lenxiety
- Date posted
- 3y
lenxietylenxiety
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks again for commenting and sharing your experience
Ashhh1209Ashhh1209
- Date posted
- 3y
I completely understand how difficult it is. I’ve been struggling recently and my thought has come back to this conversation. I do want to reinforce that my relationship is not perfect. He misses some signs and I learn to hide signs better. Even though him knowing my signs is a good thing. It’s vulnerable to have someone able to read you. Even with trust, OCD for me has been really isolating. Part of that is our innate sense of needing to hide these obsessions. With your relapse, I’m sure signs to yourself and your partner have been much more subtle to hide and mask these obsessions. Obviously I can’t know for sure, but from my experiences in relapses that’s my conclusion. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Have grace. You are doing amazing!
seekinghelp123seekinghelp123
- Date posted
- 3y
Sending you virtual support. Life gets tough. I know you can be great, whatever the circumstances
Ashhh1209Ashhh1209
- Date posted
- 3y
My advice is to talk to him about it. If you feel safe and comfortable talking to him about ROCD and what you’ve been feeling of course. In my experience, I ruminate on small details so much that I’m paralyzed. Luckily, after talking honestly to my boyfriend about how ROCD works and affects me he’s begun to notice the signs that I’m sinking and will make me tell him what I’m ruminating on. This help me from spiraling into over analyzing everything because he comforts me. This works for us because I have previous trauma that make addressing worries very difficult for me. Even if he doesn’t confront me I’ve noticed him putting extra time and effort into making sure I’m okay and showing that he loves me. I understand that I am very lucky in this relationship. I hope you’re in a safe relationship where you can share your struggles. I’m sending my virtual love and support!
lenxietylenxiety
- Date posted
- 3y
So I have opened up too him about it but we almost broke up because i was asking about every little thing that crossed my mind. I don’t want to reassurance seek too much because he gets upset and takes it personal. It’s def a safe space but I just don’t want to bother him about it. I think it’s possibly really minor, and his behaviour hasn’t changed negatively so I’m hopeful
lenxietylenxiety
- Date posted
- 3y
About my ROCD, not this specific situation
Ashhh1209Ashhh1209
- Date posted
- 3y
I completely understand. In the beginning it was a lot like that with us too. I was diagnosed with ocd after we’d been together like two years so going through that together has been really helpful. Once we started living together was when I think he realized exactly how it affected me. It did take quite some time for him to get to this point we’re at now. What help for us I think is me explaining how I feel and what happens when I start going down the spiral when I’m not already in that spiral. I have many more worries than he ever notices. It’s the worries that grab on and won’t let go that we work on. I will also write some worries down that in my head already sounds silly. I’ll put pen to paper to write it down and then I’ll leave it alone until I’m in at least a semi better headspace and I’ll read it see how I feel and if it’s less distressing than before I rip up the paper. I don’t know why that works but it’s the physical manifestations to show myself I can have these thoughts and it not ruin my relationship. I hope something in this is useful. When I get home from work I’ll ask my boyfriend about his experience to see if he has any advice
lenxietylenxiety
- Date posted
- 3y
That’s so helpful. So I am in a relationship of 2.5 years as well, was medicated for some time then got off and had ROCD relapse. So it’s been so hard. My partner is understanding but sometimes I may come off as a accusatory but I don’t mean to be. Especially cause my worries revolve around his phone and cheating. I know he most likely would never but I still worry. I get stuck on small things and then my brain tries to connect coincidences to make an issue. It’s so so hard :( I write in my phone notes and realize later it’s a stupid worry; but in the moment… it’s so difficult
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anonymous_an...
- Date posted
- 24w
Questioning is it normal?
Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I can’t tell if I’m not having my needs met or if it’s my ROCD questioning things. I can’t express that I’m upset because he rlly doesn’t understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up it’s turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: “He’s cheating on me and that’s why he’s not texting.”) (IE: “He’s talking like this because he just doesn’t love me, and he’s not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesn’t have the heart to do it yet”)
misereri
- Date posted
- 19w
Someone to talk to?please?
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
clair_m88
- Date posted
- 16w
Help :( ROCD & object permanence
Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺
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