- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and he's made very little posts. They're never about me, sometimes he'll post us on Instagram if we did something fun that day but I don't even have Instagram! the last one he posted was almost 2 years ago on our last trip. I know my boyfriend simply doesn't care to post, well, anything. A lot of men don't. Just because other people post their partners all over social media, doesn't even mean they're happy. I don't think it's a red flag, but I think you should let him know that you just want one post just to show that you exist? I don't think that's too much to ask.
- Date posted
- 4y
I agree
- Date posted
- 4y
I agree!
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for the compassion. He doesn’t care to post about much of anything. He’ll usually just share a photo here and there of his car or a landscape- nothing personal. I don’t even care about him posting about me- I just want to know it’s not a red flag that he doesn’t. I know my post reads otherwise but truly I don’t care if his old high school friends from 10 years ago know i exists- I just wanted reassurance that it wasn’t a sign of a doomed relationship.
- Date posted
- 4y
I know how you feel. What is funny is that I was very active on social media and all of the sudden stop conpleatly because of OCD...
- Date posted
- 4y
It would be hard for me to change it...
- Date posted
- 4y
Posting a photo of you two online is a bigger commitment than a proposal? That’s odd. Does he have his relationship status as “in a relationship”?
- Date posted
- 4y
I don’t think you can see his relationship status on his profile. Mine is hidden too. I can’t explain his logic haha. I was surprised when he said that too. When he explained it, he just said he was more comfortable with the idea of proposing to me than posting a photo online. It seems I picked an avoidantly attached person for my anxious attachment style haha Last time we talked about it, I found out that apparently when he was married before, his wife had control over his social media and would post photos of them from his account, so now he has big hang ups about it. Anyway, I don’t know. Maybe it’s weird but I probably don’t need to obsess about it so much
- Date posted
- 4y
My boyfriend was the same. Even now he only posts photos of me very, very, very occasionally. I think it's because of the "cheesins" and "cringeyness" others laugh at (I think it's sweet to sort of show off to your friends about your partner from time to time, it's like a little surprise scrolling and seeing them post about you). My bf used to post about how he loves me and the comments were just....not nice because people mocked him. Now he uses social media mostly for re sharing funny posts or memes. He was the same about his phone wallpaper or having a picture of me/us in his room and stuff like that. Stuff that isn't necessary but does make you feel wanted and normal like you said. I'm not sure about the proposal over social media. I think some guys don't care as much or don't care "if everyone knows their business."
- Date posted
- 4y
He only posts of me at all cos I've had the argument about this with him and he'll only do it if he feels like it and I'll have to sort of remind him by saying "did you see the photo of you I posted".
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah I was a bit taken aback when he said that...but he’s super avoidant attachment style so maybe he has a weird hang up about social media. He just says the thought of it freaks him out, but he’s not nearly as freaked out about the idea of proposing to me...if that makes sense. It probably doesn’t. I don’t know. it made me feel better in the moment but i regret sharing it now because it just sounds weird to other people so now I’m even more anxious 😅 Apparently when he was married, he didn’t like posting photos of him and his then-wife. He says the only reason there ever were any was because she would login to his social media and post for him- which maybe explains some of his hesitations around it.... I don’t know...🤦🏼♀️
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous2020 But thank you for sharing. I do appreciate it! It’s helpful hearing that it’s not just me
- Date posted
- 4y
@rewilding I think with the proposing thing, maybe it's a compliment in a way? He's comfortable with you that he can do something so personal and special (propose) whilst he's not comfortable with being personal on social media 🤔
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous2020 Thank you! That’s what I’m trying to view it as. I know it was a weird comparison for him to make, and it sounded strange to me...I’m just extra anxious now because it also sounds strange to a bunch of internet strangers 😅 trust me, I would much rather get proposed to than get a photo on Instagram haha The last time we talked about it, he also promised he wasn’t trying to hide me or was ashamed of me (that’s what I was so afraid of), and that everyone important in his life knows we are together, which is true. So I’m just trying to remember that and remind myself of that.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous2020 What I also forgot to mention in my original post was that he doesn’t really post anything at all online. The occasional photo of his car or a landscape...but I think the last Instagram post he made was over 6 months ago. Even his son only gets a couple photos online every year....so if it helps, at least he’s not posting about everything BUT me 😅 that’s what I’m telling myself anyway hah
- Date posted
- 4y
@rewilding Sounds like he just doesn't like to be personal on social media (which is totally normal) and is more comfortable being personal towards you directly. Internet strangers will never know your relationship like you do, so take what they (and I) say with a pinch of salt. At the end of the day, he's not ashamed of you and loves you, and it's just how he is (like many people).
