How can I accept uncertainty about a real event that my ocd is latching onto (past mistake)? How can I do erp for it and does anyone have any tips that could possibly help me out? It’s about a mistake I made a long time ago, I think a few years ago, that is haunting me and I feel like it’s so bad that no one could possibly understand and there’s no way I could get better. If anyone has overcome this, do you have any advice that I could use to possibly heal from this or maybe learn something from it? I would truly appreciate it

Thank you for understanding. I have always been my own worst enemy and now that I have ocd it has intensified. I know I would never make the same mistakes again knowing what I know now.

@Just Breathe ❤️ i agree with the person above^^. be kind to yourself !!

navigating the same thing right now. glad to know i’m not alone. but we’re gonna be alright. it seems really scary right now but that fear or “haunting” is never really the truth. it’s always exacerbated by fear. the real thing is much less dramatic than our minds make it out to be. don’t really have much more insight than that, but realizing our brains are stupid and that we don’t have to listen to them all time is okay. it’s just trying to protect you but sometimes you know better. just trust your instincts and realize you’re doing better than most for even looking somewhat inward in the first place. most people don’t do any internal work and can’t figure out why they feel like crap. if you bring it up w a therapist they are not there to judge, and if they do, find a new one. but you don’t have to confess your guts out because that can actually be dangerous. i would suggest just working through how the event makes you feel, which might not even warrant you talking about the event at all. and if you do talk about it, do it slow and steady. no rush here.

@struggling but still here You are definitely not alone. I’m just terrified. I never wanted to be and don’t want to be a bad person. I was younger and stupid at the time and if I would of know then what I know now it would of never happened in the first place. Could it possibly be that I’m just being too hard on myself I don’t know but I have talked to my mom about it and my first therapist I had and they both pretty much told me to let it go and move forward but it’s hard. I haven’t talked to my current therapist about it yet but maybe one day I will talk to her about it. Thank you for the advice I appreciate it and I hope you feel better as well

@Just Breathe ❤️ thank you <3 look, this idea that we’re bad people is a lie. bad people don’t question whether they’re bad people. in fact, they realize it and they don’t care. the fact that you care enough, even to look that far into your past for evidence of being a bad person means you’re a lot less bad than you think, if at all. i’m not trying to discount your fears, but realize that you are doing well just for being aware of it. i don’t need to know what you’ve done or how bad what you’ve done is to realize that the very intent to do good or to feel remorse for what you’ve done makes you better than you think. letting go of that deep emotion is a hard process that comes with time. i think with time we learn to release the internalized negativity we hold on to and we’re more empathetic because of our mistakes because we see ourselves in other people. this idea that “who are we to judge others for making mistakes?” if you can recognize that empathy in your life, that’s the biggest contribution you can make to release that energy from yourself into the world. it might sound dumb but putting your best foot forward and being empathetic really helps you be at peace with yourself despite your mistakes. above all, realize we’re all just winging it and nobody knows what they’re doing and we screw up a lot along the way. it just takes time to let all of it go. just take a deep breath and we’ll both take this thing day by day. you got this!

@Just Breathe ❤️ all things considered just be a little more kind to yourself :)

@struggling but still here You’re totally right I never really thought of it that way. I just went for worst case scenario and assumed I was a bad person when in all reality if I was one I wouldn’t feel the amount of guilt or regret I do feel. Let’s just say when I was younger I had a weird fetish and I struggled with masturbation and I would look up weird memes or whatever about that fetish not knowing what I was getting into I was just young and had no bad intention at all I was just into the fetish itself it has nothing to do with certain people or anything it was the subject of it. It’s more embarrassing now than ever to even talk about it but let’s just say it’s a normal everyday thing that got turned into a weird fetish about tickling which yeah I know stupid but it’s what I came across as a teen and now I regret it so much. But it’s because masturbation was involved with the fetish it brings on even more shame and guilt. Also just the stuff I came across on ifunny (which is what I had at the time) I again didn’t realize it and later regretted it. I don’t know how to explain it without it sounding bad but I promise it had nothing to do with anything but just the fetish itself and not whoever was in the meme or gif or clip or whatever I came across on that stupid app if that makes sense. I never intentionally looked up anything except for the fetish itself and maybe a couple other ones because I was young and curious and well, stupid. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression that I’m a horrible monster. Because I know deep down that was never the intention. I’m a Christian and I’m a woman with many morals. It breaks my heart that I was so dumb when I was younger. I would never make the same mistakes again. Please don’t judge or hate me or whatever. Like you said nobody knows what they are doing and it just takes time to let it go. I’m hoping one day I can do just that

Thank you I really appreciate your advice and kindness. I’m really beating myself up because of what happened. No one else was even involved it was my own doing but I didn’t know at the time it was bad it was just because I was young and well hormonal I guess. I’m not trying to make excuses for myself or anything I take full responsibility and I wish I could go back and punch myself. I don’t know if you’ve read what I commented about my real event but if you have I hope you don’t think the worst of me. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m a terrible monster. I’m just scared that I’m a horrible monster that needs to be locked up for it and that’s what scares me most. Maybe I’m overthinking it and maybe ocd is twisting it because it doesn’t make sense that one day I was fine and then all of a sudden it feels like the worlds gonna end because of my mistake that at the time didn’t even know any better. I appreciate your help thank you!