i’m at the end of my rope. i’m in non stop genuine f***ing agony every day over my own eventual death it’s making me miserable. it feels like my life has no more meaning and i’m missing out on so much. please i just want to be happy again. i’m so sad all the time i feel like i’m already dead. i cannot comprehend nonexistence and religion feels like a cop out. i can no longer sleep at night from stress. i’m so sad. anyways. i’m wasting my f***ing life. i’m only 18 please why won’t these thoughts STOP i’m in so much pain

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. Please know that you are not alone and there is hope. If you don’t have an ERP therapist I recommend starting as soon as you can! Take a deep breath and remember to relinquish control

It feels awful at the bottom. Try to give yourself some credit - you are under a lot of stress and anxiety and yet still waking up each day. Things can and will get better. Remember the last time you felt OK, or had a spark of joy, or were optimistic about your condition - you can feel like that again. My freshman year of college I had a stretch of 24/7 anxiety - going to bed with it, waking up with it. I went to see a therapist at school and had an awful intrusive thought and blacked out the whole experience. I transferred schools, I moved back home. It felt like rock bottom. I am 31 now and so much better. You can be too. Get a therapist who can do exposure therapy with you if you're diagnosed OCD. Good luck.

Hang in there go to therapy and reach out it seems scary but someone can help also YouTube has a lot of tools to help in the meanwhile you can be better

Hi there 💙 These are hard feelings to have for anybody, but I remember how much harder it was to deal with when I was young. Try to trust in the hope that the more you learn about your problems, the more you try to get better, and the more you get help from others/therapists, the more likely it is you’re going to feel better. I was feeling a lot of that inescapable pain type of feeling last night myself. I find that when things are really bad it sometimes helps me to try to find something that will completely engage my attention and give me a little space from the thoughts—for example, I watch tv and okay sudoku at the same time, or go for a walk and listen to music, or I talk to someone on the phone about THEIR day not mine. You have to just find what works for you. Distraction isn’t a permanent fix but it often gives a bit of relief when things are unbearable. Because it’s easy to think that when things are bad you need to think about them more to address it, but stepping away is usually better.