Is there anyone with Racism themed OCD? I've been really struggling with this taboo theme & I'm finding it hard to function/find myself avoiding people out of fear of being perceived as racist. I constantly worry that I'm being perceived as racist. I'm white, I consider myself to be an ally of BIPOC and to work on being anti-racist. Lately though, I get hit with a ton of intrusive thoughts about coming across as racist when I speak to a BIPOC, which causes anxiety, which my anxiety probably then appears racist to the other person. I can't imagine what BIPOC have to endure on a daily basis just because of their skin color, so I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this or if other people struggle with this OCD theme. To be honest, it's pretty severe and it's attacking my core, because this "theme" feels opposite to what I value (being an ally, fighting to be anti-racist & dismantle racism) & who I am. I can tell that other people notice I'm anxious, and I just hate that I'm displaying nervousness because I'm sure it makes the other person uncomfortable. I know I'm coming off as anxious to other people. I know it because I'm trying so hard not to be perceived as racist, to get the interaction "right", that interactions just get weird, anxiety filled & awkward & I'm sure the other person is like wtf, this person is a racist. I don't know how to stop getting so lost in my head. I've tried to tell myself "Maybe I am a sick, racist human being, oh well", but that doesn't help because I don't agree with that statement.

Username: Orange-Colored_GlassesOrange-Color...

Date posted: 3y ago

The response prevention message you’re using sounds a bit harsh. The message should reinforce the uncertainty you feel and remind you not to do compulsions, not beat you up! How about “maybe I made them uncomfortable, maybe I didn’t; there’s no way to know for sure.” “Maybe everyone has thoughts like these, or maybe they don’t. Thinking about it won’t help me find the answer.” I’m sorry you’re going through this. Remember that the goal of ERP is not to get rid of the thoughts, but rather to learn to coexist with them peacefully. Be aware that ERP itself could become compulsive if you’re thinking that ERP will make you a better anti-racist. When in doubt, lean gently into the uncertainty and discomfort. Best of luck x

Username: DealingwithOCD_DealingwithOCD_

Date posted: 3y ago

I’ve heard that OCD attacks our values. So it makes sense that it is attacking your values about being an ally. My ocd attacked my values and it was scary. I know it’s hard.

Username: OCDpashaOCDpasha

Date posted: 3y ago

No you’re not alone. It isn’t my primary theme but I have it. My thoughts on the subject are extremely explicit and offensive and in the past I’ve wondered if it really was OCD because of how detailed the thoughts are and how they come up in such varied situations. I get nervous mostly around strangers and also around friends sometimes. I worry if it’s noticeable and assume what others are thinking when they’re around me as well. With that and every other theme I have I try to practice acceptance and say “well maybe I am but so what, I can change/live with it etc.”, that’s just temporary too, it doesn’t stop the cycle. And I consider myself as highly anti every form of racism. It’s completely opposed to everything I believe in and have always believed in. But what OCD usually does is find what’s the most abhorrent thing to you and tries to convince you to the absolute best of its ability that that’s what you are. But you’re not, even if part of you believes you are. Even if you’re almost fully convinced you are. I know that reassurances like that don’t ultimately convince. But you’re not alone and there is hope. You’re doing the right thing getting help for this

Username: Anon Y. MousAnon Y. Mous

Date posted: 3y ago

Racism-themed OCD…that term is rather new to me, yet the more I come across it, the more I suspect I have it.

Username: smu johnsonsmu johnson

Date posted: 3y ago

If our society wasn’t so obsessed about race I think you wouldn’t suffer from this. Not your fault.

Username: canigetawitness

Date posted: 3y ago

Racism OCD. Thinking I'm a bad person and feel ashamed around POC I know this is going to sound horrible, but I've recently started to worry when I'm around POC, like im an annoyance. I didn't start to worry like this until a few months ago. I don't know what's happened. I notice myself when I'm on a walk or out in public that I'll start to feel anxiety that I'm racist. Or maybe when I see a POC I automatically assume they think I'm racist? I know I'm white and part of the systemic racism problem & that I'm privileged to be a white man. I consider myself to be a Black Lives Matter/People of Color ally. I just don't know why I'm anxious. I'm pretty sure POC around me can tell as well. I don't know why my anxiety has picked up on this. Does anyone else struggle with this?

Username: canigetawitness

Date posted: 3y ago

Convinced I'm a racist, even though it's the complete opposite of my morals & what I believe. - - - - - - I've currently been struggling with something that is going to make me sound like a piece of shit, even I recognize how messed up it's going to sound. Over the past couple months, I have been worrying about the proper way to interact with POC without coming across as racist. I know, this is already awful. I consider myself to be an ally who supports POC & civil rights movements. I'm ashamed of white people honestly, we've oppressed POC from the beginning of time. I'm personally ashamed of my white ethnicity. I've been even more so in the past year. I feel like my OCD has recently attached to this though. At least, I think it has, or maybe it's guilt knowing I'm white and part of systemic racism problem as a whole. When I pass a POC on the street, or in a place of business, I'll immediately start to get thoughts like "Am I coming across as rude? Am I being nice enough? Am I being too nice? Am I smiling too much? Am I smiling enough? Do I look uncomfortable? This isn't about me, so why am I anxious? Stop being so self centered. Are you appearing racist? What if this POC thinks I'm racist? That's awful to assume what they think. Stop making this about you!" And basically the entire time I'm trying to interact with someone of color, I have all this anxious dialogue in my head and I probably physically appear to be anxious, which in turn I'm sure the other person thinks "Why are they acting so tense/afraid?" It's not that I'm afraid, or dislike POC, I'm way too overly cautious, I recognize that, and it's actually coming across as racist. And I don't want to make this about me, because it's not, I can only imagine the racism POC have to endure on a daily basis. It's like my own OCD/anxiety is getting in the way. I hate it. I want to get over it. I don't know why it's coming up, but I want to get past this.

Username: canigetawitness

Date posted: 3y ago

How do you open up to your therapist about very taboo OCD themes. I currently struggle with "Race OCD", always worrying if I'm coming across as racist to BIPOC. Racism is something that I find horrendous and awful. I consider myself to be an ally to BIPOC & to work and fight racism. So the fact that I'm worrying over interactions with people is complete opposite to my values. I act awkward around people, and I'm sure my anxiety is coming off as strange to people. I just don't know how to open up to my therapist about this without sounding like a piece of s***.

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