Is there anyone with Racism themed OCD? I've been really struggling with this taboo theme & I'm finding it hard to function/find myself avoiding people out of fear of being perceived as racist. I constantly worry that I'm being perceived as racist. I'm white, I consider myself to be an ally of BIPOC and to work on being anti-racist. Lately though, I get hit with a ton of intrusive thoughts about coming across as racist when I speak to a BIPOC, which causes anxiety, which my anxiety probably then appears racist to the other person. I can't imagine what BIPOC have to endure on a daily basis just because of their skin color, so I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this or if other people struggle with this OCD theme. To be honest, it's pretty severe and it's attacking my core, because this "theme" feels opposite to what I value (being an ally, fighting to be anti-racist & dismantle racism) & who I am. I can tell that other people notice I'm anxious, and I just hate that I'm displaying nervousness because I'm sure it makes the other person uncomfortable. I know I'm coming off as anxious to other people. I know it because I'm trying so hard not to be perceived as racist, to get the interaction "right", that interactions just get weird, anxiety filled & awkward & I'm sure the other person is like wtf, this person is a racist. I don't know how to stop getting so lost in my head. I've tried to tell myself "Maybe I am a sick, racist human being, oh well", but that doesn't help because I don't agree with that statement.

The response prevention message you’re using sounds a bit harsh. The message should reinforce the uncertainty you feel and remind you not to do compulsions, not beat you up! How about “maybe I made them uncomfortable, maybe I didn’t; there’s no way to know for sure.” “Maybe everyone has thoughts like these, or maybe they don’t. Thinking about it won’t help me find the answer.” I’m sorry you’re going through this. Remember that the goal of ERP is not to get rid of the thoughts, but rather to learn to coexist with them peacefully. Be aware that ERP itself could become compulsive if you’re thinking that ERP will make you a better anti-racist. When in doubt, lean gently into the uncertainty and discomfort. Best of luck x

I’ve heard that OCD attacks our values. So it makes sense that it is attacking your values about being an ally. My ocd attacked my values and it was scary. I know it’s hard.

No you’re not alone. It isn’t my primary theme but I have it. My thoughts on the subject are extremely explicit and offensive and in the past I’ve wondered if it really was OCD because of how detailed the thoughts are and how they come up in such varied situations. I get nervous mostly around strangers and also around friends sometimes. I worry if it’s noticeable and assume what others are thinking when they’re around me as well. With that and every other theme I have I try to practice acceptance and say “well maybe I am but so what, I can change/live with it etc.”, that’s just temporary too, it doesn’t stop the cycle. And I consider myself as highly anti every form of racism. It’s completely opposed to everything I believe in and have always believed in. But what OCD usually does is find what’s the most abhorrent thing to you and tries to convince you to the absolute best of its ability that that’s what you are. But you’re not, even if part of you believes you are. Even if you’re almost fully convinced you are. I know that reassurances like that don’t ultimately convince. But you’re not alone and there is hope. You’re doing the right thing getting help for this

Racism-themed OCD…that term is rather new to me, yet the more I come across it, the more I suspect I have it.

If our society wasn’t so obsessed about race I think you wouldn’t suffer from this. Not your fault.