- Username
- NS1234
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I have had OCD almost my whole life but just began having ROCD mid last year. I have an intrusive thought that I cheated on my boyfriend in the beginning of our relationship. My biggest fear is losing him as I am head over heels in love with him. I get random thoughts and get triggered by random things that make me think I did cheat on him and it can be debilitating. However, my therapist has been helping me through it and my boyfriend is actually aware of my ROCD. He has been supportive too. I still have long ways to go in my recovery but I am trying everyday
So relatable . Wow thank you !
I'm going through something similar and I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I think I would remember doing something like this but I can't and the fact that I can't is making me anxious. How is therapy treating this?
@alwaysanxious That does sound similar to what I’m going through. So what my therapist has been using to treat this is ERP. It can be so hard and painful but it’s the only way. She has me think “what if this actually happened” “what if he deserves better” “what if he leaves me” etc. And then not ruminate and sit with the anxiety. I need to do better at this and do it more. But a way I am doing it is when I’m triggered by something random that makes me think I did it, I try not to figure it our and ruminate. I’m doing it right now, and it’s hard and frustrating but it’s the only way. Hope that helped!!
so my last relationship partially ended bc of my ROCD. my current relationship is a million times better and i’m crazy about my current boyfriend, which just makes it even scarier that my ROCD could start acting up again. every once in a while i’ll get feelings of “why don’t i feel the same way i did at the beginning” or “he said something that slightly annoyed me so i’m unhappy and we should just break up”. but he knows about my thoughts, and he knows how to help me through my worries. it’s a tough thing to bring up because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, but if your partner is open and understanding then that’s honestly the best way to handle it it my opinion. just let them know how you’re feeling, let them know that your feelings are just intrusive and not actually representative of your feelings for them. and by vocalizing that to them it’ll help you as well. hope that makes sense:)
Thank you so much for sharing. I deicided to share with him . But I’m just so scared of the thoughts and feelings that come with it. I literally was so happy and then the next day I flipped a switch
Hey! :) I can offer some insight. My ROCD began a while ago when my mother (who is diagnosed with BPD) criticized my boyfriend about his neurological condition (it is called CMT, it's a condition that affects his balance but he is otherwise healthy). It sent me spiraling (because overbearing mothers have terrible effects on their children). At the time, I had no clue what ROCD was. But I posted to a subreddit about CMT and wow! I wish I hadn't haha. I was told to break up with him and that I'm a bad, ableist person that should burn in hell lol. The truth was that I had a mental illness. I was scared. I was seeking reassurance. All of this fueled my OCD. For months, it dragged on and on. I was worried about everything: did I love him? Is he attractive to me? Why doesn't sex or intimacy feel right with him anymore? Do I really care about him? What is love? What do I really want? Etc., etc. It wasn't until I moved out after college and began my own life that I realized it was OCD. I'm happy to report we are getting married in May, and I can't tell you how much I love that man. It took a hell of a lot of work, but my ROCD is in remission. I now deal with SOOCD, but I am making slow progress with it everyday. Bottom line: there's always hope and a silver lining. It does get better. You'll have good days and bad days - progress is not linear. Keep fighting. :)
Thank you so much for sharing this. It sounds just like what I’m experiencing and my ocd keeps saying what if I never snap out of it ? What if I can never love again? I’m just scared that the thoughts and feeling are actually real and not the ocd
@Niki.s I totally get that. What's worse is that the feelings and thoughts are so real to you, you can't distinguish them. For a while, I actually believed the thoughts, I just thought that I'd have to live like that forever. Well, I'm here to tell you that don't, and there is hope. Is there a way you can find therapy? I suggest only seeking OCD specialists because not many people are knowledgable about the affects of OCD and what it truly means to live with it. Though you can certainly recover on your own, I've noticed that having a support team is very helpful. And if you can't afford it, that's fine. I'm always available on the app and if you need to vent just tag me. Hope you have a great night and try to focus on the positives.
@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. Read below please sorry forgot to tag
You’re so right ! I’m going to look into the ocd specialists. I was so in love with my BF and then all of a sudden my brain flipped a switch before my period and is making me believe that all that warmth is gone and I don’t want to believe it and I don’t understand how it could be true ? How can it just change in a second for NO reason. I love him and the thought of leaving him completely ruins me
Please share your ROCD stories:
anyone wanna share any things on rocd that they have went through. i’m struggling hard now
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond