- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Try to avoid mental checks and rumination no matter how hard it is to. If your anxiety shows up out of nowhere just at the thought of him and gives a false signal that something might not be right, don't go looking for a reason or checking that everything is fine or so, just try to let it be there and move on. Once your brain gets used to registering the anxiety as a false alarm, it'll stop showing up.
- Date posted
- 3y
That’s a good reminder, thank you!!
- Date posted
- 3y
Have you noticed that big events, (such as getting married) seem to make your doubts and feelings considerably more intense and painful?
- Date posted
- 3y
Yep, literally what’s happening lol
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m actually functioning now but I have a lot of confusion around that because I was put on Lexapro so I don’t know if the medication is pulling a lot of the weight or not. My thoughts had me agoraphobic and I couldn’t even leave my house without panicking. This is NOT like me at all. I was actually extremely excited to get married! I got engaged October 2020 and I was thrilled and full of nothing but love for MONTHS! I had a thought sneak in after inviting a dr I worked for at the time to my wedding that threw me into a panic. My brain told me that if that man came to my wedding, I would be more worried about how he saw me than the man I was actually marrying. I was DEVASTATED and instantly was thrown into the OCD cycle. I did a lot of research and realized what I had and am now trying to fix it but the wedding definitely made thoughts worse. There was suddenly so much guilt that I may be leading him on. It’s just so mind boggling to me that one thought at the drop of a hat could derail me so bad. I’m still struggling with this. The hardest thing I have ever experienced. I have had other subtypes in the past that showed up during big changes in my life but I didn’t know it was OCD and it just went away on its own after about a month. I’m going on 3 months with ROCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
I've been living with ROCD for 3 years now. The first year was with my kids mom who left and the last 2 years has been with my wife. I have had the exact same thought patterns and feelings through out both relationships and I had terrible anxiety and dread months before the wedding to my wife. I was anxious and unsure the entire ceremony too but after all was said and done I actually enjoyed the reception quite a bit. I still go through this shit every day but I have grown so much through it and believe it or not I feel it has brought us closer and humbled me more then anything I've ever been through in my life. I have to believe there's a reason for this more then just a struggle. I believe struggle is the bedrock of growth so I can't see this being any different
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t do anything differently. Avoidance is the worst thing you can do.
- Date posted
- 3y
She's right. It's also the hardest thing not to do.
- Date posted
- 3y
@JLG323 It gets easier the more you do it.
- Date posted
- 3y
This is my biggest issue. I don’t know how to shut off the mental compulsions. I genuinely don’t know how to ever look at him and NOT have mental checking or see a text on my phone from him and not ruminate. Even though I know I can. I’ve done it before but that was before I knew what OCD was and I dolt remember why or how it went away on its own. A few years ago I had harm OCD towards him and almost broke up with him. Now we’re married and I fear I don’t love him. It’s so painful
- User type
- Staff
- Date posted
- 3y
This happens a lot! You could work with a therapist to do some exposures that are "challenging but manageble". It might be an exposure for you to simply think about this person while resisting rituals. if you are in a situation where you need to interact with this person, it might be helpful for you to try to reduce rituals or postpone them. for instance, instead of reassurance seeking immediately you could try to postpone this for 10-15 minutes and see how that goes.
- Date posted
- 3y
I actually have started working with a therapist here at NOCD. I appreciate your feedback.
- Date posted
- 3y
I've gotten pretty good at not doing physical compulsions. My main thing is mental analysis. Basically rocd, intuition, rocd??? Nah... Intuition.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
- Date posted
- 23w
How do you guys get past the anxiety? I feel like my thoughts are the only thing that control my mind. So often I feel like I should just leave my partner even tho I love them so much because I just feel like these thoughts are too much. I over analyze everything. I feel so stuck and defeated. I just want to be normal. I feel so toxic for the thoughts that I have
- Date posted
- 22w
I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.
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