What are some things my mom can say to me when I am struggling with my ocd?? She feels like she always says the wrong thing so now she doesn't know what to say to me. Any suggestions?

Listen, I totally get it. It’s hard to hear a loved one obsessing over small, insignificant things. My mom tries to be supportive, but she gets so mad when I tell her what’s on my mind, and she just yells at me and says I’m crazy for thinking like this. So, I just sent her this, and I hope it helps: Mom, I know it’s really hard, but when I’m suffering with OCD thoughts, all I need is sympathy. Getting mad at someone for having OCD is like getting mad at someone for having a head injury. Please understand that I can’t help it, or else I would stop it. I need someone to say, “I’m so sorry that’s bothering you this much. It must be so overwhelming. It must be so hard to cope with this.” You could even ask me questions, like “What does it feel like? How much are you thinking about this? What helps you feel better?” I just need someone to validate my experience and sympathize, not tell me that I’m crazy or say my problems aren’t real. I’m aware these thoughts are crazy — that’s why I feel so alone and sad and scared. When you tell me my thoughts are crazy, it makes me feel even more like a freak. Sometimes, I just need someone to hold my hand and tell me I’m not alone.

I am 16 and struggling with OCD. It is causing me to do irrational things that I wouldn't normally do and cause issues with my parents. I feel like a terrible person and want to take back things that have happen and don't know how to make it better. The OCD causes things to get stuck in my brain and my questions have to be answered and talked about. I don't know how to let thoughts go and ways that would be healthy for myself and my parent when this happens. Any advice?

My mom will sit and listen to me for quite a while, but she interrupts a lot and gets angry/upset. While I appreciate her passion, it's often stressful. Every time I come to her, if I even *mention* OCD, she gets frustrated and says, "Everyone deals with these issues, you know. It doesn't mean it's OCD." And I repeat, "I'm not saying my issues are unique — I'm saying the way I respond to them is a problem." But she just shakes her head and says, "Okay, I need to get back to my day." Full context, I'm an adult, and I live with my boyfriend, but I'm staying at my mom's for the next month. After living away from home for years, I went back to living with her during the pandemic, and I only recently left to live with him. Honestly, I think living with her for so long in my adulthood really messed with me and made me feel like a teenager all over again. I feel like my mental growth is stunted, and that's part of why my OCD is so bad lately. Not blaming, just noticing. She doesn't seem to understand how relieving the OCD diagnosis has been for me, because it explains so so so many things I've struggled with for years, and it's exciting to have more resources that can help me. But I think she sees it as me finding an excuse to *not* work on myself, which is just untrue. I'm not going to let OCD hold me back or use it as an excuse, but I'm also not going to pretend it's not a problem when I know it is — I was even diagnosed through NOCD. The whole point being to fix it, not use it as a crutch. When I have an issue, it's unbearable. Any issue, big or small, feels just the same. I feel a sinking feeling, my mind races, my heart beats out of my chest. I end up running to my support systems, crying, ruminating for days on end. Then, months later, the same exact issue can feel like nothing anymore, because it's no longer an obsession. I'm sure everyone deals with issues in a similar way, but I *know* there is something specific and debilitating going on with me. This is reassurance seeking, but in the face of being told I'm making a big deal out of nothing, can someone diagnosed with OCD tell me if they relate to the specific intensity of these feelings??