Anonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m here for you I feel exactly the way you feel. It’s super hard to sit with the uncertainty but you’ve got it. We’ve got it. I’m trying to stay calm rn too.
WitchyKotaWitchyKota
- Date posted
- 3y
I would recommend Awaken into live on YouTube. It helps to make you realize love is a choice and it is good ERP to say maybe you don't feel love today, but you choose to love today and you don't need the answer right now. You've got this! ❤
lexi1347lexi1347
- Date posted
- 3y
You won’t always be happy in a relationship you have to work for happiness togeteht find out what makes u unhappy and work together
WitchyKotaWitchyKota
- Date posted
- 3y
I agree, hello dear. Love is a choice, and takes work. A few people on YouTube or tiktok to check out would be awaken into Love, and anxiouslovecoach. You've got this, and know ypu are not alone.
lexi1347lexi1347
- Date posted
- 3y
@WitchyKota I’m having a spiral right now “do I love him” “am I better off without him “ but I know deep deep in my heart I love him truly and I care so much but then my head thinks “do I love him for the wrong reasons “ when I’m in a spirals I just want to cuddle and get a kiss from him because he comforts me and supports me tells me not to try to put too much thought into the negative or replace with positive . is it bad I want to be comfort by him is that a bad reason to love him .
WitchyKotaWitchyKota
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 No I don't think so, someone loving you right and you loving that about them isn't bad. Remember love is a choice, we choose it everyday. If you need someone to DM in between normal life I am here. I go into these spirals too, I am sorry these happen. I sometimes get the calm intrusive thoughts. Those are scary too, know that you are fighting this and you are so strong
lexi1347lexi1347
- Date posted
- 3y
@WitchyKota I know I love him I know I do I wouldn’t be so upset about the fact that maybe I didn’t love him . my mother always tells me if u truly don’t love someone you can get up and walk away without any problems. But it hurts to think about and it hurts to think I’ll be away from him . We broke up before and it killed me it felt like I lost half my soul , my best friend . Yeah dm would Be nice
lexi1347lexi1347
- Date posted
- 3y
@WitchyKota I want to love him I want to know I do so is that me choosing to love him . I mean I don’t wanna give up I do not want to give up on him he makes me feel warm and safe and comfort and when we go out I feel excited and happy
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 i read when you said you knew super deep deep down you love him, what if i’m doubting that too?!? i’ve been really good at resisting compulsions but this is hard
WitchyKotaWitchyKota
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 I am here my Instagram is: witchy.bun.bun
WitchyKotaWitchyKota
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Ya it is rough, it can be very difficult. Tell yourself: okay so what, if I don't I don't, but right now I am with him and that's all that matters.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel this way right now
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
You can talk to me
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
i am scared i don’t love him and i’m getting annoyed with him and the stuff he does i used to feel that way abt my ex….. i don’t wanna loose him at all and i just feel like i’m lying to him.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
This is exactly how I’m feeling rn…I feel a flare up coming on. I’ve been staying with my bf for about two weeks now because my family got covid. And I’ve been feeling more irritated with him and I’m kinda sad so my rocd is being triggered. We can’t let this take over us though. You need to use erp. You should say things like “yeah maybe I don’t want to be with him anymore”. You have to accept it. “Yeah maybe I don’t love him” “maybe we will break up” but rn you’re together and that’s all that matters. My therapist tells me that unless there’s absolutely nothing you like about your partner anymore then you shouldn’t break up.
HopeforhappyHopeforhappy
- Date posted
- 3y
Yep once you have problems you seem to always have them I think you are realizing he’s not your person or more should be a friend or in between friends and dating not everyone you date will work out almost every one usually does not I think people are lucky or not lucky I was never lucky and never found my soulmate and I can’t be near the two people who I think should be my soulmate or I would really enjoy being with them and wish I was with them but that’s sll just in my dreams but that’s ok
HopeforhappyHopeforhappy
- Date posted
- 3y
Don’t stay with the wrong person especially if all you do is get horribly upset and angry and hurt constantly I did it for years and I wish I didn’t I wasted my life on two people who I should not been serious with in my life and now it’s mistakes and regret and nothing but bs
lexi1347lexi1347
- Date posted
- 3y
but how do you ever know if it’s not the right person or if it’s just your intrusive thoughts from ocd telling u he’s not the right person or what if u don’t love him .
lexi1347lexi1347
- Date posted
- 3y
Idk I fele like I know deep in my heart I love him and I’ll be sadder if I left him . He makes me warm , and I feel a sense of comfort around him he always makes me laugh . I try to think these intrusive thoughts don’t know how I really feel toward him but sometimes it’s hard to not believe then
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 You don’t know. No one knows
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 My therapist says that until there’s nothing you like about your partner then don’t break up.
HopeforhappyHopeforhappy
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous If there are problems or you are not happy or fighting constantly not good
HopeforhappyHopeforhappy
- Date posted
- 3y
If your upset constantly or not happy or get frustrated constantly or have fear anxiety and anger and pain when you’re with them and constantly upsetting you and they do things you dispise or you say to yourself what am I doing here this is stupid or can be dangerous I wasted decades with being with people just because I wanted some one in my life what huge mistakes and nothing but disappointment and frustration and regret years later wasted my life on wrong people and now I’m alone I should of been more alone then then settling or choose wrong people I feel so stupid and I have so many regrets and problems because of idiots but luckily I let it all go now many years later but it’s still ruined my life and emotions and trying to release and heal from so much bad choices and trauma and upsetting situations
lexi1347lexi1347
- Date posted
- 3y
But my rocd tells me I’m not happy or I have anxiety around them because he may be the trigger but I still have so much love and happiness and he does nothing but support and love me and tells me everything is gonna be okay . how would I ever wanna leave someone that good . idk I guess we all have different experiences I think anxiety and unhappiness soemtimes is in healthy relationship you have to work togeteht to solve and get through it and find ways to make things exciting again
lexi1347lexi1347
- Date posted
- 3y
I know they are intrusive thoughts tho because when we broke up once god I was a mess I was so broken and hurt and I felt so alone like I lost my soul and my best friend my ride or die all in one
lexi1347lexi1347
- Date posted
- 3y
I know intrusive thoughts are the ones that question my love and say I’m better off without him
HopeforhappyHopeforhappy
- Date posted
- 3y
You’ll know if it’s right to stay in relationships or not
WitchyKotaWitchyKota
- Date posted
- 3y
Actually alot of people with ROCD don't know, there isn't a right person. Love is a choice. It isn't a choice to be unhappy, to be nitpick, to have rocd, I don't think your responses belong here in this community. While ERP is helpful and helps alot of people just telling someone that they will know is not an okay response. I hope these people find their way through the rocd tunnel, I suffer from it too. I hope you are happy with your choices, but your experiences are not meant to guide theirs. Have a wonderful day ❤
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
@WitchyKota Thank you I also agree. Saying that you’ll know is triggering.
WitchyKotaWitchyKota
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Agreed
Related posts
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 24w
i feel bad
i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 24w
i feel so bad about this i cant stop
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 24w
i feel bad for my boyfriend
He loves me and complimenta me and saya beautiful things and does many things for me, he says he loves me and he is there for me, but me.. i cant even say i love you without doubting, i am doubting my feelings my atractuon for him, everything, i feel so bad, i dont want to be like this, i hate myself . He is precious and genuine and im scared im not, i have moments when i am happy … but rn i am sad. I saw him today. i dont know what i felt but as im writing this i feel guilt amd fear. Scared that i may be pretending. I want to be happy, what if im not happy with him.. it cant be.
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