- Date posted
- 3y ago
- User type
- Staff
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Truthfully, anything can become a compulsion. Even this! A good way to tell whether it's a compulsion or simply a quirk you have is to notice how you feel if you DON'T engage with it. If you were to stop using this analogy or stop picturing the ladder- how would you feel? Would there be distress? Or any type of urgency? Those are good signs this could be a compulsion for you. It's important to recognize that a common mental compulsion is counting. Whether that's counting your steps or counting years. If you find that when you don't count your distress or discomfort increases- that's a good sign its become compulsive for you.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you. I guess I wasn't thinking "counting" in the same way as just someone counting. It makes sense however. I don't remember when the ladder began, but it's been there a long time.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I just do it. Kind of like when I am on a sidewalk. Depending on how wide the blocks are, I'll take maybe three steps to get over the crack, then four, then three, then four, never stepping on the crack between blocks. Sort of like, don't step on the crack or you'll break your mother's back. Only that's not why I do it. It just seems like that's how my steps go. The staircase and the ladder have just been in my mind for a long time. Like with the ladder, I guess, when I hit 20, I needed to be all grown up. But I had to mature much sooner than that. And the staircase is a metafor(sp)for starting the day, being at work during the day, and relaxing and ending the day. Sounds stupid now that I write it down again. I must have been easily entertained by myself. Had to do something.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It's not stupid God is in Control. All of us who have OCD have things we do that might not make sense to others, even to those of us with OCD. Like the thing you said about taking 3 steps and then 4 steps on the sidewalk blocks, it may not be something I specifically do, but I can relate to why you do that because of your OCD. I did used to obsess about not stepping on a crack in the sidewalk back when I was younger because I was afraid my mom's back would actually break. Did having the ladder metaphor make you feel more grown up? I can see how it could be used to help with that. Something I do is that when I have a straw in my cup without a lid, I feel like I have to have the straw facing in a specific direction, the direction is determined by my OCD, if I don't I just won't feel right. There really is no real reason why I do this, I just do it because it feels right to do. My therapist says stuff like this is called "Just Right OCD", I think your sidewalk thing you do and the ladder and staircase metaphors are "Just Right OCD", or at least I think they are. There doesn't have to be a real reason for them, we just do these compulsions because our OCD makes us feel like we need to. I hope we can both break out of our compulsions over time. We just have to learn to sit with the anxiety that it may cause us and eventually it won't bother us so much. That's what my therapist said, but I think it takes awhile before we start to see improvement. Anyways, I hope I was at least somewhat helpful. Have a great day God is in Control! God bless friend! :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Drew777 Thanks my young friend :-) These particular cases of OCD really seem harmless, don't they? I mean the sidewalk thing with me has nothing to do with my mother's back, yet it still is a ritual. I also noticed just in typing this that I had to be as perfect as possible with no errors. I kept adding two letters to a lot of my words and had to go back and fix them. Also keep hitting the space bar when I meant the period, and the period when I meant the space bar. I go back and proofread what I've written before posting, and when I post something with an error of any kind, I really have to sit and work my way through it before I can continue on. Seems rather silly, and most people would think so, but to me it's something that gets into my head.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@God is in Control No, it's not silly at all, in fact I struggle with the exact same thing! I have to type everything correctly all the time to the point that I can't even let my phones auto correct fix it, if auto correct fixes it then I have to delete the word and type it again because my OCD makes me feel like I should've been able to type it correctly on my own without the help of auto correct. I was actually just talking to my therapist about this the other day, so it's interesting that you brought it up as something you struggle with too. And you're right, these particular cases of OCD do seem harmless, but they actually are more harmful than we may think because they're an unhealthy compulsion we're performing and if we keep giving into them then the compulsions will just get worse and we'll perform compulsions more frequently. And you're welcome friend, I'm glad we can talk to each other and relate with one another about OCD, I think it really helps us all to know that we're not alone. :) How are you today God is in Control? :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Drew777 I'm not doing too bad Drew777. Just got back from neurofeedback. Fixing myself some lunch, even though supper will be just around the corner. I think my stomach has OCD. It can't stop thinking about food. :-) I think we must somehow be in tune with each other through the stars or something like that. Seriously speaking however, I believe God brought me to this site to meet friends like you and others, and even though the therapist did not work out at this time, I'm sure it will in the future.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@God is in Control What's neurofeedback? Is it another place that helps with OCD? And I'm glad you're eating regularly, that's good! I honestly struggle with eating, like I don't eat enough, I normally only have one meal a day and normally it's dinner between 6:00 or 8:00 at night. I need to be better about eating, lol. But I agree, I think we're in tune with each other too, I believe God led me to this site as well to meet you and some other people as well that I've become friends with. I really hope therapy will work for you at some point in the future God is in Control, I pray that you will find the right therapist in God's perfect timing. 😊 my therapy is going decently but I just started ERP yesterday and I'm a little nervous and confused by it, but I know God will help me through it. :) I pray that you have a blessed day God is in Control! 😀
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Drew777 Neurofeedback is something that helps stimulate your brain. It's soft electronic pulses through a cap and through a felt belt on your abdomen to lightly stimulate your nerves.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Drew777 It works on stimulating anxiety disorder, adhd, depression, and a lot of brain activities. Called EEG, it is just another way to get your brain nerves and other nerves to respond to your anxiety, depression, and just recently I found out, your OCD. Not a lot to the OCD, but a little. After so many sessions they do a brain map to see if anything has changed. You are never put under. You never feel anything whatsoever. But I do believe it has helped me in many ways. Having a therapist would only make it that much better. You should look it up. It's not shock therapy. Trust me, I've been through that before. This is nothing like that.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Drew777 Wishing you well with your ERP, and you have a good day also. The night before last I did a home sleep study to see if my sleep apnea has returned. Just waiting on results 😌 😴. It was quite simple and quite interesting. I'll let you know what I find out. 😉
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@God is in Control Oh, I've heard of that before I think. Even though it's not the same as shock therapy the idea of it still kind of scares me a little bit, I don't know why it does because I'm sure it's harmless and completely fine, but I'm just a big scaredy cat, lol. I'll look it up though and learn more about it. Thanks. :) And thanks, I really appreciate that! 😀 I hope and pray that your sleep apnea hasn't returned and that you'll get the results soon. And yeah, I'd love to know when you find out. :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Drew777 I will let you as soon as I know. About the neurofeedback, it only lasts for about 40 minutes, broken up into about 3 different spots. Talk to you later.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hi God is in Control. To be honest, I don't entirely understand your question. But I'm trying to understand it the more I think about it... You're saying this is just a way you consider things in life? Like instead of thinking of what time it is (right now its 3:15) you'll think of being on the landing of the staircase? Or when you find out how old someone is (for example let's say they're 7 years old) you would consider them to be on the second level of the ladder, correct? These things are just something you do day to day? Is there a specific reason behind why you do it? Or you just simply do it because you do it?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w ago
I have constantly been feeling like if I hit one arm, I have to hit the other and if I set something down and it just didn’t look right or feel right I had to do it again or I had to move it to a different spot in my room I’ve had never been a clean freak, which is mainly what I get told is OCD And I don’t know if I should even have this app. I don’t know if I actually have it. I’m constantly worried that I did something in my past that harmed others and that’s why people don’t like me or I’m constantly worried People are constantly watching me and I don’t know if that’s OCD or if I have it so please tell me I will delete this app and never think of it again if I don’t I just really wanna know
- Date posted
- 7w ago
Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.
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- Date posted
- 6w ago
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
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