- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi Acronym1l, OCD can latch onto anything and make you doubt it. The fact that your intrusive thoughts can feel so real is why this illness can be such a struggle, because sometimes it is very hard to tell what is real or not. You said this was your first theme, but has come back with a vengeance. Is there any specific event or thought that cause this to come back so severe? Have you tried using the same ERP exercises or sitting with uncertainty that you used before to manage it? I have had many of my themes that I thought were under control flare up again due to stress or some event and then taper off with ERP/ telling my thoughts “so what” about whatever they wanted definitive answers on. If you have been doing very well recently and not dwelling in doubt and feeding your OCD bully, this may be its way of lashing out to get your attention since it knows it can, as you mentioned it was so hard to get over. Whatever you used to get your SOCD under control last time, try doing that again. Just remember you are not your intrusive thoughts. If your OCD tells you what if you never liked any of your past crushes, tell it maybe you didn’t maybe you didnt, you can’t change the past so what does it matter if you know if you did or not. Try not to actively deny or acknowledge the intrusive thought, which I know you know is easier said than done, just let them pop up tell them “yeah whatever I’m going about my life” and try not to give them any more time or power over you. Ultimately, try to tell your ocd, “I’m me, I can like whomever I want to like, either way I’m still me and you can’t change that. I don’t owe you an answer, because you’re going to make me doubt myself either way so I’m done listening to you, good bye.” Stay strong, you have overcome this before and you can do so again. Practice your ERP and don’t give attention or dwell on the OCD bully’s thoughts or doubts, as difficult as it may be. You can do this.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for the advices!
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonym1l - Take care of yourself and glad I could help.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 20w
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- Date posted
- 12w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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