anyone with ROCD, pls help me i don’t want re assurance but anyone who has recovered from this theme please help me. i’m so scared i don’t love my boyfriend. like when i look at him all i feel is anxiety and i don’t feel the love i should. but like i know love is a choice not a feeling and it’s normal to get into ruts but this is consistent. we have been together for 4 years. and now when i think about him i just get anxious.

I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.

i feel nothing for my partner and i read coments in reddit r/rocd with people suggesting to remeber the good times with your partner but i cant remeber times i loved him or felt real love because everythibg is drowned in doubt and thoughts and i think many negative things such as “i never loved him i just liked the ideea of an relationship and when the thoughts started (one and a half years ago) i realised i didnt actually loved him but i hust cant accept the truth because i put hight expextesions in this relationship and i just coped all the moments forving myslef ro think i do love him” our relationship has normal wring and hw is a great guy and ny family loves him but i obly think i dont love him and even being next to him does not help. im in the worst flare up ever can someone relate or give me advice on how to get better. i tried thrapy but it made it worse and i cant go so i need to heal ob my own. i talk very much to chat gbt and post here often. people here told me i have rocd but in steal questioning this. ever since i found out about rocd i have been worser and worser. i canr remeber how to love. my memories are blured nothing makes me happy. i feel like i have changed into someone that once i was afraid of becoming. when this started i knew it was all fake but now it feels real. im so scred. my thoughts came in affirmaations making svenarios about me not loving him or explenesions of why i feel how i feel and it feels so real. im just si lost and confused i keep trying to find an answer and someone who is in the same situation but everytime i get a positive or negative response from someone it dosent calm me. i feel like im in denial. if someone tells me somethibg posituve i think its fake and that in lying masking the fact that i dont love him as rocd and if u get a negative response my chest hurts. I know its not the end of the world if i dont end uo with him but all of this does not make sense. its just out of the blue. can you stop liking someone out of the blue?? I feel so many negative emotions towords him and i dont understand why. i lost my spark and its all because of the thoughts. He triea to use logic on me saying that if i didnt cared or liked him i would not be this sad and cry so much but it does not help. My therapist told me “you can care about people but it doaent meab you like them” and last session she was only trying to make me realise i dont love him but it felt wrong. I have been like this 24/7 since september 2023. we are a couple since april 2024 and everything feela fake i doubt everything. i want to be normal. my chest hurts.

I just read a post that said “people with ROCD know they love their partners” right when I read it I got this horrible anxiety feeling rush down into my stomach. My partner asked me to be his girlfriend in December and literally since that night It’s like a switch of doubt turned on and I was suffering with consistent doubt about loving my partner, I felt like I didn’t feel anything anymore and I didn’t know what to do and through out the past months it has been an absolute wave of things going on. He is aware of my ocd and in a way I’m glad that this happened because I have had harm ocd for the past 4-5 years and had no idea what it was until 2 months ago when I got an OCD therapist, I just thought I was crazy so I’m happy to know I’m not. Buuuuttt back to the ROCD, my main thoughts and feelings are about not feeling like i love my partner anymore and if we’re compatible, I hyper fixate on the weight he’s gained in the past few months and all the bad food he eats, I think about if our lives even align, we have very different views on some things but are we too different, what if we really don’t know each other at all and we thought we did because we’ve been best friends for 10 years. This is so frustrating because I’ve gotten to the point where my anxiety is barely there, I was have constant outrageous anxiety for 3-4 months and now I’ve gotten to this numb, I literally feel absolutely nothing feeling and it’s not even with just my boyfriend it’s with everything, I just don’t feel happy with anything anymore, I feel like there’s something wrong with me. We got into an argument the other day about how rude I was and I didn’t even feel sad or apologetic when he was talking to me about it, and I couldn’t stop crying, like I just don’t feel anything. I feel like there’s something really wrong with me. All I can describe it as is “blank” does that make sense? I feel like a bad person and I feel like we’re going to break up and I can tell how sad he is. All I do know is that I don’t want to break up. But anytime I think about him or anything along the lines of my ROCD everything like freaks me out. I like scream “NO” and “STOP” in my head all the time. But it’s starting to really feel real. I’m so scared, and now I read that post that said that “people with ROCD know they love their partner” but WHAT IF I DONT KNOW!!! I WANT TO LOVE MY PARTNER. I want to feel the love I had for him before this all started. We were so happy, and we didn’t even get the honey moon phase because my ROCD started right when we made it official. This is seriously so crippling.