- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks again for commenting and sharing your experience
- Date posted
- 3y
I completely understand how difficult it is. I’ve been struggling recently and my thought has come back to this conversation. I do want to reinforce that my relationship is not perfect. He misses some signs and I learn to hide signs better. Even though him knowing my signs is a good thing. It’s vulnerable to have someone able to read you. Even with trust, OCD for me has been really isolating. Part of that is our innate sense of needing to hide these obsessions. With your relapse, I’m sure signs to yourself and your partner have been much more subtle to hide and mask these obsessions. Obviously I can’t know for sure, but from my experiences in relapses that’s my conclusion. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Have grace. You are doing amazing!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Sending you virtual support. Life gets tough. I know you can be great, whatever the circumstances
- Date posted
- 3y
My advice is to talk to him about it. If you feel safe and comfortable talking to him about ROCD and what you’ve been feeling of course. In my experience, I ruminate on small details so much that I’m paralyzed. Luckily, after talking honestly to my boyfriend about how ROCD works and affects me he’s begun to notice the signs that I’m sinking and will make me tell him what I’m ruminating on. This help me from spiraling into over analyzing everything because he comforts me. This works for us because I have previous trauma that make addressing worries very difficult for me. Even if he doesn’t confront me I’ve noticed him putting extra time and effort into making sure I’m okay and showing that he loves me. I understand that I am very lucky in this relationship. I hope you’re in a safe relationship where you can share your struggles. I’m sending my virtual love and support!
- Date posted
- 3y
So I have opened up too him about it but we almost broke up because i was asking about every little thing that crossed my mind. I don’t want to reassurance seek too much because he gets upset and takes it personal. It’s def a safe space but I just don’t want to bother him about it. I think it’s possibly really minor, and his behaviour hasn’t changed negatively so I’m hopeful
- Date posted
- 3y
About my ROCD, not this specific situation
- Date posted
- 3y
I completely understand. In the beginning it was a lot like that with us too. I was diagnosed with ocd after we’d been together like two years so going through that together has been really helpful. Once we started living together was when I think he realized exactly how it affected me. It did take quite some time for him to get to this point we’re at now. What help for us I think is me explaining how I feel and what happens when I start going down the spiral when I’m not already in that spiral. I have many more worries than he ever notices. It’s the worries that grab on and won’t let go that we work on. I will also write some worries down that in my head already sounds silly. I’ll put pen to paper to write it down and then I’ll leave it alone until I’m in at least a semi better headspace and I’ll read it see how I feel and if it’s less distressing than before I rip up the paper. I don’t know why that works but it’s the physical manifestations to show myself I can have these thoughts and it not ruin my relationship. I hope something in this is useful. When I get home from work I’ll ask my boyfriend about his experience to see if he has any advice
- Date posted
- 3y
That’s so helpful. So I am in a relationship of 2.5 years as well, was medicated for some time then got off and had ROCD relapse. So it’s been so hard. My partner is understanding but sometimes I may come off as a accusatory but I don’t mean to be. Especially cause my worries revolve around his phone and cheating. I know he most likely would never but I still worry. I get stuck on small things and then my brain tries to connect coincidences to make an issue. It’s so so hard :( I write in my phone notes and realize later it’s a stupid worry; but in the moment… it’s so difficult
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭
- Date posted
- 8w
Hi everyone, I’ve already been diagnosed with OCD, and I strongly suspect that I’ve developed a ROCD pattern. I wanted to share a specific situation that just won’t leave me alone – even though it’s objectively been cleared up. I’m in a relationship with a man who is, by nature, a very transparent, honest, and loyal person. Rationally, I know I can trust him. Recently, he got a phone call while I was with him. I asked him to check who it was. He hesitated briefly and then checked kind of slowly – the number wasn’t saved. To me, the whole thing just felt a bit strange. It didn’t seem like “open behavior,” even though he told me afterward that he simply didn’t have the energy to deal with it, since he had generally had a bad day. The problem is: Even after this explanation – which makes sense – the thoughts won’t go away. I keep replaying the situation in my head, analyzing his reaction, wondering if that hesitation meant something – even though I know he didn’t do anything wrong. I feel like I need to bring it up again to feel at ease. But I also know that would only bring temporary relief, and then the cycle would start all over again. It feels just like other OCD loops – only this time, it’s centered around my relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How do you stop yourself from falling into the reassurance trap over and over again? I don’t want to overwhelm or hurt my partner unnecessarily – I just want to learn how to manage this inner tension better. did it sound like ocd?? Rocd?? Thanks for reading. It really helps to know I’m not alone. (edited)
- Date posted
- 5w
Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship..
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