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous2020 Thank you so much. I’m so grateful to you for saying that and being positive and encouraging. It really means so much to me!
- Date posted
- 4y
@rewilding I'm glad I could help :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I feel so bad I overthink abt everything my bf says and does. I think that if he doesn’t say x y z when I want reassurance then he must’ve stopped caring or is tired of me. I know it’s not the truth and he gives me NO reason to think this way. This is my first healthy relationship and I want to be in each others lives forever. I love him so much and I’m trying my hardest to manage these thoughts but I’m so anxious. It’s so draining I feel helpless and like I can’t go a day without checking his social medias. I want us to be the best versions of ourselves for eachother but idk where to start or how to manage this feeling.
- Date posted
- 23w
I have OCD around being a bad or a “weird,” person. I use to be in therapy twice a week for two hours at a time because I was in such bad shape with it. Eventually I moved to once a week at two hours at a time, and now I’m down to just once a week, an hour at a time! I was also put on Lexapro, stayed on it for a year and just weened myself off in Nov. I do feel proud of myself, but today someone said something that was pretty triggering and I’m feeling funny now. Since I was a little girl, if I find someone I liked a lot, I wanted to know everything about them. This typically only happened with older adults and always women. It was always very harmless. I just lived in my head a lot with them always on my mind. Then Facebook came out where you could find out anything about anyone. I could go on to someone’s Facebook page, scroll through their page, pictures, and if I was really interested in them, could find out who their family was through their friends list, etc. Then I’d visit their families FB pages all the time out of just interest (or I guess you could call it being nosy, I don’t really know.) If I really felt interested in them, Id google them, look up their house, just weird stuff like that. I could end up knowing everything about them or their family. It had never caused me any harm or them any harm. I never really thought about it being weird or anything. But one day I woke up and was like, “what if I’m a stalker. What if this person knew that I knew who their parents are, their siblings, etc., etc.?” I got in to an absolute downward spiral about it and felt like such a weirdo, a creep, a freak. Seriously, I’m a pretty normal person. I’m married, kids, husband, stay at home mom, have the same friends I’ve had since middle school, high school, whatever. My therapist didn’t think this was a big deal and I was always scared she was just being nice. I made her promise me to tell me if anything I told her sounded off. Anyway, I was on the phone tonight and the person I was talking to, was talking about someone else and she said, “yeah, I mean she just looks people up and needs to know everything about them. That’s why she could be so good at being a private detective, or something like that. She’s kinda stalkerish.” It hit me hard. I felt like I needed to tell her that maybe she wouldn’t like me either because I can be the same way. I didn’t though. I didn’t get off the phone or do anything with it. If this was a year ago, I’d be in the bathroom vomiting, pacing the floor, taking my anti anxiety med. Today, I just dealt with the uncertainty of her not knowing that I can be the same way. I’m doing ok, but I’m so curious, is it just me that does this kind of thing? Is there anyone else that does this kind of thing? Is this abnormal? I know that it is what it is, but my phone conversation tonight kinda opened up that stuff for me a little bit and now I’m feeling like a freak. Thank you if read this and if you respond.😊
- Date posted
- 19w
Longish post but please stick with me. Hi everyone. I’m just looking for a bit of insight and if anyone else has felt this. It may sound strange and I’ve not had the courage to ask this for a while…. So I’ve been with my partner (27M) for almost 3 years now, I’m (24F). He recently proposed which I was not expecting so soon. We always joked about it and when he said he looked at rings I was happy. I knew it was coming at some point but not so soon. When it happened it’s immensely triggered my ROCD. And I’m struggling with something in particular, I just want to know if anyone else has experienced it/ what the root cause could be so that I can work on it……. When he proposed it’s like my brain put a time stamp on our relationship. All of a sudden I’m counting the days of my relationship/how long I’ve been in one. It’s like my brain is “keeping track” of the amount of days/weeks that I have a relationship. It’s like my brain wants to be in a relationship for a very long time IMMEDIATELY, which is of course not possible. It’s like my brain is saying “you have to break up with him because you haven’t been together a while yet”. It makes it feel like time is going so slowly. I see couples together for 6/7years prior to my age/time and just think “how did they do it”? Same with married couples. It’s like I think “they’re lucky I wish I was at that many years already”. But at the same time, the thought of being with someone for a long time makes me feel anxious and sick and like I have to “escape” or “get out” urgently. I’ve struggled with this particularly for a month now and am just wondering if anyone else has experienced the same or similar? Or can anyone offer insight into what this really could be deep down/root causes, as I REALLY want to figure out why and where it’s coming from. Sorry for the long post. Advice appreciated ❤️✨
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