So, just want to share an experience with you guys. So I’ve been struggling with pocd and today i hung out with my best friend and her kids and went to the playground. I’ve been struggling with this for months now but I never told her, my best friend, that i was struggling with this because of her being a mom. But today, I finally told her to get it off my chest. Not only was she understanding, but she asked me to hold her baby boy multiple times and to go to her daughters room to check on her as she napped. I feel that today was a big step for me. And so, I think it’s important that was do what scares us and that we reach out to people. Although we have to rely on ourselves to heal our minds, its a journey we cant totally walk alone.

My struggles with OCD began in childhood, but it wasn’t until after giving birth to my first child at 30 that I finally received a diagnosis. For years, I suffered in silence with intense anxiety, insomnia, and intrusive thoughts, but because my compulsions were mostly mental—constant rumination, reassurance-seeking, and avoidance—I didn’t realize I had OCD. I experienced Pure O, where my mind would latch onto terrifying thoughts, convincing me something was deeply wrong with me. After my son was born, I was consumed by intrusive fears of harming him, even though I loved him more than anything. Seven weeks into postpartum, I hit a breaking point and ended up in the emergency room, where I was finally diagnosed. For the first time, everything made sense. I didn’t discover exposure and response prevention (ERP) until years later when my son developed Germ OCD during COVID. I went through the program myself first, and it completely changed my life. ERP helped me sit with my intrusive thoughts instead of reacting to them, breaking the cycle that had controlled me for so long. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s so much better than before. I can finally be present instead of trapped in my head. Now, I’m working on trusting myself more and handling challenges without fear of “losing control.” As I prepare to help my daughter start therapy, I feel empowered knowing I’m giving my children the support I never had. If you know you have OCD but haven’t started therapy yet, what’s holding you back?

I got up, I did TWO loads of laundry, and unloaded and reloaded my dishwasher. I also made my daughter laugh, and I didn't seek reassurance more than once today. What a win, right? I also changed her clothes despite my intrusive thoughts. You guys who have seen my post know that I have been spiraling. I relapsed with POCD in January after being free and clear of it for almost 3 whole years. It's been the biggest struggle, and today I had a bunch of wins and I think that counts for something. I'm still struggling and still second guessing everything, but I'm also trying to have one win a day. And today I had more than one, which is kind of a big deal for me. Thanks for everyone being here for me despite how many times I ask the same thing over and over. I'm just a mom who wants to be the best I can for my daughter; God gave me her and I want to raise her the way she should be.

Hey friends. I hope you all are doing good today. Just struggling mentally myself. Feel like a terrible mother, but I want another baby. My OCD has gotten better despite the terrible episode I had that I seem to not get over. I hope someone comments that could just give me some support with POCD