- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I have had OCD almost my whole life but just began having ROCD mid last year. I have an intrusive thought that I cheated on my boyfriend in the beginning of our relationship. My biggest fear is losing him as I am head over heels in love with him. I get random thoughts and get triggered by random things that make me think I did cheat on him and it can be debilitating. However, my therapist has been helping me through it and my boyfriend is actually aware of my ROCD. He has been supportive too. I still have long ways to go in my recovery but I am trying everyday
- Date posted
- 4y ago
So relatable . Wow thank you !
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I'm going through something similar and I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I think I would remember doing something like this but I can't and the fact that I can't is making me anxious. How is therapy treating this?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@alwaysanxious That does sound similar to what I’m going through. So what my therapist has been using to treat this is ERP. It can be so hard and painful but it’s the only way. She has me think “what if this actually happened” “what if he deserves better” “what if he leaves me” etc. And then not ruminate and sit with the anxiety. I need to do better at this and do it more. But a way I am doing it is when I’m triggered by something random that makes me think I did it, I try not to figure it our and ruminate. I’m doing it right now, and it’s hard and frustrating but it’s the only way. Hope that helped!!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
so my last relationship partially ended bc of my ROCD. my current relationship is a million times better and i’m crazy about my current boyfriend, which just makes it even scarier that my ROCD could start acting up again. every once in a while i’ll get feelings of “why don’t i feel the same way i did at the beginning” or “he said something that slightly annoyed me so i’m unhappy and we should just break up”. but he knows about my thoughts, and he knows how to help me through my worries. it’s a tough thing to bring up because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, but if your partner is open and understanding then that’s honestly the best way to handle it it my opinion. just let them know how you’re feeling, let them know that your feelings are just intrusive and not actually representative of your feelings for them. and by vocalizing that to them it’ll help you as well. hope that makes sense:)
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you so much for sharing. I deicided to share with him . But I’m just so scared of the thoughts and feelings that come with it. I literally was so happy and then the next day I flipped a switch
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hey! :) I can offer some insight. My ROCD began a while ago when my mother (who is diagnosed with BPD) criticized my boyfriend about his neurological condition (it is called CMT, it's a condition that affects his balance but he is otherwise healthy). It sent me spiraling (because overbearing mothers have terrible effects on their children). At the time, I had no clue what ROCD was. But I posted to a subreddit about CMT and wow! I wish I hadn't haha. I was told to break up with him and that I'm a bad, ableist person that should burn in hell lol. The truth was that I had a mental illness. I was scared. I was seeking reassurance. All of this fueled my OCD. For months, it dragged on and on. I was worried about everything: did I love him? Is he attractive to me? Why doesn't sex or intimacy feel right with him anymore? Do I really care about him? What is love? What do I really want? Etc., etc. It wasn't until I moved out after college and began my own life that I realized it was OCD. I'm happy to report we are getting married in May, and I can't tell you how much I love that man. It took a hell of a lot of work, but my ROCD is in remission. I now deal with SOOCD, but I am making slow progress with it everyday. Bottom line: there's always hope and a silver lining. It does get better. You'll have good days and bad days - progress is not linear. Keep fighting. :)
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you so much for sharing this. It sounds just like what I’m experiencing and my ocd keeps saying what if I never snap out of it ? What if I can never love again? I’m just scared that the thoughts and feeling are actually real and not the ocd
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Niki.s I totally get that. What's worse is that the feelings and thoughts are so real to you, you can't distinguish them. For a while, I actually believed the thoughts, I just thought that I'd have to live like that forever. Well, I'm here to tell you that don't, and there is hope. Is there a way you can find therapy? I suggest only seeking OCD specialists because not many people are knowledgable about the affects of OCD and what it truly means to live with it. Though you can certainly recover on your own, I've noticed that having a support team is very helpful. And if you can't afford it, that's fine. I'm always available on the app and if you need to vent just tag me. Hope you have a great night and try to focus on the positives.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. Read below please sorry forgot to tag
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You’re so right ! I’m going to look into the ocd specialists. I was so in love with my BF and then all of a sudden my brain flipped a switch before my period and is making me believe that all that warmth is gone and I don’t want to believe it and I don’t understand how it could be true ? How can it just change in a second for NO reason. I love him and the thought of leaving him completely ruins me
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
I’ve been struggling with this for the part year and it’s been horrible I hate my life and I feel like nothing works , please help or feel free to share tips or your own story
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 5w ago
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
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