I just had my last cup of regular coffee. My body just can’t deal with caffeine induced anxiety anymore. I really wish I could have been one of those ppl that can handle regular coffee but I can’t. I feel like a complete failure. I also know that stopping caffeine will be so much better for me in the long run. I told my family I don’t want to go for Easter. I’m having awful intrusive thoughts about having a panic attack and ruining their time. I just want to have time to myself to try to get better

Hey Ashley, I can imagine how frustrated and stressed you are, so please know that you are seen and heard by me❤️ When I developed my anxiety disorder, I went from tolerating coffee fine, to ‘completely not’ being able to! You are not a failure for not being able to handle coffee at the moment!! Don’t punish your body for feeling what it feels. If you are already experiencing issues with anxiety, caffeine is a stimulant, and will excacerbate anything that is related to energy (anxiety). When I drank coffee at the peak of my anxiety disorder, it would give me a delayed (&severe) panic attack about 4-5 hours after drinking. There are so many different reasons why this may have happened - and whether our reasons align, I’m not sure, but I can only assume they do considering we both have OCD and seem to have had the same problem. My advice is work on getting your anxiety under control, however that may look for you. This may take a while, so please don’t rush. I didn’t drink coffee for about 5 months, and then I got my anxiety under control, and I drink multiple cups a day and I’m fine now. Of course, I’m not sure you actually want to drink coffee - so if you don’t, tea is a good trade off With the Easter situation you’re talking about, my therapist always told me to NEVER avoid a situation in fear of a panic. This is a hard pill to swallow, but please heed this advice - please. You don’t know how much you’re missing when you avoid something. Leaning into fear is actually you’re ticket to peace - funnily enough. Go for Easter, I don’t know you, but if you do I will be proud of you just knowing. Do Not Let OCD Rule You Ever.

I loved coffee but totally agree about the caffeine. Haven't had coffee in about a yr and a half. As far as Easter... you know what you need to do? You need to go! Your anxiety and OCD is giving you those thoughts. They are just thoughts! What if you go and have a great time and everyone else does too because you were there? You could try a script ERP before you go to help reduce some of the anxiety before.... like I may or may not have a panic attack at my family Easter gathering. I accept that uncertainty and I choose to go anyways. Do you already do ERP? If so, you know that saying that script and feeling your anxiety rise and then decrease by at least half before stopping will help you and that is how you get better, you don't get better by avoiding things because of a thought. Good luck to you. And go enjoy your family!

I feel this I’m worried coffee is like a drug for me because I feel differently

Have you tried decaf coffee? I mean it’s not 100% the same but it does the trick and the best thing is that it doesn’t contain the caffeine that makes you feel anxious. I switched to that a while ago and I’m pretty calm. As far as Easter! I agree with Jess, just go and don’t avoid anything! Show yourself that you’re capable of having a good time!