- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel you, I have been going through the same thing and right now I am struggling again with this uncertainty even though I can handle it better than last time thanks to all the knowledge and practice I have accumulated about ocd, ERP and mindfulness. It's like, hey I already accepted that I might be bi or curious, why do I still feel scared when I already felt ok with it?! I guess for us it is best to stop trying settling into a label and try to accept and even embrace the ambiguity,uncertainty and messiness of sexuality. It is such a complex and subjective thing, we will never find the certainty that OCD bullies us to get. It just doesn't exist, that is why the questions and doubt never stops. I am doing best and feel almost cured when I manage to just leave my sexuality unlabeled and stop analysing it. So what if it is not a 100% figured out? We don't have to be sure about this even though OCD tells us otherwise. But I know it's hard. I am facing a huge change in my life right now and this makes it harder to accept the uncertainty and resist seeking reassurance. But we will get through this💖
- Date posted
- 4y
thank you for being compassionate i was scared someone was going to come at me and tell me “because you’d experiment you’re bi” or oh “that sound pretty bi to me” i just confessed i’m bisexual to my boyfriend and didn’t feel relieved one bit the doubts are still there and it’s just terrible.
- Date posted
- 4y
@holley Your welcome, I think I know exactly how you feel. Keep in mind that confessing is also a compulsion, especially when you do it to get relief. Of course you should be open to your bf but don't think you have to confess all the time what you are experiencing. I did the same. It will get easier. Try to tell yourself that you don't have to figure this out now or ever. Fear is not a good advisor. What also helped me was to learn that anxiety is a feeling we can have and tolerate, we don't have to do anything to get rid of it even if OCD tells us we have to through reassurance, confessing, figuring things out. But we don't. We can let it be there until it gets bored and leaves on its own. And it will!
- Date posted
- 4y
@Shoeshifter A+ advice, Shoeshifter! 💯
- Date posted
- 4y
@Madison Thank you 💖
- Date posted
- 4y
Keep accepting the uncertainty and let go of trying to figure it out. Easier said than done, I know, but it REALLY helps. I just am like “ok, I’m just not gonna figure it out” and let go of the concern. It feels uncomfortable but eventually it passes out of my awareness when I’m not ruminating about it. And if it pops back in that’s ok, I’ll refrain from solving it again.
- Date posted
- 4y
This is exactly how i feel right now! I was really thinking if i really did have ocd because i kind of got over the thought for just 2 months and i was beating myself up that i dont have ocd and im really just in denial. even if i was ok with experimenting and finding myself, i stilll wasn't comfortable with the idea of being bi but i always fear that I'm just lying to myself because my ocd convinces me that I've always been bi. the thought don't give me anxiety anymore, but the fact that i need to find a label for what i feel makes me so confused
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
- Date posted
- 19w
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
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