- Date posted
- 3y ago
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hi Acronym1l, OCD can latch onto anything and make you doubt it. The fact that your intrusive thoughts can feel so real is why this illness can be such a struggle, because sometimes it is very hard to tell what is real or not. You said this was your first theme, but has come back with a vengeance. Is there any specific event or thought that cause this to come back so severe? Have you tried using the same ERP exercises or sitting with uncertainty that you used before to manage it? I have had many of my themes that I thought were under control flare up again due to stress or some event and then taper off with ERP/ telling my thoughts “so what” about whatever they wanted definitive answers on. If you have been doing very well recently and not dwelling in doubt and feeding your OCD bully, this may be its way of lashing out to get your attention since it knows it can, as you mentioned it was so hard to get over. Whatever you used to get your SOCD under control last time, try doing that again. Just remember you are not your intrusive thoughts. If your OCD tells you what if you never liked any of your past crushes, tell it maybe you didn’t maybe you didnt, you can’t change the past so what does it matter if you know if you did or not. Try not to actively deny or acknowledge the intrusive thought, which I know you know is easier said than done, just let them pop up tell them “yeah whatever I’m going about my life” and try not to give them any more time or power over you. Ultimately, try to tell your ocd, “I’m me, I can like whomever I want to like, either way I’m still me and you can’t change that. I don’t owe you an answer, because you’re going to make me doubt myself either way so I’m done listening to you, good bye.” Stay strong, you have overcome this before and you can do so again. Practice your ERP and don’t give attention or dwell on the OCD bully’s thoughts or doubts, as difficult as it may be. You can do this.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you so much for the advices!
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anonym1l - Take care of yourself and glad I could help.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- Date posted
- 11w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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