Why should we not ask what we can do and what not..? And not to ask if I'm okay or approve what I fear. How it triggers ocd? It does.. but what's the logic behind it

I’m sorry. Can you clarify your question. I’m having a hard time understand what’s you’re saying. Are you asking what’s the logic behind not giving in to reassurance and rumination ?

Yes

@nayan14 The logic is that when you get reassurance or you do a compulsion you get temporary relief. But you’ve tricked the brain. The brain now believes you survived a distress because of the compulsion. It also reinforces that you experienced a threat because you had to do a preventative thing to protect yourself. So now whenever there is a trigger your brain immediately wants you to do your compulsions in order to feel “safe.” But the compulsions are never enough , and so you have to do more to satisfy your brains feeling of safety.

@Sasha If I say I have relationship ocd and i repeat one thing again and again and someone reaffirms that I'm not harming anyone and I'm a good person.. i will still continue my compulsion that advice will just give me relief? Is it the true?

@nayan14 Yes, but I don’t want to speak in black and white. The mind is complex , and so a reassurance can sometimes be ok. But you have to test it for your self. When you ask someone for reassurance like the example you just made , is it enough to stop wanting more compulsions? Most of the time you will find it is not enough, especially if your ocd is really bad with this particular trigger. Another problem with reassurance is, what happens when you have another similar thought but the person isn’t there to reassure you ? Now you are constantly dependent on another person to calm you down. This is bad for both parties. You become like an infant: always needing someone to tell you you’re fine.

@Sasha Yes it happens. Whenever someone reassures I feel better but then my compulsions worsen.. also when there is no one to reassure I get anxious.. because I'm too dependent on that.

@nayan14 Exactly. So you see, you are only strengthening your minds need for compulsions and reassurance when you give in to this. And if you stop giving in, you are wearing the need to get “relief.” And allow the mind to find equilibrium.

@Sasha Sure. Thanks a lot sasha 😃😃

@Sasha Stopping the need*

@nayan14 My pleasure . And I know how hard it is. So I emphasize with your struggle. ❤️

@Sasha Thanks sasha. Knowing people with same disorder is a boon. We all are there for each other. 😃