I have harm/Suicidal OCD subtype (included with my pure O) and I haven't acted on the harm thoughts, but they have become MUCH WORSE because of stupid ERP and I don't know what to do because obviously it's really upsetting and unsettling that I would even imagine self harming.

Don’t worry @cinnamongirl22 . I’ve had the same thing my whole life I’m 40 now. Step one never seek reassurance but soemtimes u might need it. *You will never act on those thoughts. If u were crazy and did want to do those they wouldn’t cause u immense anxiety. That’s ocd attacking your most loved things your life, the people you love etc. I’ve had these thought for over 7 years. My first major episode left me helpless I didn’t know I had ocd just thought it was anxiety attacks. Once I started to do erp I was scaired to even try it. My first therapist made me carry a cardboard knife around because I was scaired shitless of knives. I promise you will see the ERP is hard very hard for all of us but once you do it after sometime you won’t be scaired anymore and that’s the key. We’re all just scaired of these thoughts. Everyone gets them even my wife but for them it goes away because they know it’s dumb useless for useless it repeats like a broken record. But it’s ok. ERP is the best for defeating ocd. 1) ERP 2) Exercise 3) meditation - mindfulness, Deepak’s Chopra app is very good.

Hang in there and be positive Focus on getting better and doing the homework. It’s a mind game you need to do the exposures as hard as there are even if they drive your anxeity up the wall they only help in the long run. Listen to the therapist and believe in yourself that you can do it. The ocd doesn’t define you as a person it’s just an angry bully trying to take over your amazing life!! Keep working I promise it gets better. If you ever need tips message me. Mike

Ugh gurl. It's the process. Stay tough

Jenna Overbaugh mentions an Instagram post regarding “extinction burst”. It tends to fight back while you re-address your habits.

Thank you guys so much for your replies and advice!💖 I actually have been doing daily meditation for around a year now, and it's been so freaking helpful! I'm not currently taking an SSRIs bc they had some pretty bad side effects that outweighed the positives for me. And Mikeb63, I'm trying to hang in there, thank you for sharing your experience with ERP💖