- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I feel you, I have been going through the same thing and right now I am struggling again with this uncertainty even though I can handle it better than last time thanks to all the knowledge and practice I have accumulated about ocd, ERP and mindfulness. It's like, hey I already accepted that I might be bi or curious, why do I still feel scared when I already felt ok with it?! I guess for us it is best to stop trying settling into a label and try to accept and even embrace the ambiguity,uncertainty and messiness of sexuality. It is such a complex and subjective thing, we will never find the certainty that OCD bullies us to get. It just doesn't exist, that is why the questions and doubt never stops. I am doing best and feel almost cured when I manage to just leave my sexuality unlabeled and stop analysing it. So what if it is not a 100% figured out? We don't have to be sure about this even though OCD tells us otherwise. But I know it's hard. I am facing a huge change in my life right now and this makes it harder to accept the uncertainty and resist seeking reassurance. But we will get through this💖
- Date posted
- 4y ago
thank you for being compassionate i was scared someone was going to come at me and tell me “because you’d experiment you’re bi” or oh “that sound pretty bi to me” i just confessed i’m bisexual to my boyfriend and didn’t feel relieved one bit the doubts are still there and it’s just terrible.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@holley Your welcome, I think I know exactly how you feel. Keep in mind that confessing is also a compulsion, especially when you do it to get relief. Of course you should be open to your bf but don't think you have to confess all the time what you are experiencing. I did the same. It will get easier. Try to tell yourself that you don't have to figure this out now or ever. Fear is not a good advisor. What also helped me was to learn that anxiety is a feeling we can have and tolerate, we don't have to do anything to get rid of it even if OCD tells us we have to through reassurance, confessing, figuring things out. But we don't. We can let it be there until it gets bored and leaves on its own. And it will!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Shoeshifter A+ advice, Shoeshifter! 💯
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Madison Thank you 💖
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Keep accepting the uncertainty and let go of trying to figure it out. Easier said than done, I know, but it REALLY helps. I just am like “ok, I’m just not gonna figure it out” and let go of the concern. It feels uncomfortable but eventually it passes out of my awareness when I’m not ruminating about it. And if it pops back in that’s ok, I’ll refrain from solving it again.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
This is exactly how i feel right now! I was really thinking if i really did have ocd because i kind of got over the thought for just 2 months and i was beating myself up that i dont have ocd and im really just in denial. even if i was ok with experimenting and finding myself, i stilll wasn't comfortable with the idea of being bi but i always fear that I'm just lying to myself because my ocd convinces me that I've always been bi. the thought don't give me anxiety anymore, but the fact that i need to find a label for what i feel makes me so confused
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w ago
I really feel like SOOCD is such a tricky theme. They tell you to sit with it and not overthink it and accept the possibilty, but we're talking about our future and someone else's future! I also feel like societal pressure doesnt help this theme at all. And its always gonna come up, because as a women, when I hang out with my friends, all they talk about is 1) their relationshios 2) their crush so my brain automatically compares or stresses when it does not relate. I try looking for comphet video on tiktok (i vividely dont recommend doing that) and some videos kind of made sens so I was like, am I a lesbian? So for instance, there is one girl who came ut at 26 and she was like "all my life I felt like I needed to date guys and chose my crushes and when I was making out with my bf it always felt like something was missing and then when I went out with the girl I realised that it wasnt supposed to feel hard and whats natural to your body will come to you naturally". She said that even tho she's a lesbian now she still imagines a life where she has a husband and kids but she knows that she cant have that because she likes imagining that she's straight when indeed she's not. (that was a very big spike for me). and she knew that if she went down that road she would never date men again ( and I feel like I relate to that?!). So to calm myself I said, idc if im gay or bi, at least my bf will be my "one" exception. And right after there was a video of a girl who said " if you're a girl going out with your bf and thinking you're 99 percent into women but that your bf is the exception leave him, you're a lesbian" ughhhhhhhh. My biggest worry right now after being in a 6 year relationship is that I feel if I imagine it that I would feel way more for a women then for a man? but my therapist told me it was normal because with two women its always more intense but im like but what does it mean? that I dont know true love? That I dont love my current partner or at least not enough? I also feel like sometimes, if I ever break up with my bf I'll never date guys after? like even if they were perfect? I know that for anyone reading that shows that Im in denial... I've talked to my therapist about it and she always is like "live in the moment". Ugh
- Date posted
- 25w ago
Hi everyone, Lately, I’ve been feeling confused and anxious about my sexuality, which has been challenging to navigate. I’ve always identified as straight and am currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. However, I’ve recently started questioning if I might have some attraction to women, which has caused me a lot of anxiety. To be clear, I’ve never experienced romantic or physical attraction toward women in real life, but I have watched lesbian porn in the past. Now, I can’t help but worry that this might mean I’m attracted to women after all. On top of this, I’ve noticed a decrease in my sexual desire for my boyfriend, which only intensifies my concerns about both my sexual orientation and my relationship. This confusion is something I’ve never dealt with before, and it’s starting to take an emotional toll. If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate any advice or insights on how you worked through it. What helped you find clarity? Someone mentioned that my anxiety might be OCD-related, though I’m not familiar with OCD in this context. I’d love to hear from anyone with experience in navigating these kinds of thoughts or anxiety. I’m open to any personal stories, resources, or guidance on how to approach this situation, both for myself and in communication with my partner. I want to better understand what I’m feeling without being overwhelmed by fear. Thank you in advance for your support!
- Date posted
- 25w ago
Hi everyone, Lately, I’ve been feeling confused and anxious about my sexuality, which has been challenging to navigate. I’ve always identified as straight and am currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. However, I’ve recently started questioning if I might have some attraction to women, which has caused me a lot of anxiety. To be clear, I’ve never experienced romantic or physical attraction toward women in real life, but I have watched lesbian porn in the past. Now, I can’t help but worry that this might mean I’m attracted to women after all. On top of this, I’ve noticed a decrease in my sexual desire for my boyfriend, which only intensifies my concerns about both my sexual orientation and my relationship. This confusion is something I’ve never dealt with before, and it’s starting to take an emotional toll. If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate any advice or insights on how you worked through it. What helped you find clarity? Someone mentioned that my anxiety might be OCD-related, though I’m not familiar with OCD in this context. I’d love to hear from anyone with experience in navigating these kinds of thoughts or anxiety. I’m open to any personal stories, resources, or guidance on how to approach this situation, both for myself and in communication with my partner. I want to better understand what I’m feeling without being overwhelmed by fear. Thank you in advance for your support!
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