I can’t help but slightly blame my family for my lack of mental health. I have a mother that is a good person but cares so much about appearances that I now have anxiety over any imperfections. My dad yelled at me and my brother so much that my first reaction to anything is anger. And my dad literally always talks about how amazing my brother is. I was telling him how my boyfriend helped me out a lot by teaching me how to study and he then proceeded to name how much smarter my brother is. None of this pertains to OCD necessarily but it caused me to spiral. Usually that means cleaning but my house is cleaning so I’m just obsessing over how literally everyone but my mother thinks my brother is better. I love him very much. But part of me thinks that if he wasn’t here, my life would be better. My Pure O is more of the problem than OCD. There are no compulsions. Just obsessed with the idea that my brother will always be better than me. No matter what. It’s stupid but I just want to be a priority to someone other than my boyfriend or Jesus. I want someone in my family to understand my struggle with various mental illnesses and with always coming in second to my brother.

I’m so sorry that sounds so difficult. Your situation kind of reminds me of Monica and Ross in friends which if you want to watch you might find it to help you make light of the situation. Even though your parents compare you to your brother try to excel and do what’s good for you. Reach your own goals because we can never really compare each other to other people because everyone is so different and we have different things we are better in. Just try to ignore your parents if you can’t talk to them and reason with them about it. Remember you are a different person than your brother and have many amazing characteristics that make you great!

That's right. If u believe in God then u know that envy is a deadly sin. Believe in and love yourself. God created u. Look at yourself as a goddess

To be clear, my mother has the opposite relationship. She disowned my brother recently after being treated HORRENDOUSLY by my brother for over a decade, and then he married a woman who has said that she wouldn’t help my mother even if she was dying. Believe in God and that He is the higher power, but none of the deadly sin BS. That is more of a Roman Catholic thing. I’m a non-denominational Christian.

There's nothing wrong with cutting toxic people out of your life like cancer. Do what makes u happy. In real words. FUCK them. Deadly sin was a joke. I'm non denom also. Lol