- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for sharing your current experience. I would say that you should be very proud of yourself for 1st noticing the anxiety, distress, and discomfort and letting those feelings of anxiety, fear, etc. be there.This is a perfect time to as I like to say "practice" ERP. Practice not analyzing any of those points you mentioned and place your attention on this present moment. Feel your feet on the ground, take a deep breathe, go for a walk, read, go hangout with a close companion, or play a sport. Not avoiding the discomfort, but choosing to do things you want to do and not give any attention to dwelling on that.The most important part being the response prevention. Not easy, but part of the work. When this type of situation occurs and we are in environments in which we are organically exposed to distress, use this as an opportunity to practice doing the work! This allows for two things; showing yourself you can handle and tolerate it, and also letting your body know that although you feel uncomfortable you are willing to keep doing whatever it is you are doing and getting on with your day! This is the foundation!
- Date posted
- 3y
I get very very very bad moral ocd. I think two things: a good way to understand what’s you and what’s ocd is to give it a voice/name and let it talk. And when you hear it talking ask “is that ocd” and let it respond. Most the time for me it answers grumpily but that just confirms it. My second thing, it is IMPOSSIBLE to say one thing is good and one thing is bad. We have a general idea but it’s imessuable. For me when it comes to people I don’t need in my life, even though it’s hard to remove judgement and emotion I have to take a moment to say “is this person helping or hurting me?” You’re aloud to feel hurt and that’s so valid and you can also bring some wise mind into it. Also, my ocd sometimes is better organized with pros and cons I also number them from 1-10 because obv one pro can be better it worse then a single con. This just helps to organize the mess of thoughts. I just have to make sure not to turn it into a compulsion and only use it for rly important decisions
- Date posted
- 3y
It depends how bad is bad
- Date posted
- 3y
This is a huge huge struggle for me and my relationship. My OCD acts like the morality police towards my partner- mentally shaming him and punishing him for things that even I have done. He’s not perfect and hes screwed up before big time. But my brain can’t accept loving this person anyway- it always tells me to leave or get rid of him because he’s “bad” and has done “bad things”. It is really difficult to separate the two. It does depend on the situation but if you can separate that person from what they’ve done (they are not their mistakes, just like we are not our thoughts), then you might have better luck deciding how to move forward
- Date posted
- 3y
Like has he cheated on you? Because Cheating is a big deal and it wouldn’t have anything to do with OCD if you were really pissed off and judging him for that because Cheating is worthy of being judged Harshly
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 Oh shoot I totally lost the thread of this conversation I thought it was responding to the guy sorry not that I’m not willing to talk about what you’re going through if you want to but I got totally mixed up
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 Haha no worries. But just to play devils advocate, even cheating has grey area. For some people, it’s a total dealbreaker and means the end of their relationship. For others, they choose to work through it. Morality is relative to your personal values and not everything is as black and white as it seems
- Date posted
- 3y
@rewilding Cheating should be. Unless there’s been really specific rules and guidelines to stuff like that certain place before the relationship Cheating should be dealt with harshly. 99% of cheaters are never sorry and I hate seeing a cheater happy because they don’t deserve it
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 Right, and if that’s your values, then if you ever had to deal with that situation, you would know what to do. But not everyone feels the same. That’s all I’m trying to say ☺️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
This isn't OCD related at all, not even a little, and I'm really sorry, but I feel so panicked and overwhelmed right now and I need an outlet. So basically, I have this friend and we met online shortly after Christmas, not irl. We got on really well. I felt like I could tell them anything. Whenever I felt sad (which was quite often) they would help so much by just being there for me. Sending cute and reassuring tiktoks to me. I felt like they were the nicest ever. I told them stuff other people might judge me for. They never judged me and they never seemed judgemental. I started noticing some things, like their reposts on Tiktok. I noticed years ago they reposted something very anti LGBTQ+. It hurt, I couldn't understand it. I asked them about it, and they didn't exactly seem like they did hate LGBTQ+ people. I moved on, still unsure. I found recently they reposted something else. I wasn't sure whether this was super offensive, but the tone of the original post FELT offensive. I have a strong moral compass, and these things got to me so much because I'm attached to this person. And then today, I find another thing they reposted, this time about immigration. It had a strong racist tone. I know now that I need to cut them off. I don't want people like that in my life. It's one thing having different views, but I firmly stand by the idea that you should agree with those around you about things like this. But I'm so distressed. I feel so attached to them. None of this seems like them at all. They seem like such a kind, non judgemental person. I would sit waiting for their text. I would feel so happy to hear from them. We text non stop. We have loads in common. They never judged me. I thought I finally found someone who actually wanted to be my friend, who actually liked me. I'm going to feel empty and numb, and I'm trying not to cry while writing this. Who will I have? Nobody to expect a text from. Nobody to ask about my day. Nobody to send me cute pictures to cheer me up. I actually feel like I'll never get past this. I feel so lonely all the time and they were there for me when no one else was. I feel so numb and I'm terrified. Sorry again that this isn't OCD related. I just didn't know what to do.
- Date posted
- 22w
kind of a longer post. putting a trigger warning just incase but nothing really insanely triggering is mentioned. currently trying to slowly pull away from a toxic friendship. i’ve been friends with someone for almost 4 years and since i met her i’ve felt like i have been living a lie. to make a long story short, i’ve been feeling sort of like a doormat being walked on in this friendship. it’s hard for me to speak up for myself and with someone like her whose super outspoken about her own opinions and interests etc it’s hard for me to speak up and not just agree and move on. this has boiled into me just not being myself at all. i know to those who don’t experience this it’ll sound ridiculous. like just be honest and be yourself but it’s just sadly way more complicated then that. she’s also caused me to have extreme stress and anxiety and even panic attacks because of her behaviors when there’s conflict. to the point where whenever i explain the full situation i get the same response from everyone which is “why are you still friends with her”. pulling away from this friendship isn’t gonna be easy and i don’t really no how to do it. when asking my mom she’s telling me to flat out block her everywhere and that her actions are inexcusable. my therapist asked me if i’m getting anything from this friendship and when i hesitated to think of anything she said “i think you know your answer”. my entire family and friends and therapist are encouraging me to leave her and never look back. but i am mortified not only because of my OCD but because i know what she does when faced with conflicts. i’m mortified thinking of everything i’ve ever said to her wether it was right or wrong or if i ever confessed to past compulsions, talking about traumas and stuff. thinking about if i’ve ever mentioned anything about anything which i know I haven’t like i would never forget it if i did but now i’m worried since i’m trying to no longer be friends with her. i’m having a lot of false memories pop into my head and it’s been making this process a whole lot harder. stressing about even posting this, plus worried about my thoughts and emotions making my OCD worse and making me fear this whole situation even more. does anyone have any suggestions on how to ease these anxieties??? or advice specifically on ending long term friendships???
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.
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