What would would happen if we follow our doubts and change our will? (instead of following our morality and suffering because of our ocd) I am wondering (Probably just another ocd doubt) All the toughs that let us scared, take us that way because our will is "against" the toughs, right? I meant, obviously only for those thoughts that doesn't harm anyone! For example I have the doubt "maby my man don't like me anymore/ maby I don't like him enough" what if instead of struggling with anxiety, stress and my own body I just broke up with him? That's not what I want; yeah, but I don't want to be always questioning and stressing myself either! What if we follow ocd instead of our will?

Jeanie12

Date posted: 3y

It would just latch on to something else. It would be a compulsion. Everything we did would be a compulsion. I know my husband is incredible and worth every bit of fight I am giving OCD. We deserve to have healthy relationships. I guess it depends on how important your relationship is to you! Or was to you before OCD took over!

Saraa

Date posted: 3y

Yeah; i understand that... but my rocd; even If I am in therapy, gets stronger and stronger all the times that I see my boyfriend... and each time is worse! Even if I learned to throw away doubts, now bad feelings stay, and I have to choose between cry for like an half hour ( I think it release all the stress; because that way I actually enjoy the other times of the date) or stay anxious for all the time! Also, sometimes I feel guilty thinking that he deserve someone better than me! Furthermore, I start to forget about all the really good moments we had! It is like if wen ocd strikes, I connect to my boyfriend all the bed emotions, and the only chance I have to "survive" is to run away! I know it is wrong, and I really don't want it, but it is getting worse and harder in those time restist to the urge of breaking up! How do you "get out" from those moments? (Hoping that you don't have, but in case haha)

Redyroo

Date posted: 3y

I’ve already tried it and broke up with my bf SEVERAL times because of these exact thoughts and instantly whenever I did it I’d regret it because like you, I also didn’t want it but was also really sick of it and just wanted an escape. When you do break up, your ocd now starts saying “see they never really liked me, they aren’t even chasing after me” or “now he’s going to go with someone else and kiss/ have sex with another woman because he can, he’s single now”. Trust me, breaking up is not the answer, it’s another compulsion and another means to escape/avoid the feelings of anxiety/pain that the thoughts bring. Remember that ocd thoughts aren’t real, the solution is nothing, the more serious you take them, the more power they have over your life. Call them out, laugh at them but whatever you do, do not believe them. Once you believe them, you’re in serious danger

Saraa

Date posted: 3y

Thank you again. I reached the point that even if I see my him, the second after he go away I start to cry. Everything is going well, but with all the anxiety accumulated, and all the bad moments and memories caused by ocd; I feel like I can't be myself anymore and I don't know if it is still worth fighting or not... but you gave me some hope!

crc_1394

Date posted: 3y

I feel this. My thoughts about leaving or breaking up and finally being “free” have honestly been making my anxiety decrease and go away. So that makes the whole idea more alluring and makes it seem better to break up rather than stay together. We’re all tried of these cycles and deserve to live our relationships thru. All while working on ourselves. Compulsions and ocd are tricky. Especially when mixed with our fatigue of ocd in general and the separate problems it creates in our lives/relationships. Best of luck to all of you.

Saraa

Date posted: 3y

YES; EXACTLY. I know that if I break up with him, things will return to "normal" and I would regain myself. It happened with my ex, I had the exact same doubts, and I (before therapy) acted in the same way. I really want to change things, but I don't know it it is possible, or is better to be single forever haha... and the fact that now it has been a couple of months that I am mostly without good feelings (or maybe the ocd make me think this way, I dunno) make me keep question about "is all af this worth it? If you are alone you would immediately feel better!". Probably another "intrusive think" but it is kind of true, and i'm scared that one of these days I will fall and listen to this! Thank you btw; you made me feel so understood! Sorry I'm Italian; still have some problems with English haha

Redyroo

Date posted: 3y

Think about this right, if you were to be with someone new, do you think that the same thoughts will come up? Will you be able to trust them or will the same doubts crop up? That’s when you know it’s your ocd talking

Saraa

Date posted: 3y

I never saw it this way, maybe this could be a really good game changer. It is a very good point of view actually!! Thank you soooo much!!!!

polish_germa...

Date posted: 19w

Can OCD make you question whether you’ve ever truly felt sexual desire?

I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.

Secretidentity

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17w

Please help

Recently my ocd keeps asking me if I love my boyfriend enough and that if I don’t love him enough I should breakup with him. It’s really bothering me and idk what to do about it. Sitting in the uncertainty is too much and I fear sitting with it too long I’m just gonna crack and give in to a compulsion.

Relationship OCD

kitchensink234

Date posted: 17w

Wanted or unwanted thoughts?

Help! My OCD has caught onto this thought for awhile and I keep spinning on it. I know you are supposed to follow your values and what your actions suggest with OCD, but what if that is even blurry right know? For example my whole life I wanted to be with a man, and now my OCD is having major intrusive thoughts about women. How do you tell if those thoughts are wanted or not? I can’t figure out if I like the thoughts or not. I’m trying to live the life “I want” but what if I don’t know what that is?

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