate everything is definitely there and I’m excited to fight back and kick OCD in the butt through ERP with my therapist. I think COVID makes contamination OCD and therapy a bit tougher because in our minds, it might be hard to reconcile being safe in terms of precautions with COVID and our OCD itself. I think choosing to wash your hands once for 20 seconds only is a good place to start (I still can’t do this after going poop and at other times, but I know I’m going to get there with recovery). If you use too many disinfectant wipes, make a conscious decision not to buy them. I wish I could offer more help here - I also think you need to practice some self-compassion. This is a hard time for everyone...then you add in OCD...then you add in the work issues. Know that you’re not a victim and that you CAN do hard things. Know that not every employer is like your old one...that not every therapist is like your old one. We are here for you as the OCD community and we can fight this creature that looks like a monster and has a huge roar (but is not dangerous and truly pathetic - a bear’s shadow on the wall for a mouse of a creature) together.

By the way, my hands are currently cracked and bleeding so please know that you’re not alone. OCD is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but doing ERP and putting in the hard work to fight back is worth it and can help your quality of life. We can do this!!

We are here for you! Fight back. Don’t let OCD swallow you whole - YOU determine the script of your life....not it. Maybe you can get a book if you do not have access to a therapist right now?