Is this sexual abuse ? I was on YouTube and I saw a 14 year old on the thumbnail of the video . I was like “oh he’s cute “ . I had watched the video before and they said he’s 14 and I had a thought , “wait isn’t he 14 “ while also just looking at him and finding him cute. Then after that I was like wait is he actually 14, watched the video and it turns out he actually was . So then I closed it and panicked. So now I feel like a gross pedo sexual abuser even if I didn’t find him cute after looking at him properly . I’m 17 idk if it’s relevant . I went on stopitnow.org and they said it’s sexual abuse to find someone 3 years younger attractive ? Can someone please help I’m freaking the fuck out .

Gosh it feels so incredibly real . Like the order of the thoughts too. I had this similar experience with the same video before where I thought he cute then got a closer look at him and realized it was just cuz the thumbnail didn’t give me a good look at face and was embarrassed at liking him cuz he was 14 and then I forgot about the incident . Then today the video of the damn kid pops up again , and I think “he cute “ then “isn’t he 14” and then “he’s cute “ and continued looking at him for like 2 seconds . Was it because the “isn’t he 14?” Didn’t register , I’m not sure . Then I looked at it again realized I was right that he is 14, and then freaked out . So it feels as if there’s proof I’ve done something awful and I really can’t stop .

@Lucy.Wilefire I completely understand this. I have had so many thoughts like this before. You are not a bad person for thinking they are cute. I didn’t do anything towards them. It was just your thoughts, and you are not your thoughts.

@Lucy.Wilefire You’re mentally reviewing the event, again. Which is another compulsion. These compulsions aren’t helping you get more clarity or certainty and relief. They’re doing the opposite. Just sit. Do nothing. Feel this weird feeling. Take a deep breath. Go about your day. It will eventually pass on its own.

@c_soccer The weird thing is that the photo makes them look a bit older at first cuz it’s a thumbnail and ther isn’t detail but when you look closer you realize he actually did look 14. And then I wasn’t attracted to his kiddish features . I still feel like I’ve done some grave moral mistake

@Lucy.Wilefire You’re still doing mental compulsions and mentally reviewing this. Do you see you’re doing it? You have to make the decision to stop and then hold yourself accountable. It will FEEL like you’ve made some grave moral mistake, for now. It’s okay to feel that and fear that it’s true. But just sit with that feeling and lean into the uncertainty: maybe that’s true. But maybe not. And look no further for the answer. Accept that you don’t know. Accept the feelings you have. And allow that they may or may not be true.

@pureolife Yeah you’re right . I’m going to try to just do my homework . Thank you SO MUCH for helping me

I understand where you are coming from but the whole purpose of this app is for people to seek reassurance and help. Just ignore it if you want but if getting reassurance is helping someone than that is great

I get what you’re saying but also this is a safe space for OCD sufferers, everyone is in a different stage of recovery and processing their themes, she might come here to express her fears and intrusive thoughts because she doesn’t have any other outlet or anyone else to go to.

I think it would be more helpful to help explain why reassurance doesn’t work or to kindly respond saying you won’t provide reassurance but wish them strength in sitting with the uncertainty. We’re all at different places with ocd. And we all have to come to the decision to stop performing compulsions in our own time. I know it’s hard to watch because we hate seeing others suffer needlessly. But generally what helps people get there is support and gentle refusal to enable compulsions, not annoyance and frustration. You have every right to be annoyed! But perhaps you can air that annoyance somewhere else where it won’t make someone suffering feel defensive, which could make them less likely to open up about their ocd struggles and get the help they need.

This rumination and mental reviewing isn’t doing anything. You’re going in circles and it’s keeping you trapped. Break the cycle. Stop trying to sort out exactly what happened and why. The story will keep changing. The “what if’s” will keep coming. There is no end to this without deciding to stop. Make the right decision. Accept uncertainty, feel uncomfortable, get back to your life.