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My therapist explained that humans do need a certain amount of confidence to accept an idea, and that’s ok. So most people will accept something as being true as long as they’re pretty confident of it. They understand that “sure, there’s a tiny possibility that such-and-such is not true” but that possibility is so unlikely that they just disregard it, and accept the idea as true. With ocd it’s just hard to discard that 1% chance (or whatever % chance). I’ve learned a few things that have helped me here—first, it’s ok if my brain needs logic and evidence to accept something. But I need to actually accept that evidence and just disregard any lingering fearful feelings that remain. When I have that evidence, it’s also vital that I stop the ruminating then and there. Finally, it’s become clear to me that some therapists don’t do as good of a job with language around “accepting uncertainty.” You’re not accepting uncertainty as if it’s 50/50. Nobody goes around thinking there’s a 50% chance they’re a pedophile. It’s more like people are 99.999% sure and they don’t get bothered by that 0.0001% chance, so it doesn’t even register to them. When I realized that’s how other people function, it helped me reframe my acceptance of incredibly minor, hypothetical possibilities and completely disregard them.
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To many people, I think it’s just something they don’t give a second thought about. But if they really delve into the thoughts like we do, they might realize that they could never really be sure about that. They’re just not anxiously attached to the idea, so it’s easier for them to brush it off and logically deduce that it was likely to never happen. I wonder the same thing about people who are always so sure their partners will never cheat on them or leave them. Like, where did you get all this trust and certainty from?! 😅
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This is also why habituation may only go so far. No rational person habituates to a real belief they’re a pedophile (or whatever). Habituation can be somewhat useful, but for me it’s really correcting irrational beliefs that cause frarvand then avoiding rumination (which is a mental compulsion) to keep any lingering fear from multiplying.
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*cause fear
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Before ocd got bad for me that was something I never ever thought about or had a doubt about. Now I’m constantly worried about being a p but I have to remind myself that I shouldn’t have to even ask myself that question cause if you take a step back it’s just not logical no matter how many weird thoughts cross your mind 🤷🏽♂️
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Yes but sometimes it feels logical :/
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@random_person I get that! It’s the same for me but that’s when you have to try your hardest to remember your values
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@thedude Thanks
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I gave up trying to figure out how neurotypical people operate 😅
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Do you ever feel like people without OCD have an easy time just saying “you need to accept uncertainty” only because they’re not subject to the same level of fear and anxiety as an OCD sufferer would? I feel like they don’t really accept uncertainty, they’re just naturally more certain about things. For example, if you ask anyone whether they think their loved ones are real or not, they will never answer with “maybe, but I’ll never know for sure”. They’ll just say “of course they are”. Isn’t that what certainty is? For me, as I’ve been suffering from existential OCD most of my adult life, such a question absolutely terrifies me. The mere thought of my loved ones and the world not being real sends me into a spiral of anxiety and depression and never ending certainty-seeking behavior. I just can’t stand the thought of that horrible scenario being true. How can one accept uncertainty about such a thought, when it completely undermines all my values and beliefs and world view? Can non-OCD sufferers really accept those nighmarish scenarios? Am I misunderstanding what ERP and therapy is about?
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- 23w
So my whole life I’ve been heterosexual. I have got hocd so I worry I’m a lesbian when I have no reason to worry about it because im straight ( not that my ocd likes to think that tho lol! ). But there’s this thought I have, How do I know I’m 100% straight if I haven’t tried sleeping with a girl? Bear in mind I’ve NEVER WANTED TO and DONT want too. Hence why it is an INTRUSIVE thought. But the thought is so uncomfortable- I can’t seem to shift it. But i do see that THIS IS OCD & wanting to know for certain. Thats the definition of OCD. I do know that but it’s tough with the stupid doubts!!! Do you guys just live with the unknown / uncertainty. I’m so happy and love my boyfriend and only want to be with him etc. Let me say again, I DONT want to sleep with a girl nor have I ever fantasized about it. But why does ocd want 100% certainty.. I just wanna not have that weird niggling thought.
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- 14w
Is it true that ppl without ocd may not even notice some of their thoughts in the first place that people with ocd notice and fixate on?
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