- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I had a similar moment years ago when I began my recovery journey! I shared with my best friend regarding my Harm OCD fears. She asked me to hold her newborn and left to go to the bathroom. She shared how she had experienced similar thoughts but could shrug them off, and that it made sense why I held on to them as a sort of personal attack on my identity. That really was a pivotal point in my recovery journey. ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you for sharing ❤️ it is so important to talk to people
- Date posted
- 6y ago
What’s also really important is your friend trusted you implicitly- where you don’t trust yourself. You didn’t start this obsessive worrying about if your a Paedo. The worrying started elsewhere. Work backwards. You were not always like this. It’s not ALL just an awry circuit. Sure it’s sensitive to anxiety but it doesn’t explain the nature of obsession. I’m doing deep work to get at the heart of why I am the way I am. I think it’s helping but I also think this illness just being biological does not fly with me. Too many variations, too nuanced, too common to be a genetic design flaw. We have traumas. They may not be big things, it can be as simple as not getting enough encouragement growing up, but we have things that made us think this way, probably a very long time ago and now it is so well practised that it feels like a part of us. Has to be more to it. I still get some thoughts, but it’s interesting that the whole experience is way less intense and I don’t just put that down to exposure. Honestly - know thyself. Get it understand how and why you think the way you do, where this all began, and then work to change your sense of self. That is what is at stake here. The vulnerable theme it’s chosen is not the real reason
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Amazing to read!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@soniclen this was a very intriguing read! This worry all started when i was around this same friends children and her husband made a joke about me being a pedophile. Even though I knew it was a joke, my anxiety (which I’ve been diagnosed with) took over. Since then, I’ve been getting better at calling myself out when I have an outright unrelated ridiculous thought. But, I still have thoughts that will grab my attention and cause me to ruminate to no end. I think i still have these thoughts because im afraid of “accepting” it and I just don’t know how to go about it. Good luck on your quest to heal though! You seem like you know what you’re doing.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w ago
Hi I kept seeing this app on repeat on TikTok over and over and I thought I give it a shot. I have never been diagnosed with OCD but I know that I have it. I’m a young adult and I found out the first time I had OCD was watching lelelons truth video? I was 14 at the time She had to resist sitting back down in a chair after her having sat down she started having a mental break down when she was told to resist. That’s when I knew. It started with myself going up and down a staircase twice buckling unbuckling my seat belt everytime I’m in the car ect I have always been super anti social but trying my best I can socialize but my mind wants to make it sexual with family and friends ughhhh I hate it because that’s not me when I graduated thoughts of hurting my loved ones corrupted my mind I broke down outside of church one time asking if this was really me or not i question if I’m a good enough friend or person in this world to begin with thinking everyone is judging me so so close how can I make this situation better did I do something wrong I struggle with depression as well not to bad but it’s there I come from a loving family but broken as well i believe in god and my OCD makes me go often he’s not real that stuff isn’t real no one is there to save you the list goes on. Anyway I struggle a lot and I really hope that this will help me because I feel extremely hopeless. Lucky for me I do have the ability to seek therapy and I am excited. The only person I ever tell my thoughts to is God no other human has heard so I’m really really hoping this helps me out if your reading this thank you it means a lot because this is my first time ever admitting all this it’s a lot to take in I know and I hope you are ok and that you have a great night and know that we got this
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Im 21 years old, I had ocd seen I was 14 when it started it stopped me from telling anyone I have it. It was really bad at the time and I had no clue how to deal with it I even was able to kill myself at one point but decided to have hope it would get better. In time it did got better but I had no clue what was wrong with me and I didn't want to tell anyone. Until this year I finally found out what it was and my ocd started getting bad again but I'm doing better now. Is been 7 years but I really want my mom to know what I been through but I feel like if I tell her it hurt her and I feel bad for not telling her when it started. I just need same help getting the courage to tell her.
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
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