Tips for dealing with morality/decisions? I recently found something out about a friend from another friend. It distresses me, but I don’t know where to go from here. My OCD is making it hard to make a choice because it’s saying “this should be an easy, black and white choice. You are bad for not instantly getting rid of this person”. I need help figuring out how *I* feel, not how the OCD feels. Does anyone have advice? I feel like utter trash, I won’t lie.

I’ve always been a huge feminist, anti-racist, anti-sexual assaulters, etc. Basically against everybody anti-human rights. But because my OCD has been trying to convince me that I’m a sexual assaulter, a pedophile, racist, etc. (basically everything that goes against my morals), it also tries to tell me that I should sympathize with people I used to be against. Sometimes I’ll read about, say, teens committing sexual assault, and in the past I would have firmly said “they need to be punished”, whereas now I think “well, what if they didn’t know better? I made a mistake when I was a teen; what if they thought it was okay?” I never say these out loud because I dont want to make real victims feel bad, obviously. And if I hear someone has been racist, I’ll think, “What if they’re like me?” I still believe we need to eradicate sexual assault, racism, homophobia, etc, but I can’t help but think I’m a part of the problem, so sometimes I find myself sympathizing with “bad people”. It’s really messing my mind up. I don’t know what to think. Does anyone feel the same way or have any tips?

I feel like a child. I can’t make decisions, I truly can’t judge “right” from “wrong” because my definition of right is so strict and everyone else seems to be comfortable with shades of gray. How can I ever know? There seems to be a certain tolerance for “breaking rules” that the average person understands but I simply don’t follow. It’s all unacceptable to me. I struggle a lot with moral scrupulosity (not religious). It makes me feel like I don’t know how to operate in this world, like it’s not made for people like me. I feel lost like a child, and I’ll always be behind my peers because I just can’t function like they do. And I feel so guilty for my indecision; what if I should be taking some action, standing up for what’s right? I just freeze because I don’t ever know what to do. I don’t know where to go. I’m tired and embarrassed to not know these things. One time I even went to the police station to ask if I was guilty. It’s difficult to explain and ask.. I feel like a helpless child, but I’m supposed to be the adult. I’d rather overreact than under react.. but I just don’t know. Am I standing in the way of recovery? But what if I become so morally loose in the name of fighting OCD.. I’m so tired.

I have another question about moral OCD. For me it affects my partner. I once wrote to a streamer with whom I was regularly in the live streams, a relatively well-known one. It was so moderately “fan” writing. I intentionally “sneaked” myself in so I could become his moderator on his live streams, which was the reason I interacted with him in the first place. There were small talks about life, the live streams (as I said, just so he might use me as his moderator because I'm a fan he knows better and can rely on) and nothing more. Now I feel like I cheated on my boyfriend all the time. Since it concerns my relationship, I'm not sure whether I should confess this or not. I always think to myself that I haven't done anything bad per se and that's how I neutralize it. I'm currently unsure whether this is really a compulsion. Can someone help me with that? :) I feel so much guilt i can‘t do this.. is this OCD?