I do
How have you been dealing with this? Mine is a bit all over the place, some days great, some bad. ERP is helping but it's a challenge
We’re engaged!
Congratulations! It's so difficult to have your soulmate and then have SOOCD come into the picture.
@ChristineKJ Thank you :( it absolutely breaks my heart though. I feel like there’s too much proof and I’m living this lie
I'm not married but I live with my soulmate of over 5 years and I hope we'll marry! I struggle because I'm bisexual and my OCD tells me I should be with a woman instead even though I love my partner and we have the healthiest, most communicative and wonderful relationship.
So happy for y'all! I relate to this so much! I identify at straight but have very similar fears that what if I should be with a woman instead, despite having such an incredible relationship and never having dealt with OCD doubts before. It's crazy how a theme can truly taint all aspects of your relationship sometimes!
@ChristineKJ Same ChristineKJ. I identify as straight, love my boyfriend with my entire heart. But scared I’m “missing” something. Like evidence
@run99 Yep, my OCD does that too. I get intrusive thoughts about how being intimate with a woman is what I'm "missing" or that I'm just suppressing the truth. It's awful
@ChristineKJ I’m so sorry you experience that too. You are not alone. Doesn’t make it suck any less but
I relate so much. We have been together for 12 years, since I was 17. He is everything to me, I love him more than anything else in the world and cannot bear the thought of losing him. What's extra tricky is that I am not totally sure that I am 100% straight because I had these immense admirations for some women when I was a teenager and I worry that they could have been real crushes. It's what I obsess constantly about. Or that, if I really was bisexual, I would have to experience it and not be allowed to just stay with my boyfriend for the rest of my life. But we have to remember that in the end, our sexuality is irrelevant. We don't have to be sure what it is, we have to be comfortable with not ever being entirely sure instead...
@hyperactivebrain Sounds like your OCD is trying to find things to latch onto in your past! Mine has done that too. I feel so similarly, like that there's this urge to go experiment with women because my OCD insists that I'm missing something. It's awful.
I think working with a NOCD therapists and really going deep into what scares you will help. I hope you choose to take the first step. So many therapists work with these types of things and can really provide. You with the tools to help you learn skills and things to help yourself. Keep going! You can do this.
I'm starting to see a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel... Is it like, when you learn to fear the 'what if' content less, you are then more level headed to go okay that 'could' happen, but instead of it feeling like it's going to happen you just instead don't find the prospect of it as scary, and your clear head can now decide on what you actually want (which I guess is just carrying on with your life as it is)?