I hate intrusive feelings so much. Like I'll be obsessing over something and then I "feel" something that could be proof the obsession is true... it feels so real and i feel like a horrible person. I hate ocd so so so much

OCD will do everything in its power to make you think that your thoughts are true and that you are the exception. Stay strong.

Hate = resistance = compulsion... therfore making them stronger. Don't love them, but try and reduce your resistance. Have some self compassion, you can't stop them. Do ERP on your worst case scenario and work to accept how horrible and awful it could be. Watch for other compulsions that will need to be dealt with slowly reduce them. Work on accepting that your worst case scenario could be true, accept its painful and it hurts really bad that it could be true, Ultimately freedom will be found when you no longer fear the outcome of your obsession, this comes from acceptance

Also, acceptance does NOT mean you like or agree with the intrusive. Its simply acknowledging the thought is there. "This is an OCD thought" Then ignore it. Don't fight, argue, or reason with it. Don't try to convince yourself it's not true. Your anxiety will go crazy at first. The key is not doing any compulsions. Then your anxiety will peak and start to decline. It takes practice and time. Just because the thought FEELS real doesn't mean it is. Intrusive thoughts don't mean anything unless WE attach meaning to them. Everyone has intrusive thoughts