- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for sharing your current experience. I would say that you should be very proud of yourself for 1st noticing the anxiety, distress, and discomfort and letting those feelings of anxiety, fear, etc. be there.This is a perfect time to as I like to say "practice" ERP. Practice not analyzing any of those points you mentioned and place your attention on this present moment. Feel your feet on the ground, take a deep breathe, go for a walk, read, go hangout with a close companion, or play a sport. Not avoiding the discomfort, but choosing to do things you want to do and not give any attention to dwelling on that.The most important part being the response prevention. Not easy, but part of the work. When this type of situation occurs and we are in environments in which we are organically exposed to distress, use this as an opportunity to practice doing the work! This allows for two things; showing yourself you can handle and tolerate it, and also letting your body know that although you feel uncomfortable you are willing to keep doing whatever it is you are doing and getting on with your day! This is the foundation!
- Date posted
- 3y
I get very very very bad moral ocd. I think two things: a good way to understand what’s you and what’s ocd is to give it a voice/name and let it talk. And when you hear it talking ask “is that ocd” and let it respond. Most the time for me it answers grumpily but that just confirms it. My second thing, it is IMPOSSIBLE to say one thing is good and one thing is bad. We have a general idea but it’s imessuable. For me when it comes to people I don’t need in my life, even though it’s hard to remove judgement and emotion I have to take a moment to say “is this person helping or hurting me?” You’re aloud to feel hurt and that’s so valid and you can also bring some wise mind into it. Also, my ocd sometimes is better organized with pros and cons I also number them from 1-10 because obv one pro can be better it worse then a single con. This just helps to organize the mess of thoughts. I just have to make sure not to turn it into a compulsion and only use it for rly important decisions
- Date posted
- 3y
It depends how bad is bad
- Date posted
- 3y
This is a huge huge struggle for me and my relationship. My OCD acts like the morality police towards my partner- mentally shaming him and punishing him for things that even I have done. He’s not perfect and hes screwed up before big time. But my brain can’t accept loving this person anyway- it always tells me to leave or get rid of him because he’s “bad” and has done “bad things”. It is really difficult to separate the two. It does depend on the situation but if you can separate that person from what they’ve done (they are not their mistakes, just like we are not our thoughts), then you might have better luck deciding how to move forward
- Date posted
- 3y
Like has he cheated on you? Because Cheating is a big deal and it wouldn’t have anything to do with OCD if you were really pissed off and judging him for that because Cheating is worthy of being judged Harshly
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 Oh shoot I totally lost the thread of this conversation I thought it was responding to the guy sorry not that I’m not willing to talk about what you’re going through if you want to but I got totally mixed up
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 Haha no worries. But just to play devils advocate, even cheating has grey area. For some people, it’s a total dealbreaker and means the end of their relationship. For others, they choose to work through it. Morality is relative to your personal values and not everything is as black and white as it seems
- Date posted
- 3y
@rewilding Cheating should be. Unless there’s been really specific rules and guidelines to stuff like that certain place before the relationship Cheating should be dealt with harshly. 99% of cheaters are never sorry and I hate seeing a cheater happy because they don’t deserve it
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 Right, and if that’s your values, then if you ever had to deal with that situation, you would know what to do. But not everyone feels the same. That’s all I’m trying to say ☺️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
- Date posted
- 18w
i feel like i hate my friend and that i want to stop being friends with her. it feels like i desire it or get relief when i think about unfriending everyone. it makes me feel awful because this came out of nowhere and i have no reasoning for this because they’re all really nice to me. there’s not any red flags or anything. it feels like i want to send a message ending the friendships i have and i don’t know what to do.. everytime i talk to them now i get reminded of all of this and feel so guilty. i don’t even know if this is ocd or not because i haven’t even been diagnosed. idk what to do :( it hurts even more because when i think about if i would regret it, i don’t think i would..
- Date posted
- 16w
Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.
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