So, just want to share an experience with you guys. So I’ve been struggling with pocd and today i hung out with my best friend and her kids and went to the playground. I’ve been struggling with this for months now but I never told her, my best friend, that i was struggling with this because of her being a mom. But today, I finally told her to get it off my chest. Not only was she understanding, but she asked me to hold her baby boy multiple times and to go to her daughters room to check on her as she napped. I feel that today was a big step for me. And so, I think it’s important that was do what scares us and that we reach out to people. Although we have to rely on ourselves to heal our minds, its a journey we cant totally walk alone.

I had a similar moment years ago when I began my recovery journey! I shared with my best friend regarding my Harm OCD fears. She asked me to hold her newborn and left to go to the bathroom. She shared how she had experienced similar thoughts but could shrug them off, and that it made sense why I held on to them as a sort of personal attack on my identity. That really was a pivotal point in my recovery journey. ❤️

Thank you for sharing ❤️ it is so important to talk to people

What’s also really important is your friend trusted you implicitly- where you don’t trust yourself. You didn’t start this obsessive worrying about if your a Paedo. The worrying started elsewhere. Work backwards. You were not always like this. It’s not ALL just an awry circuit. Sure it’s sensitive to anxiety but it doesn’t explain the nature of obsession. I’m doing deep work to get at the heart of why I am the way I am. I think it’s helping but I also think this illness just being biological does not fly with me. Too many variations, too nuanced, too common to be a genetic design flaw. We have traumas. They may not be big things, it can be as simple as not getting enough encouragement growing up, but we have things that made us think this way, probably a very long time ago and now it is so well practised that it feels like a part of us. Has to be more to it. I still get some thoughts, but it’s interesting that the whole experience is way less intense and I don’t just put that down to exposure. Honestly - know thyself. Get it understand how and why you think the way you do, where this all began, and then work to change your sense of self. That is what is at stake here. The vulnerable theme it’s chosen is not the real reason

Amazing to read!

@soniclen this was a very intriguing read! This worry all started when i was around this same friends children and her husband made a joke about me being a pedophile. Even though I knew it was a joke, my anxiety (which I’ve been diagnosed with) took over. Since then, I’ve been getting better at calling myself out when I have an outright unrelated ridiculous thought. But, I still have thoughts that will grab my attention and cause me to ruminate to no end. I think i still have these thoughts because im afraid of “accepting” it and I just don’t know how to go about it. Good luck on your quest to heal though! You seem like you know what you’re doing.