Why is my mind trying to turn me into a horrible and violent person?? This has never been me ever, i just want it to stop!!

Breathe. I suffer from barn ocd as well. Its an awful thing but remember these intrusive thoughts and feelings aren't yours. You're better and not sure if it will help you but its done wonders for me to look up statistics. I have found that 98% of people that suffer never act on these terrible thoughts. Simple reasoning is that they aren't yours to act on. Exposure therapy helps as well but make sure you are working with an expert that knows how to guide you with that. Its a trying thing and I know this is hell I'm living with it every day. I hope it gets easier for you. Remember you are strong and important and loved. You got this! We fight together!

I suffer from harm ocd as well and can relate to this but my ocd is like 98% don’t act in their thoughts but what if I’m one of the small 2% that does. Ocd just sucks it makes me feel like I’m going crazy and the worst thing is that I feel lost in who I am I just want to get better!

I meant I suffer from harm* ocd. My phone put barn by mistake lol. Anyway remember to stay strong. You are a warrior!

Exactly how I’m feeling right now :/

Your mind isn’t necessarily trying to turn you into a bad person, it’s giving all these thoughts to “protect” you from turning into a bad person. All the compulsions are to make you feel like you need to do them so you don’t turn into that. When in reality, you don’t need to pay attention to those thoughts. I know much Easier said than done. But with ERP you will be able to tolerate the thoughts more. And even if you are in ERP now, it will get better soon I promise! :)