- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m here for you I feel exactly the way you feel. It’s super hard to sit with the uncertainty but you’ve got it. We’ve got it. I’m trying to stay calm rn too.
- Date posted
- 3y
I would recommend Awaken into live on YouTube. It helps to make you realize love is a choice and it is good ERP to say maybe you don't feel love today, but you choose to love today and you don't need the answer right now. You've got this! ❤
- Date posted
- 3y
You won’t always be happy in a relationship you have to work for happiness togeteht find out what makes u unhappy and work together
- Date posted
- 3y
I agree, hello dear. Love is a choice, and takes work. A few people on YouTube or tiktok to check out would be awaken into Love, and anxiouslovecoach. You've got this, and know ypu are not alone.
- Date posted
- 3y
@WitchyKota I’m having a spiral right now “do I love him” “am I better off without him “ but I know deep deep in my heart I love him truly and I care so much but then my head thinks “do I love him for the wrong reasons “ when I’m in a spirals I just want to cuddle and get a kiss from him because he comforts me and supports me tells me not to try to put too much thought into the negative or replace with positive . is it bad I want to be comfort by him is that a bad reason to love him .
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 No I don't think so, someone loving you right and you loving that about them isn't bad. Remember love is a choice, we choose it everyday. If you need someone to DM in between normal life I am here. I go into these spirals too, I am sorry these happen. I sometimes get the calm intrusive thoughts. Those are scary too, know that you are fighting this and you are so strong
- Date posted
- 3y
@WitchyKota I know I love him I know I do I wouldn’t be so upset about the fact that maybe I didn’t love him . my mother always tells me if u truly don’t love someone you can get up and walk away without any problems. But it hurts to think about and it hurts to think I’ll be away from him . We broke up before and it killed me it felt like I lost half my soul , my best friend . Yeah dm would Be nice
- Date posted
- 3y
@WitchyKota I want to love him I want to know I do so is that me choosing to love him . I mean I don’t wanna give up I do not want to give up on him he makes me feel warm and safe and comfort and when we go out I feel excited and happy
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 i read when you said you knew super deep deep down you love him, what if i’m doubting that too?!? i’ve been really good at resisting compulsions but this is hard
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 I am here my Instagram is: witchy.bun.bun
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Ya it is rough, it can be very difficult. Tell yourself: okay so what, if I don't I don't, but right now I am with him and that's all that matters.
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel this way right now
- Date posted
- 3y
You can talk to me
- Date posted
- 3y
i am scared i don’t love him and i’m getting annoyed with him and the stuff he does i used to feel that way abt my ex….. i don’t wanna loose him at all and i just feel like i’m lying to him.
- Date posted
- 3y
This is exactly how I’m feeling rn…I feel a flare up coming on. I’ve been staying with my bf for about two weeks now because my family got covid. And I’ve been feeling more irritated with him and I’m kinda sad so my rocd is being triggered. We can’t let this take over us though. You need to use erp. You should say things like “yeah maybe I don’t want to be with him anymore”. You have to accept it. “Yeah maybe I don’t love him” “maybe we will break up” but rn you’re together and that’s all that matters. My therapist tells me that unless there’s absolutely nothing you like about your partner anymore then you shouldn’t break up.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yep once you have problems you seem to always have them I think you are realizing he’s not your person or more should be a friend or in between friends and dating not everyone you date will work out almost every one usually does not I think people are lucky or not lucky I was never lucky and never found my soulmate and I can’t be near the two people who I think should be my soulmate or I would really enjoy being with them and wish I was with them but that’s sll just in my dreams but that’s ok
- Date posted
- 3y
Don’t stay with the wrong person especially if all you do is get horribly upset and angry and hurt constantly I did it for years and I wish I didn’t I wasted my life on two people who I should not been serious with in my life and now it’s mistakes and regret and nothing but bs
- Date posted
- 3y
but how do you ever know if it’s not the right person or if it’s just your intrusive thoughts from ocd telling u he’s not the right person or what if u don’t love him .
