- Username
- hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I saw that too. It really sucked to read. Let’s use it as exposure and not perform mental compulsions like checking and testing. Just say, “ok. I read this triggering post. It made me afraid and uncomfortable, but I’m not going to pay attention or assign meaning to my intrusive thoughts.” That’s what I’m going to try to do.
yeah I think it’s the best we can do. But still, this made me question everything. Like, so even if I have hocd I can turn out to be gay? I’m so scared
@strawberry ice cream I know. I feel the same way. I like to focus on the fact that I’m in control of what kind of life I live and that thoughts are just thoughts and can’t control my life.
hey! i know that was super triggering for some people but we have to remember we don’t know them at all. there could be so much behind all of that, that we don’t know about. also, it’s all about uncertainty you never know what can happen which again i know is super triggering but it’s the truth. and you can’t really just turn gay if you identified as straight before you knew you had ocd then that never changes.
If who your talking about is blade, then don’t listen to him at all, he’s says he’s gay one day, and then he says that he’s just confused, and then he keeps repeating this off and on, he’s had multiple people get mad at him for this and quite honestly it’s annoying, so don’t take what he says as serious
@Ope Was it this blade guy? I’m sure I seen him do similar things on other boards..
@Ope He’s annoying, he’s notorious for saying he’s gay one day, and then saying how he doesn’t know and needs help, again plz don’t believe anything he says, he’s really annoying
@Ope my advice would be to not read trigger warning posts or maybe not have the app to read what other people say. i can see it really triggered you and i would stop looking at what people say because it’s just going to get you more stuck and confused.
@Ope Who was is that posted?
@Hocd Warrior Yes, I have seen him do this as well. This might be a compulsion for him.
Was he the same guy who did this a few weeks ago and started pushing some really sketchy form of therapy?
His name was listed at Anonymous, he just said he was told hocd means you can’t be gay and after 15 years he realized that the therapist made him in denial. Extremely extremely triggering
@Justmesadly I'd say that if he's posting a lot then that's probably a compulsion and good evidence that he's still very uncertain and looking for uncertainty lol
Use it as exposure. Ruminating on “is it hocd or am I gay?” is such a huge compulsion. So this is great exposure to the idea that “maybe I have hocd and I am also gay!” Just make sure you don’t ruminate on it. Avoid compulsions and avoid the urge to need to know everything about this person’s situation and avoid making it mean something about you!
It could be fake too, some people are trolls and could just try to trigger you
That's true too. I seen a few people say stupid shit like thay
Thats just their experience, their experience is personal to them, has nothing to do with you. But use what you read as an exposure, its literally the perfect exposure because it has caused you a tremendous amount of anxiety. Say to yourself "that sucks that he suffered so long, but it is good that he found his true self." Be happy for him, and maybe even add in "maybe that would be me after ERP, maybe I'd find out I was a lesbian after all of this time. and it'd be okay." Once you show your OCD youre not afraid of the thoughts, you'll feel so much more in control. Not trying to trigger you more, but yes, you can end up being the thing you fear. But use that as an exposure! If something causes you fear, lean into it. Its the only way to overcome your stuff. Good luck!:)
I saw it. I’m so scared. I don’t wanna be gay too but what if I am?? Does it mean my obsession can be true?
@Ope I think the person deleted it
@Ope it was someone saying they realized they were gay after therapy and they were mad bc the therapists said that they couldn’t be gay with hocd. But since he found out he is, he is now mad ab the position he was in
@strawberry ice cream Theres not a lot of context on that person. So i would disregard that
@PaperTigerOCD What do you mean a lot of context?
@PaperTigerOCD that’s true. But the fact that they said they have hocd and discovered they are gay is rlly triggering. What if all I’m obsessing and fearing is actually true?
@strawberry ice cream I think if you were really gay you wouldn’t be obsessing over it. It’s literally on my mind all the time, which is how I know it’s intrusive thoughts and ocd. This is reassurance though so we have to stay away from dwelling on this.
@strawberry ice cream No that man isn’t gay, I know who your talking about it’s blade, he’s refused to accept the uncertainty and keeps saying he’s confused, and then the next day that he’s gay, and then says he’s confused again, don’t listen to him
Was it on NOCD? Not everyone going thru OCD means all of a sudden they are gay.
I can’t anymore. I really can’t. The what if I am attracted to them. The “why does it have to be a man with a woman” (which by the way- I only now get when women are talking in love songs. And whenever I look at any couple). I am just tired. Tired of feelings like crap. I just want to go to what I was before, but was I like this before? Have I always been like this? I am tired. My anxiety levels are ALWAYS the worse at the morning. I am starting to obsess whether I like this friend now! And it doesn’t matter how much I try to accept it, it doesn’t go away. Like there is still something wrong. I hate this. I hate this so fucking much. At this point. How can I still be straight? I literally get triggered by everything. And how can I just not be gay? I have no reason to think that but it feels so real. It’s like I have no sexuality at all. And this is all that I can think about every single hour of my day. I am even thinking about this in dreams! I even wonder that the fact I am so upset right now is because I am scared of telling people and that they won’t accept me. When I don’t even know who I am myself. I am so done. What even is this? Have I always been like this? I am getting flashbacks and it’s telling me I have.
Okay so having a lil anxiety attack right now because the thought of being gay aint scaring me anymore and now i feel like i truuuly am gay and like i have to come out to my parents and like im pressured by myself and not accepting myself and it feels just too real and idkkk its crazy how i can go from okay to this stage again. I feel like i try not to fall in love with woman and im holding myself back but if i truly was gay wouldnt it just liked the same sex earlier in my life. Like it just happens right? So ive never had that but i feel like im blocking myself from likjng woman but jve never liked them in my whole life so idk what im tryna convince myself. I cant lie, This generation is rlly hard on me when it comes to my hocd. Evergwhere around me people are comjng out and it makes it look like being gay is a huge posibility and that i could easily be gay when u look at how many people are gay. That it wouldnt be a weird case like so many girls are lesbian why wouldnt i be. What would make me straight and them gay? The thing is all these questjoms once were never in my head and all the answers were so clear i didnt even had to ask the questions to myself. But why do i now? Makes me feel like im gay because straight ppl would never ask themselves these questions...
I just read this post about Colin Underwood the ex Bachelor star & ex NFL player coming out as gay, and in the article it said “he lived with this uncertainty about his sexuality for a while before coming to terms with his sexuality.” Lol this rly triggered me, as the whole point in our recovery is living with uncertainty. I don’t want to live w uncertainty to one day find out I’m truly lesbian and have been lying to everyone & myself :/ :( I guess he probably did not have OCD, and in the article it said he knew “something was different” by the age of 6. I guess I’m just overthinking but 😭 it sent my anxiety through the roof
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond