Cheating OCD Anybody deal with cheating OCD where they all of a sudden got a panic attack that they may have cheated on their partner when you KNOW they didn’t ??? Like now I’m playing scenarios in my head that feel real???

Also wanted to add- do NOT confess. It makes it so much worse and creates and endless cycle.

@Maybe,MaybeNot Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I completely agree - confessing is a compulsion.

@Maybe,MaybeNot I really really wish I read this before I actually did confess. For some reason, confessing makes me feel so much better because I cannot keep any thoughts or anything from my now husband. I am always honest with him and hate lying to him. OCD is terrible. I wish you get better. My last theme was false memory where I had “past memories that I touched a baby innapropriately”. It just felt so real. My husband is now getting to be more and more understanding with my anxiety. I know it is hard for him to hear it all, but I hate to keep things from him as he is my other half. Thank you so much for your advice, I appreciate it so much.

We were all young and naive once, but we learn from those mistakes. I sent nudes to another guy while dating a guy 3 yrs older than me when I was 14/15. I thought nothing of it at the time.. and now it haunts me to this day.

@MRR7221 I understand- I get great relief when I confess to my fiancé. But I had to stop because #1 he didn’t want to know the details of everything and #2 shortly after I confess a new thought just replaces it.

@Maybe,MaybeNot Also, not telling your husband these things is not lying or hiding something. He simply does not need to know. We are not perfect and neither is your husband. No relationship is perfect. Also you do even know if this thought is true!

@Maybe,MaybeNot Dont*

@Maybe,MaybeNot That’s true. He doesn’t need to know everything, nor does he want to know everything. I understand that. I talk to him for my benefit unfortunately. Also my thoughts stay for awhile. I’ve never been able to figure out why some thoughts stay for months-years or only a few days to weeks. It’s wierd. /:

@Maybe,MaybeNot Well I have no memory of anything ever happening and I was and still am very open with him about everything and anything. I was over that cheating crap. Like I said I was young and naïve): I had ROCD where I was scared I was going to cheat on him. Then a different thought to this one. It’s not fun, which I’m sure you can relate to. :(

@MRR7221 Confessing used to be my biggest compulsion and I still find it such a struggle not to do it every day. But I know that ultimately the driver for it isn't to actually do anything positive for him, it's to seek reassurance and feel better about my own guilt and anxiety. It's not reasonable for us to share every thought or that concerns us with our loved ones, especially when they stem from OCD and can be distressing. I understand completely how hard that can be and how you can feel like you *have* to share these things with him, and OCD can make you feel like it is for his own benefit. But it's a sneaky way to seek reassurance and relief. It's important to learn to tolerate these feelings of uncertainty and distress and not lasoo others into our OCD loop - especially when the thoughts involve them. That's where talking about these things with your therapist soon will be helpful. There needs to be someone you can work through this with who isn't your partner, and who won't feed the OCD with reassurance. I know it's hard but hang in there!!

Thanks so much for sharing your perspective Maybe,MaybeNot! I'm confident you will be able to get to that same point with your OCD again, if you're currently having a harder time. I appreciate you being so honest and firm but kind!

@Grey Sakura You’re very welcome and thank you back 🙏🏻

Thank you for this! The unfortunate thing is is I was once young and dumb at age 14/15 and cheated on my highschool boyfriend and felt guilty ever since. I am now 22 and married to the most amazing guy. Am I recreating the memories I had then to now? It’s driving me crazy and my panic attacks are bad!!

I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I am absolutely in so much distress and I do not know why.. it just hit me randomly because of something that came up while I dated my husband. A guy grabbed my waist studying abroad and it made me thi my I was the one that caused it and that’s where these thougts came. /:

@MRR7221 You will get through this ❤️ I understand the distress completely, trust me. But just remember that the level of distress you're experiencing doesn't correlate with how "real" or "valid" your concerns are. It's just your brain sending signals that feel uncomfortable to you, and sharing creative thoughts that easily grab your attention, and this can become a vicious spiral. You can tolerate this distress and move through it. I encourage you to seek out EAP therapy if that's possible. I'm starting it up soon. We will get through this.

@Grey Sakura I’ve axtually never been diagnosed with OCD, I am self diagnosed. But I will be starting therapy soon and start a diagnostic therapy soon!!! I have had every ocd thought imaginable.

@MRR7221 Glad to hear you're starting therapy soon, I hope you'll notice a lot of benefit from it. The fact you've had so many previous OCD themes and obsessions definitely indicates what you're going through now is just the same thing (OCD) in different clothing. It's gonna get better!

@Grey Sakura You seem like such a caring and kind person. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to help others like myself! I really hope that I can conquer this. The thoughts feel and seem so real. How in the world does the mind do that. I wish someone knew