what to do when you see a trigger?

I’m having hitman ocd thoughts and I feel like I’m gunna google how to hire a hitman UGH so it feels like I’m gunna type that and I can’t use google so as erp I’m using google but this is fucked

One problem - Various themes This is my first post. I had a relapse a few months ago. Life was amazing and then boom, I got triggered by something and started spiralling about my sexuality (having finally been at peace for two years, entered a healthy new relationship and come out of the closet as an older women). How do you, when you're not triggered practice ERP? I'm able to try and accept the thoughts every time I see a man. What should I be doing when I don't encounter these triggers. I was to say as well that I also am starting to get real event OCD about some of the sexual things I did in the past when I was married and in an unhealthy toxic relationship with my ex husband. I am shamed and disgusted and I'm working on it but there's a certain subsection of the LGBTQ community that trigger these thoughts, groinals and thing for me... I feel like I'm beginning to realise I need to maybe be a little more active in my recovery instead of waiting for triggers... But I don't know how

i saw an instagram reel and i noticed a disturbing sight of a trigger with a noticeable bottom and the very moment i noticed and compulsively looked to check i felt a groinal response. what does this mean?