- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
- Date posted
- 3y
I am very sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. I have experienced varying degrees and durations of dp/dr since 2014 as a result of meditation, particularly following multi-day retreats which consisted of upwards of 9 hours of meditation per day. The longest bout following a retreat was several years back and lasted close to three months. I stopped meditating this past January after a decade of dedicated practice with a Zen community and although I miss the connection my mental health is far better overall as a result. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine who was a long time meditator and upon seeking help from a therapist was diagnosed with OCD as well. Unfortunately, meditation is perceived as a a panacea for stress, depression, anxiety, etc, but for many, it has adverse effects that are not well publicized. If anyone recommends meditation to for you right now please don’t move in that direction, and if you’re currently meditating, even for shorter durations using apps like headspace or calm, please consider discontinuing your practice to see if your symptoms lessen. Hope that this is helpful.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Me!
- Date posted
- 3y
heyyy!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
for sure
- Date posted
- 3y
I have experienced depersonalization! I find it very difficult! I hope you feel better soon!
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I think I've felt it, or at least something like it (it might've been dissociation or some kind of depression, I'm not completely sure), and it was hands down the scariest sh*t I've ever experienced. It went away eventually, but it was really hard in the moment. I think it's a good idea to attempt to accept how you're feeling and not fight it; if you tell yourself that you're wrong for feeling the way that you are, that's only going to make it harder. Be gentle with yourself as best you can - I'm here if you need to talk.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so so much!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi there! Totally understand where you are coming from! I felt this way when I was in a very bad OCD episode, and it just felt terribly. Please, please remember that this will NOT last forever. I found that continuing with my ERP therapy and practicing my exposures on a daily basis really helped me. Show yourself compassion during this time. You could also try some grounding techniques to help if things get really frightening. You've got this!
- Date posted
- 3y
You are amazing. Thank you so so so much. I appreciate your kindness and empathy so much!!
- Date posted
- 3y
HIIII, FRIENDS !!! I have been depersonalizing for almost 4 months and it’s so frightening to continue to exist as someone that I do not connect with or recognize. I would love to hear and discuss your experiences as well.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this!! It is so distressing. I've experienced depersonalization since I was a child, and there was a time I was out of it for a year or so. I went to therapy and worked on my social anxiety, depression, and trauma and it faded. It does take time but you can feel real again.
- Date posted
- 3y
@nicocd Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind words of support and empathy. I have experienced it when I was younger as well, but now here it is again and becoming so very powerful over my life! Do you have any coping suggestions? So sorry that you have had to battle this as well. I’m with you in solidarity and always here to offer support.
- Date posted
- 3y
hello ! I've experienced both derealization and depersonalization but for me depersonalization was harder to deal with (currently dealing with depersonalization again but it's not as bad as my previous experience). whenever i look at the mirror or take a picture i don't recognize myself and it feels like my 'actual' self is separated with my body. to be honest my depersonalization comes (usually after an ocd relapse) and goes (takes me a long time to feel like myself again) but pampering myself, doing things i love/doing things that im passionate about, jamming/vibing to my favourite songs helped a lot. take your time, sometimes it feels really bad sometimes it's just meh or not that bad, don't stress about it too much, from what I've watched about someone who used to suffer from severe depersonalization they said that if you pay more attention to it it'll feel more scary. if u have any other questions feel free to ask me and i hope you feel better again soon, goodluck ! <3 :)
- Date posted
- 3y
@<3 OMG, THANK YOU!!! This literally described EXACTLY what I am experiencing. The mirror is so triggering because it’s always like I do not recognize myself and feel outside of the body of the person that I’m looking at. It FREAKS me out And THEN that pairs with my existential OCD. Thank you for offering advice, support, and for sharing your experience. I’m always here to listen.
- Date posted
- 1y
@ac (she/her) did it ever go away? i’ve been having dpdr for months, 24/7, no breaks. it’s been hell
- Date posted
- 1y
@minezm16 Oh, I absolutely hear you! It IS absolute hell. So terrifying and so isolating. I promise it can get better! It has for me and I hope the very same for you! I’ve come to learn that depersonalization is a form of protection from feeling like you’ll mentally explode. It’s hard to believe that it’s a form of protection when it feels so scary. What has worked best for me is not to fight it. Allowing it to come and go as it likes and accepting its presence and knowing there is nothing wrong with you and nothing to solve. ❤️
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi guys! I’m new to the community and I’ve recently received my OCD diagnosis (tho I’ve known about it since childhood). I’ve been somewhat spiraling lately as I wait for my first ERP session (hooray!) I was just wondering if any of you guys have received ERP for existential OCD and if it was successful? My existential OCD compulsions are more so mental and have been affecting me in the sense of dream/memory flashbacks and giving me a sort of “uncanny” feeling about everything around me. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you❤️
- Date posted
- 17w
I keep seeing coupled numbers or angel numbers and having dejvu and in my mind when I get constant Deja Vu which in my mind means something bad is about ti happen I have had it 6 times today 3 in the last hour and I honestly feel like I'm going insane whether its Deja Vu of the numbers it causes me to question every action I make. If I see the numbers or get Deja Vu it dictates my day and I can't live this way anymore. Everyone I try and talk to doesn't understand and there is no way I can ever tell anyone about my violent intrusive thoughts the one time I did my mother called the police. Sorry for the run-on sentences and if it doesn't flow right I'm just really struggling right now and have been for a long time and I just want help I'm scared of my own mind. Thank you for whoever answers this post just one person would sadly make my day.
- Date posted
- 16w
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
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