Does anyone else feel like especially with harm ocd like they are actually these bad people and want to act on their thoughts. It’s a very scary feeling because when I look at myself I have so much disgust cause it feels like Im actually this person. It feels scary cause it makes me feel like this is who I truly am and get sad because I feel like a disappointment especially to my parents. I hate this feeling and I miss when ocd first started and felt simple. The more i have ocd the more confusing it is and the more I feel like I’m this horrible evil person.

Does anyone imagine they are doing their harm thoughts during an action, making you feel like you acted on your thoughts? For example, someone gave me a hug and at the last second I imagined I was touching something I shouldn’t during the hug? I want to make it clear it’s something I have zero desire to do! But the problem is, I thought it on purpose and it makes me sick !! Obviously nothing happened but my mind is telling me that was me trying to do it. Even though it was physically impossible to do. Am I a monster or could this be OCD? I’m freaking out and don’t want to be here anymore. I feel like I’m the exception and that this isn’t OCD. I know I post about this stuff a lot but I’m struggling and don’t know what to do.

harm ocd is the bane of my existence. people always tell me that if you have anxiety over a thought, that’s ocd. and these intrusive thoughts cause me IMMENSE anxiety. i’m constantly looking for reasons why i’m not what these thoughts tell me i am. but WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?? it’s like i can’t reassure myself that this isn’t me and i don’t want to do it, but i also look for reasons why it’s not me. my brain is constantly telling me “if you don’t act on this, you’ll never feel free”. WHAT EVEN IS THAT?? and why does it feel real?? anytime i think about getting therapy, i constantly think that it’s not going to help me positively but help me realize i am this person. i just wish someone with harm ocd could get into my brain, understand me, and tell me everything will be okay. i wish someone in recovery could tell me that they’ve been where i am, felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts, and got through it when they thought they wouldn’t. i feel like i’m drowning in it. another thing is i think about how my mom knows a surface level understanding to this form of my ocd, but if she knew it all, i’m scared she’d never look at me the same. i’m scared she’d be scared of me and think i need psychiatric help. IM TERRIFIED.

man these few weeks have been so hard. i’m in the process of getting diagnosed with ocd, im almost positive i have it because everything on here relates to me on an insane level. but im just so scared dude. these thoughts of me harming someone are so scary and im so scared im gonna eventually act on them and i know i never want to but its still so scary. like sometimes when i talk to my mom about it i think in the back of my head “you know you want to” when i dont, and it makes me think or gets me scared that i do. these thoughts literally just happened out of nowhere and it messes me up so bad my literal perspective on life in general is just messed up. like i view life as its more common to be a bad person and its rare/hard to be good. can someone please just pray for me or just wish me better days. i dont even like looking at myself anymore and im scared i give off creepy vibes to myself or others now, this sucks so much