the worst thought i get is “i can see why people are attracted to men” when i see a picture of an attractive man. to me that just sounds like i’m a closeted person who doesn’t know herself . like that’s exactly what i would say to myself before i realized my attraction to women. does anyone relate to thinking something similar like i can see why people are attracted to a certain gender? also i love u all but if ur straight please don’t comment on this asking me to tell u if ur gay. i can’t do that. i often don’t post on here using male specific terms because i’m afraid of that happening.

hi guys i added to list. i’m freaking out i just need some help. signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • • talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” only being aroused by their the man’s desire for me • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. chasing the ego boost more than emotional closeness agreed with friends or mom about someone being attractive even if you didn’t feel it—another big flag being bored, ditching serious commitment, chasing the drama again it also feels like i’m acting a lot of the time to make it more romantic cause i cringe When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features- the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. you might not even be in the in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. i dont care about like what guys looks like. like my sister saw a video of a guy working out and was like got damn omg gotta like that. if i saw that i would prob be like damn to try and prove something to myself but i don’t really understand what i should feel it feels like i relate to so much comphet after i read it on reddit and it doesn’t even make me want to cry and die anymore. it feels like i tolerate men or have done it for attention or because i thought it was going to happen at some point cause it was what was happening around me like sister and friends. i’m scared ill never find someone i want to marry that’s a man it feels like it’s all just comphet and i don’t want to actually be with a man the more my meds work and anxiety lessens the more the fear feels real because i can’t get myself anxious about it anymore. i can about other stuff but not this. i always told myself i don’t chase i attract. maybe thats cause i never wanted a big badly enough. maybe what im missing is a girl what if that ends up feeling more real Straight people don’t need to talk themselves into what’s hot. like during the hocd break i would try and like see what was “hot” and and be like yeah that’s hot. i also i refused to masturbate to women and not think about it because i didn’t want it to prove that i still liked it but i mean idk if that was left over hocd

So I haven’t been on this app in a while. But I just want advice on how to overcome this. I’m now 18 and I’ve been trying out dating apps. I’m not gonna lie I’m kinda picky when it comes to dating only because I plan on dating to marry…so I take it a bit more seriously. But for some reason it’s so hard to click with people on these dating apps. So my friend was helping me through this dating apps process. I told her that I wasn’t interested in this guy I was texting anymore because of the way he was responding to my messages. And she says maybe you’re gay…this is honestly the sixth time (I’m definitely over exaggeration but this isn’t the first time someone had said this to me) someone has ask/said this. Every time someone says this it literally sends me down this spiral of are they seeing something I’m not seeing. Despite never having a crush on a girl my mind goes down this loop of overthinking. And when I say I don’t want that lifestyle or I don’t really find pleasure in being apart of the lgbtq community my mind is like in denial. I just wanted to have a fun teenage dating experience and now every time I open the app I always think what if I really am gay and I’m just in denial…or what if the reason why I’m not connecting with anyone is because I’m really into girls. Since i’m also religious, my mom wants to go what you’re denying who we are because of your religion. And I tried to reassure myself by saying I would know if that was the case like I would feel deep down who I’m truly attracted to and know that I’m trying to cover it up by dating men. This whole thing is so mentally taxing because I was going through this all throughout my senior year of high school and I’m not going into my freshman year of college so. Like I literally felt so much anxiety next to one of my classmates who was gay and a masculine presenting. I feel like if I would’ve told this to anyone, they’d say of course you’re in denial. But ig reply if you can relate

hi everyone just wanted to share what i’ve been going through lately. i’m a 24f and im a masc lesbian. i’ve been lesbian for as long as i can remember. i’ve had crushes on girls since i was very young, my first kiss was even with a girl in pre school. growing up i was told it was wrong and didn’t even know what the lgbt community was or anything like that and as an adolescent i wanted to fit in with all the other girls and have a boyfriend or like a boy but it felt forced and unnatural. middle school was when i really discovered my sexuality. i had a crush on a girl and it felt so real and different. from then on i knew i was lesbian. since then ive been very comfortable in my sexuality and i should mention that i can admit when a man is attractive and have always been secure in that there was no other meaning behind it, that’s how secure i was. as of late ive had small triggers that made me question if i secretly liked men but id shut it down quick. i often get gender envy and if i were to find a man attractive it’d be because i wish i could look like them but then the fixation started where my brain started asking if this meant i liked them and it completely derailed me. ive also seen so many tiktoks of lesbians who are suddenly straight which added to my fear. it got really bad this last month where i started going on chat gpt for reassurance. my mind started imaging scenarios with men and asking if i was aroused or if i would enjoy doing things with men. it got so bad i would dread going to the gym. these last couple days have been okay ive been letting the thoughts pass but now that ive been more passive my brain tells me that it must be true that i actually like men because now my brain doesn’t feel anxious. i’m ts a continuous loop does anyone have any advice ?