My daughter who has religious and contamination ocd is asking to be excused from a a family vacation because she will not be able to eat or sleep or do anything. Nor will she be able to sleep in her bed when we return. Should I let her stay with grandma while the rest of the family goes on the trip? Should I make her go with us even though she will be miserable and make her siblings miserable through her behavior? Such a difficult decision! She is 14 years old and refuses to actively participate in therapy. She said she like her life the way it is and is fine with the restrictions she has placed on herself. My thinking is that if she goes and sees how much fun everyone is having she might start to realize she has a problem and cooperate more with treatment. Any suggestions are greatly appreciate! Thank you!

Many of her contamination thoughts involve not touching things to avoid going to hell. She made a promise to God that if he would take away her ocd she would not do certain things...touch or use certain things. It was a spur of the moment promise that didn’t make much sense but it’s what her 13 year old mind came up with. Now if she touches/uses certain things she is “breaking her promise to God” and is surely going to hell. :(. Religious OCD is so so difficult.

this is tricky because you don’t necessarily want to force her because unwilling exposures can have a negative effect. perhaps give her an incentive or reward for going, such as a gift? this would turn unwillingness into willingness while you both get what you want. and she just says she’s comfortabile with the way she is because she’s too scared to stop the compulsions. in time, with patience, this is will pass.

Thank you. I will try that. I hope you are correct. This is really destroying our family. Her sibs are young and don’t understand why she acts like this or why she gets “rewards” for doing things they do as part of tasks of daily living. It makes them resentful and confused and it’s just a mess!

I would let it be her choice. Dont force her, but also maybe kindly remind her that these moments of spending time with family are precious. You can’t LIVE your life in fear, because years will go by in our heads without us being present in the moment. I have had both types of OCD, OCD is a party pooper for sure. and I wish I could say something that would change her mind but all I know is that I wish I could get some of that time back. Therapy helps for sure, so I hope she participates more actively soon. Best of Luck!

What do you mean by not be able to eat/or sleep?. And quite frankly you're the adult and can determine her treatment. If you take her to a therapist every week she has no choice but to talk to one. These restrictions cripple her livelihood for sure and yours and its better to get her in a program now while it's young than her deal with the effects of ocd when she's old. Teens are a terrible age, but also the years of so much change. By 16 - 17 shell have a much different mindset than she does now.

At 14 we don't know what's better for us, yea we can make decisions but we rely on parents at that age to know better, I think you should also seek help and guidance do research on ocd to understand her better, catering to the compulsions won't help her and showing her how fun life can be might work but knkw that logic vs ocd doesn't work, if logic worked we all would be off this app and cured, ocd takes time and effort to control and eventually get rid of, but it needs professional help, seek it. May God bless you and guide you

She has intrusive thoughts regarding food and germs and refuses to eat for days at a time. Yes, I can and do take her to therapy. But I cannot make her talk to the therapist, honestly admit her fears, and willingly practice erp therapy. We have been to many, many therapists trying to find one that will help her. They all say she “has no insight” into her problem and they do not want to waste our time and money until she agrees to at least try to get better.