- Date posted
- 3y
Idk I fele like I know deep in my heart I love him and I’ll be sadder if I left him . He makes me warm , and I feel a sense of comfort around him he always makes me laugh . I try to think these intrusive thoughts don’t know how I really feel toward him but sometimes it’s hard to not believe then
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 You don’t know. No one knows
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 My therapist says that until there’s nothing you like about your partner then don’t break up.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous If there are problems or you are not happy or fighting constantly not good
- Date posted
- 3y
If your upset constantly or not happy or get frustrated constantly or have fear anxiety and anger and pain when you’re with them and constantly upsetting you and they do things you dispise or you say to yourself what am I doing here this is stupid or can be dangerous I wasted decades with being with people just because I wanted some one in my life what huge mistakes and nothing but disappointment and frustration and regret years later wasted my life on wrong people and now I’m alone I should of been more alone then then settling or choose wrong people I feel so stupid and I have so many regrets and problems because of idiots but luckily I let it all go now many years later but it’s still ruined my life and emotions and trying to release and heal from so much bad choices and trauma and upsetting situations
- Date posted
- 3y
But my rocd tells me I’m not happy or I have anxiety around them because he may be the trigger but I still have so much love and happiness and he does nothing but support and love me and tells me everything is gonna be okay . how would I ever wanna leave someone that good . idk I guess we all have different experiences I think anxiety and unhappiness soemtimes is in healthy relationship you have to work togeteht to solve and get through it and find ways to make things exciting again
- Date posted
- 3y
I know they are intrusive thoughts tho because when we broke up once god I was a mess I was so broken and hurt and I felt so alone like I lost my soul and my best friend my ride or die all in one
- Date posted
- 3y
I know intrusive thoughts are the ones that question my love and say I’m better off without him
- Date posted
- 3y
You’ll know if it’s right to stay in relationships or not
- Date posted
- 3y
Actually alot of people with ROCD don't know, there isn't a right person. Love is a choice. It isn't a choice to be unhappy, to be nitpick, to have rocd, I don't think your responses belong here in this community. While ERP is helpful and helps alot of people just telling someone that they will know is not an okay response. I hope these people find their way through the rocd tunnel, I suffer from it too. I hope you are happy with your choices, but your experiences are not meant to guide theirs. Have a wonderful day ❤
- Date posted
- 3y
@WitchyKota Thank you I also agree. Saying that you’ll know is triggering.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Agreed
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
My boyfriend told me that he feels like he’s losing me, that I’ve changed, and that I don’t seem happy to see him anymore. I know that this should hurt me deeply, but when he said it, I didn’t feel anything. And now I’m terrified. Why didn’t I react? Why didn’t I feel instant sadness or guilt? It’s like I was emotionally blocked, like I didn’t care at all—and that thought is destroying me. What if this means I don’t love him? What if I’ve just been lying to myself and I don’t want to accept the truth? I feel so disconnected and numb. My brain keeps telling me: “If you really cared, you would feel something.” But instead, I feel nothing. And the fact that I feel nothing makes me panic even more. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I used to feel so much, and now it’s like I can’t access my emotions at all. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to feel like this forever. I just want to feel normal again
- Date posted
- 24w
I just had a panic attack. It feels too real. It feels like I don’t have feelings for him anymore. Why is this happening? Why don’t I feel anything? Why don’t I love him? Why am I even questioning whether I ever loved him in the first place? I’ve been stuck in this for so long that I’m starting to believe it’s the truth. What if I feel this way because I just don’t want to accept that I don’t like him? What if I led him on this entire time? When I talk to him, I feel nothing. I’m not interested in anything. I can’t have conversations with him, I can’t kiss him, I just feel numb and fake. I feel horrible. What is happening to me? How did I get here? Why don’t I feel okay? I don’t understand what I feel. I feel like I’m lying to myself, like I’m stuck in this terrifying loop. I also feel like I don’t even care that I’m hurting him. I know he’s upset, and I know this is affecting him too, but I feel nothing about it. I don’t know why. It’s like something is blocking me from feeling anything. I know I should care. I know I love him. So why do I feel like I don’t? I feel so lost. I feel like I’ve changed. I don’t recognize myself anymore. What if this is real? I just want to feel normal again. i dont understand what is happening. i fear i didn’t love him ever because these thoughts started in the 4th month of us being together. in two months we make 2 years. am i leading him on? im a horrible person. i dont understand .
- Date posted
- 17w
My boyfriend just poured his heart out to me. He told me how much pain he’s in — how disconnected he feels from me, how hurt he is that we’re not intimate, that I don’t react to his love, that we don’t feel like a couple anymore. He said things that should’ve broken my heart… but I felt nothing. Nothing. And now I’m terrified. Not just scared — destroyed by the thought that maybe I really don’t love him, and I’ve just been lying to myself this entire time. I keep thinking: “If I loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?” “Why didn’t I cry? Why didn’t I reach for him? Why didn’t I say ‘I’m sorry’?” “What kind of person listens to someone they care about and feels absolutely nothing?” I feel like I’ve been fighting this for so long — like I’ve spent months, maybe even years, battling the same thoughts over and over again: “You don’t love him.” “You’re just used to him.” “You want to want him — but you don’t.” And what makes it worse is that everyone around me says the same thing: “Maybe you’re forcing it.” “You can’t control how you feel.” “If you’re this confused, that means something.” But what no one seems to understand is that I’ve tried so hard. I didn’t want this. I didn’t choose to become cold. I didn’t choose to stop feeling things. I didn’t want to lose my ability to love — or to connect — or to just exist next to him without questioning every single breath I take. I feel like I’ve become someone else. Someone who doesn’t react. Someone who doesn’t smile when he’s kind. Someone who doesn’t feel warmth when he says “I love you.” But this isn’t who I was. There was a time when I loved hearing his voice. When I looked forward to seeing him. When I felt. And now… nothing. Just this endless cycle of doubt, guilt, numbness, fear, and the horrible thought: “If it feels this real, maybe it is.” I don’t know what this is anymore. I feel like I’m hurting him. And I feel like I’m losing myself, too. And the most terrifying part? I don’t feel anything about that either. But if I truly didn’t care — why does this hurt so much? If anyone else has ever felt like this… please, please tell me I’m not alone. I don’t want this to be the truth. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond