Hey everyone :( it’s been while since I posted but I’m having hard time with my relationship cause of my ROCD. I keep worry about small details like the fact my bf recently changed his voice note messaging to expiring after two mins. I know his best friend talks to him 24/7 and he is always sending my bf voice notes (sometime his friend talks about illegal things) but is this something I should worry about? I feel like over analyzing his behaviours to see if he is hiding something from me or being disloyal. My heart knows it’s not in his character but I’m still worried :( any advice would be great. (Also have PTSD from being cheated on in past relationship)

Relationship OCD

lenxiety

Date posted: 3y

Thanks again for commenting and sharing your experience

Ashhh1209

Date posted: 3y

I completely understand how difficult it is. I’ve been struggling recently and my thought has come back to this conversation. I do want to reinforce that my relationship is not perfect. He misses some signs and I learn to hide signs better. Even though him knowing my signs is a good thing. It’s vulnerable to have someone able to read you. Even with trust, OCD for me has been really isolating. Part of that is our innate sense of needing to hide these obsessions. With your relapse, I’m sure signs to yourself and your partner have been much more subtle to hide and mask these obsessions. Obviously I can’t know for sure, but from my experiences in relapses that’s my conclusion. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Have grace. You are doing amazing!

seekinghelp123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Sending you virtual support. Life gets tough. I know you can be great, whatever the circumstances

Ashhh1209

Date posted: 3y

My advice is to talk to him about it. If you feel safe and comfortable talking to him about ROCD and what you’ve been feeling of course. In my experience, I ruminate on small details so much that I’m paralyzed. Luckily, after talking honestly to my boyfriend about how ROCD works and affects me he’s begun to notice the signs that I’m sinking and will make me tell him what I’m ruminating on. This help me from spiraling into over analyzing everything because he comforts me. This works for us because I have previous trauma that make addressing worries very difficult for me. Even if he doesn’t confront me I’ve noticed him putting extra time and effort into making sure I’m okay and showing that he loves me. I understand that I am very lucky in this relationship. I hope you’re in a safe relationship where you can share your struggles. I’m sending my virtual love and support!

lenxiety

Date posted: 3y

So I have opened up too him about it but we almost broke up because i was asking about every little thing that crossed my mind. I don’t want to reassurance seek too much because he gets upset and takes it personal. It’s def a safe space but I just don’t want to bother him about it. I think it’s possibly really minor, and his behaviour hasn’t changed negatively so I’m hopeful

lenxiety

Date posted: 3y

About my ROCD, not this specific situation

Ashhh1209

Date posted: 3y

I completely understand. In the beginning it was a lot like that with us too. I was diagnosed with ocd after we’d been together like two years so going through that together has been really helpful. Once we started living together was when I think he realized exactly how it affected me. It did take quite some time for him to get to this point we’re at now. What help for us I think is me explaining how I feel and what happens when I start going down the spiral when I’m not already in that spiral. I have many more worries than he ever notices. It’s the worries that grab on and won’t let go that we work on. I will also write some worries down that in my head already sounds silly. I’ll put pen to paper to write it down and then I’ll leave it alone until I’m in at least a semi better headspace and I’ll read it see how I feel and if it’s less distressing than before I rip up the paper. I don’t know why that works but it’s the physical manifestations to show myself I can have these thoughts and it not ruin my relationship. I hope something in this is useful. When I get home from work I’ll ask my boyfriend about his experience to see if he has any advice

lenxiety

Date posted: 3y

That’s so helpful. So I am in a relationship of 2.5 years as well, was medicated for some time then got off and had ROCD relapse. So it’s been so hard. My partner is understanding but sometimes I may come off as a accusatory but I don’t mean to be. Especially cause my worries revolve around his phone and cheating. I know he most likely would never but I still worry. I get stuck on small things and then my brain tries to connect coincidences to make an issue. It’s so so hard :( I write in my phone notes and realize later it’s a stupid worry; but in the moment… it’s so difficult

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