Hey guys. Things are getting rough with my girlfriend. I always ask her the same stuff, and whenever we’re together, we always talk about my ocd because I feel like we need to or she’ll be upset, but it just keeps making her more upset. What do I do? I love her and my ocd is about making sure we’re ok but me having that ocd makes us worse

Everyday always has to be something, I go through multiple different ocd induced spirals daily. Always worrying if I betrayed my partner. First it’s “did I cheat on my girlfriend and just forget?” Then it’s “Do sexual fantasies count as cheating? Did I betray her?” Then it’s “Oh you looked at your exes instagram out of a random impulse or curiosity a few times throughout your 2 year relationship that just mean you betrayed her” And many more throughout the day. I just feel so exhausted and tired. All I really want is to just be a good boyfriend, I just want to live in peace and wake up not always worried about something. I can never seem to really get over the ocd spiral unless I confess my ocd induced anxiety to my girlfriend. It’s obviously not healthy and it hurts her feelings more times than not. My girlfriend also has ocd so she tends to be more understanding but it doesn’t mean she isn’t hurt. I always feel trapped in the loop, if it’s not one thing it’s another. I’m ALWAYS worrying, I just feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. this has been going on for over a year, with only small breaks between spirals, i’m so unbelievably tired and more than anything, I just want to overcome this obstacle in my life and just be a good person and a good partner. If anyone has any advice, anything helps I feel so hopeless.

For some time i was obsessing over relationship with my girlfriend. For a long time we we're each other's best friends and we only had each other. Recently she made a good friend in work and im obviously really happy for her because she deserves to be loved by more people than me. But i started to feel really jealous. I never thought she can cheat on me i just have really low self esteem and i started to obsess over if she is still in love with me or if she is still attracted to me bc she sometimes would be more interested to spend time with that friend and not me. We talked about it a lot and i tried my best to not be jealous and give her space but i felt how she's distancing from me. At some point she stopped showing me her love in any way. She stopped hugging me and kissing me and she kinda stop telling me she loves me. She only responded "me too" when i told her i love her. I talked about it with her few times and she always said she understands and that she's tired and don't really need physical touch etc. But i was still worrying bc i just knew something is off. She really was acting different. And then few days ago she told me she's actually tired not because of job but me. She feels irritated by me and she don't know why and that she actually thought about breaking up with me and she don't know what to do because she's confused about her own feelings. She said she thinks she still loves me but it's hard for her to see a difference between friendship and love and that she feels tired of concept of dating someone. She said we should wait and see bc she thinks she still loves me but i don't know if that's honest. I don't know what to do anymore im crying all the time every day since that conversation we had. I feel like my worst nightmare just came true and now it's real and not only a though in my head. I can't do anything and i feel like it's the end of the world. We're living together and i don't want to go back to my parents but that's not the worst thing. I just love her so much and i can't hande thought of loosing her. My ocd made me question every single thing about me but somehow i never questioned my love for her so that's why I'm so emotional about it. I don't want to lose her. I don't know what to do i just want to be loved but I don't want anyone else. I don't know what to do im so scared. I want to die every time i look at her with love in my heart and i know she doesn't think about me like that anymore.

One of my ocd symptoms is hyperfixations, and i fixate on my girlfriend’s face- like, itd as if my ocd tries figuring out if something’s wrong This has caused me to avoid looking at her because ocd numbs my feelings from the anxiety- i have difficulty video calling, she doesn’t mind at all cause she doesn’t really video call w me (were in an ldr, she just doesnt really mind it at all) but i still mind. I love her, shes my beautiful princess and it enfuriates me that i cant get in touch with my real feelings cause of this :’( Same thing is happening with like, intrusive feelings aggainst her like random irritability- its so exhausting, im very tired, but im NOT irritated at her. Its disgusting how repulsive i feel to certain actions she does when she asks me for help, like, its as if I’m anxious and overwhelmed cause I have to help her with a lot of stuff, but I am not irritated or mad at her, thats intrusive :’( but it bugs me that its here :’( She knows about my intrusive feelings im just so frustrated